I used to read Drudge every day, I’m so busy now it’s sporadic. But it’s basically where I turn to for the news.

There are some interesting things in the “paper” this morning. I have opinons.

“Police arrest 7 year old on dirt bike” My first thought was, “I bet they didn’t arrest him, they probably just picked him up and yelled at his parents.” Well, they did handcuff him and take him to the station where (in his words) ‘they scared me.’ It’s probably high time somebody scared him. The little snot shouldn’t have been riding his dirt bike on the sidewalk in the first place. I bet his neighbors were thrilled to see him hauled off.

“Man urinates in air sick bag” This happened on a Skywest flight in Utah, probably originating from Cedar or St. George. The guy had so much beer he really had to go, which made me wonder how drunk he was and if he should have even been on the flight in the first place. I guess, all things considered, it was better than wetting his pants and ruining the seat. I think the stewardess should have just let him get up and go. Sometimes the rules are stupid.

“Ready for her close-up” Valerie Plame is quite pretty. They should make a movie. I wonder if she killed anybody or slept with a Russian to get information. I wonder what kind of spy she was. I don’t really care about the scandal involving Libby, etc.

“Prison is horrendous” Richard Hatch is in prison for tax evasion. He’s not having fun and missing his husband. I want to hurl.

“FBI links Monroe suicide to Kennedy” This is news? That poor girl. You know, rich and famous people like Marilyn Monroe and Britney Spears have terribly sad lives. I wish I had a lot of money, but stories like this make it clear that money isn’t the solution to anything. Also, Kennedy was pretty rotten.

“Obama’s search for self as a child in Hawaii” This guy almost sounds too good to be true. I’d like the bad news first, tell the truth. Also, I’ve always thought Chris Rock would make a good president, but he sort of sucked at hosting the Oscars, so maybe he’s not the leadership type. He’s honest, though. Did you know Chris Rock wanted to be president when he was a little boy?

And Carol Burnett is suing The Family Guy and people want Bush impeached and Gore has 300,000 signatures on climate control while still driving an SUV and living in an energy guzzling mansion. Someday archeologists will find out a lot about our society by reading Drudge. Onward and upward.