Winnie the Pooh is bad for children. There are many reasons why this is the case; let’s examine a few.

First, Winnie the Pooh teaches faulty logic. This is aptly illustrated by Tigger’s signature song: “The wonderful thing about Tiggers, is Tiggers are wonderful things.” This is a classic tautology, and makes for an extremely poor argument. Young minds deserve to be exposed to better thinking.

Second, Winnie the Pooh is vulgar. In very name, Winnie the Pooh desensitizes children to the vulgar. At early ages, children’s minds are not developed enough to distinguish between “Pooh” the bear and “poo” the excrement. Parents send a mixed message by endorsing “Pooh” the bear while discouraging light-minded conversation about “poo” the excrement. An advocate of truth in advertising, my brother recommends that we call a spade a spade and just call him Winnie the Sh#%.

Third, Winnie the Pooh sends the wrong message about modesty in dress. I have no problem with suspending reality to enjoy a children’s program that features talking animals who wear clothes. But animals should be dressed, or not. By wearing a shirt but no pants, Winnie the Pooh sends a demented message to children that this behavior is somehow acceptable. I, for one, prefer that my children do not grow up thinking it is acceptable to walk around in public without pants on.

Fourth, Winnie the Pooh leads to binge drinking. This idea is aptly summarized here:

Many an American grows up watching Winnie-the-Pooh; at that tender age these malleable minds are exposed to a bear who obsesses over and craves honey. In the outback that is the Hundred Acre Woods, honey is a scarce resource, and Pooh goes through a series of Herculean tasks to get his grubby paws on the illusive prize. Finally, he succeeds, and then there is the binge phase. Pooh stuffs himself senseless. Let us extrapolate this to the current trends in society. Alcohol is clearly something students go to great lengths to obtain. When they finally get their hands on this “resource,” they binge drink. Many students feel that they will not be able to obtain alcohol easily again, so when they drink they try and atone for the fact that alcohol is not readily available all the time. The students may also consume copious quantities as a subconscious reward for their efforts.

Finally, Winnie the Pooh is an outright menace to society. Recent news headlines reported that Tigger has committed incidents of both physical and sexual abuse. And spare me the arguments that he was ultimately acquitted of the sexual abuse charges—no jury is going to convict Tigger. Which further underscores the problem: Winnie the Pooh has become so intimately institutionalized in our society that he can commit physical and sexual abuse with impunity.

With so many quality children’s programs out there, why should we continue to endorse a program that is so bad on so many levels? Is this not precisely a modern example of what the Book of Mormon described as “wicked traditions of our fathers”?