Mormon Mentality - Thoughts and Asides by Peculiar People » Does “Grounded” Help Kids Find Common Ground?

By a random John

Aug. 5th, 2007 at 12:07 am

The Deseret News has an article today on a DVD sold to Christian youth ministers in Utah aimed at helping kids interact in a positive way with their LDS friends, school mates, and neighbors.Â The article is a bit ambiguous as the whether the DVD is anti-Mormon or not.Â At one point in the article a minister asks a question that many LDS would find offensive:

The Rev. Johnson asked “Josh” whether he thinks he’s taking a large step in looking to become a Latter-day Saint â€” whether he sees it as a lateral move within the Christian tradition, like moving from Calvary Chapel to Trinity Baptist, or whether he sees it as more dramatic, like leaving Christianity to join Islam.

While I think the question has some merit, it certainly is loaded and could be handled with more tact.Â The rest of the article is much more moderate and lets some of those that participated in the production of the DVD tell their stories.

Oddly, it isn’t even clear if the author of the article has seen the video, which I would think would be a pre-requisite for writing about it.

But concerns about the quality of the article and whether the DVD is anti-Mormon or not aside, I think the stated purpose of this project is a good idea.Â Anybody that grows up in Utah is very aware that there is a real divide between LDS and non-LDS kids.Â I’m glad someone is making an effort to bridge that gap.Â What would be even more impressive to me would be a cross-faith effort with LDS leaders to produce materials for kids of all faiths to encourage them to be able to put aside their religious differences and be friends.Â I wonder if the producers of this DVD considered such and effort, and I also wonder how well such an idea would go over with LDS leadership.

1. DKL

Sun, Aug 5, 2007 @ 12:51am

That’s very interesting, John. I think that it is easier for non-Mormons to make something about Mormons, because Mormonism is much less diffuse than non-Mormonism, but that doesn’t mean that the church couldn’t still include something in it’s youth-oriented curriculum. The YM curriculum for priesthood meeting is outstanding, and could easily accommodate such a lesson.

2. Dan

Sun, Aug 5, 2007 @ 9:18am

arj,

I also wonder how well such an idea would go over with LDS leadership.

I would think the higher level leadership would have no problem, but at the local level? Eh…

3. Mark Hansen

Sun, Aug 5, 2007 @ 10:12am

I dunno. All I got from church leaders in highschool was, “Don’t date non-members and be careful who your friends are.” It all came across very defensive and even a tich paranoid to me.

As a culture we seem to have a more isolationist view of the rest of the world. With the exception of the two years that we spend reaching out to the world. Then we return to our comfortable cocoon.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s not the long-tail result of the mob attacks.

MRKH

4. Bookslinger

Sun, Aug 5, 2007 @ 6:11pm

Who their children date, and who their children choose as friends are concerns of all parents. You eventually marry one of the people you date.

If you sincerely believe that the LDS church is God’s official church, and that gospel standards should dictate all areas of our lives, then marrying outside of the church should be a rare exception. The apostle Paul mentioned something like “don’t be unequally yoked with non-believers.”

And you pick up influences from your friends, both good and bad. Hopwever, it’s an unwise shortcut for parents to think that members = good, and non-members = bad. There are people who are bad influences in the church, and plenty of people out of the church who are good influences.

5. DKL

Sun, Aug 5, 2007 @ 10:20pm

Bookslinger, I agree. Standards are much more important than church membership. It’s better for Mormon kids to date non-Mormons with good standards than to date Mormons with bad standards.

We had a fireside recently about dating. We had three couples as a panel, and the youth asked questions. The first question was, “Is it OK to date non-Mormons.” The stake patriarch and his wife were members of the panel. When this question came up, she said, “Oh, my. Can I answer this one?” And she took the floor. Her answer was perfect, “I didn’t just date a non-Mormon. I married one.” While it’s unrealistic to suppose that all non-Mormon spouses will convert to Mormonism, it’s better to marry a standard-keeping non-Member than a jack Mormon of any stripe.

6. Mark Hansen

Mon, Aug 6, 2007 @ 12:26am

And part of the problem is the double message that the youth get. On the one hand, you’re taught to love and serve EVERYONE. But on the other hand, you can’t associate with them.

7. Sam B

Mon, Aug 6, 2007 @ 9:18am

Mark,
Where are you from? Because growing up in San Diego, there was neither the expectation nor the assumption that members wouldn’t associate with people of other faiths. Dating may have been a little more grey, although I don’t think it was. The first time most of my associations and friends were LDS was when I went to BYU.

I’ve heard the horror stories about non-LDS kids being ostracized in Utah; does that happen? Based on the people I know, I’d be surprised, but stranger things have happened.

8. Tom

Mon, Aug 6, 2007 @ 9:41am

Sam B.,
I would say that, yes, non-LDS kids in Utah are sometimes ostracized by LDS kids. But they are also accepted and befriended by many.

LDS kids are also ostracized by LDS and non-LDS kids for being LDS or for being goody-goody LDS. Kids in general find any reason to exclude and ostracize people.

And the same goes for adults. Utah has a lot of self righteous, rude Mormons and a lot of sneering, rude non-Mormons.

9. annegb

Mon, Aug 6, 2007 @ 7:35pm

I live right here in the heart of Mormon country, Cedar City. I don’t know what my leaders would say about this. I don’t have any problem with it. I think everybody has a right to their opinion, even if it doesn’t seem to bode well for us.

We have a born-again Christian family down the street, the parents left Mormonism and I suspect they have some hostility, although they’ve never shown it. I made a comment once about atoning for something awful I’d done and she corrected me. Correctly, she corrected me :).

This family is one of the nicest in our neighborhood and we love them. We’ve never had a conflict, nor would I mind if my granddaughter dated one of those boys.

A girl down the street left the church when she married a Catholic. Her mother made the comment the other day that she is her most religious child.

I think Mark’s right, although technically, of course, the rest of you are. You do marry who you date. That’s not always a bad thing.