Two years ago, I took the back road home, as is my custom and got behind a drunk driver.    When I first noticed him, he was driving down the left side of the road.  I slowed down, gave him room, and the benefit of the doubt.  It’s a country road and people are sometimes tourists.

 He abruptly swerved into the right lane for a few seconds, then back into the left lane with a car approaching.  He had room to get out of the way, but I called 911 on my cell at that point.  I thought it might be kids playing chicken or a drunk driver.

As I was calmly telling 911 where I was and describing the car, he abruptly swerved into the left lane for a couple of seconds and out, barely missing two cars coming at him.

 At that point, my conversation with 911 escalated to something like “Holy Shit!  He just almost hit two cars.  Oh, crap, you wouldn’t believe how close that was.  Oh my heck, he just almost caused a wreck.  Oh crap, I could have been killed!”  Something like that.

They talked me down and I continued to follow him down the road now determined to get his butt thrown in jail.  The road came to a T and he stopped several extra seconds.  I caught a glimpse of his face in his side mirror and my heart fell.

It looked like the executive secretary in our ward.  I just about died.  My experience took on a Twilight Zone experience at that point.  My conversation with the 911 operater evolved to “Oh no.  It looks like Bob Cook.  Oh, it can’t be Bob Cook.  If it is, I won’t testify against him.  Maybe he’s not drunk.  But if it’s him, you really need to check it out.  He needs to be cited.  But I can’t testify.  Oh, crap, I just narked off the executive secretary.  Oh, I’ll die if this is Bob.”

I said all this to the 911 operater.  As is my usual, I poured my heart out.  Geez.  What a soap opera.

The guy, to my relief, turned into a house next door to said Bob Cook (also retired from the sheriffs department).  I went on to my house, just about a mile down the same road.  A policeman came later and got my statement and said he was indeed very drunk.

Yesterday, almost two years later, the first hearing was held.   Of course, they don’t know me and know that I’m an onery gut and very honest–the defense, I mean.  But I told the truth and sparred with the defense attorney.  My testimony lasted, I would guess, a good 45 minutes.  They grilled me about distances (hell, I don’t know how far 50 yards is). 

 He brought up my statements about Bob Cook.  He said, “Do you remember saying that?”

I answered forthrightly and boldly, “Yes, I do!”

And he said, “Do you remember saying you didn’t want to testify if it was your ecclesiastical leader?”

Me: “Yep, I do remember that.  I did say that.”

He spent five minutes asking me how long I’d had my cell phone.  First he said “how long had you had the phone that you called in on that day?”

Misunderstanding, I replied, “All day.”

It took some time for him to make me understand that he wanted to know how long I’d been using cell phones and if I had any difficulty calling in the car.  I almost said, “what the hell has that got to do with your dumb shit drunken client?”

Oh, I forgot.  It was his third DUI.  He is intent on beating this rap and staying out of jail.  Plus, you guys, he’s 60 years old.  Isnt’ that pathetic?

I really got mad when the policeman got up.  They’re trying to get his testimony thrown out because he asked the guy if he’d been drinking before he read him his Miranda rights.  The guy said yes, he’d been drinking and said he’d had his last drink at the exact time he was pulling into his driveway.

What an absolute creep.  He was so drunk the jail made them take him to the hospital.  The guy asked what his alcohol level was and the doctor told him, in front of the cop, .18.  As the policeman described how drunk he was (he flunked every test he gave him), I got madder and madder.

They are trying to get the charge of driving in the left lane dropped because it was a country road and maybe he was driving there because it was smoother and maybe the cars were farther away than I’d figured.

They are trying to get the policeman’s testimony thrown out because of the Miranda ruling and the confidentiality of the doctor-patient relationship.

 Now.  This guy is guilty as hell.  Everybody there knew it.  He knows it.  No remorse.  He caused the state to pay the judge, the DA, the police, the building to get off on a crime he is guilty of.  He is probably going to postpone hearings for another couple of years, all the while still driving, probably drunk again.

The longer this goes on, the madder I’m getting.  This is not justice.  And, unless he sobers up completely, he will hurt somebody.  I hope it’s him.

Oh, another thing?  When he came into the courtroom, he was talking loudly to his attorney.  He said, “she didn’t even see that I had my grandkids in the car.  She can’t have seen all that good.”  His attorney shushed him, but I heard it clearly.

I think I’m just going to go over and slap him really really hard if he gets off on this.  And then I will go to jail.

He’s an inactive member of our ward who I never met or knew. I’m told he fights with his neighbors and that he was married to a woman I know. She divorced him because he beat her. He killed somebody’s dog and hung its body on a stop sign and the kids who owned the dog saw it when they came home on the bus.

LOL, I’m not making this guy up.

I guess we can pretty much count him out when we’re discussing which inactive members to fellowship. He’d probably shoot the missionaries.