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|Divorce: The continuing saga|
Sep. 9th, 2007 at 12:28 pm
I stepped outside yesterday to turn off the water on my flowers and looked up to seeÂ my son-in-lawÂ turn into our street.Â It was so good to see him.Â I just ran up and gave him a big hug.Â He is soÂ thin and tired looking, but he seems a lot more clear headed than my daughter.
Â I’ve been trying to keep in constant touch with him because he’s been so devastated.Â I’ve wanted to give him something to hang on to.Â I’ve promised him that he will get over this.Â He will feel better, he will love again.Â A solid promise that he will heal.
Â My childÂ has taken off her garments and is rejecting the church altogether.Â She said at first she was going to go to other churches, but I think she may have abandoned that plan also, especially when I pointed out to her that the commandments are the same in any religion.
Â She is blaming all this pain on the church and the people who encouraged her to get married.Â I also pointed out to her that had she not chosen to disregard the commandments, this wouldn’t have happened, either.
Â She had the right attitude, I think, when she first left, but now she’s pretty much off the deep end.Â She’s basically a good person, sweet, charming, and I have faith that in the end, she’ll do the right thing.Â I suspect, however, that she’s in for some rough times.
Â Nick’s parents have left the church, so he doesn’t have them to lean on.Â He’s remaining strong in the church and trying to strike up a friendship with Sarah outside of marriage.
The marriage is over.Â Â He went through a very angry stage, but now is resigned.Â He made the point, rightly so, thatÂ she just wasn’t committed.Â
Despite this, I believe thatÂ she made the right decision.Â The marriage should never have happened.Â They both have flaws and weaknesses and I don’t think they were good for each other.
Now, though, I’m more and more convinced that sin–not our insistence on marriage,Â orÂ a prematureÂ push to the temple–is responsible for a lot of hurt.Â They have been hurt, but so have we, so hasÂ his family.
HeÂ is more humble than she, realizing his fault, where he needs to change.Â She isÂ earning her “Princess Buttgold” moniker.Â She will not listen to reason and is determined toÂ experience all the fun she missed that our other children got to have–fun she seems to thinkÂ is her “rite of passage”, her rightÂ to disobey the commandments.
That would be drinking, running wild, I don’t know what all.Â That would beÂ a lotÂ of Â the other things my older children now realize were mistakes, mistakes that brought heartache into their lives rather than joy.
I have faith in God, faith inÂ her basic good nature and training, but I find this whole situation extremely sad.Â I’ve been divorced, as has Bill.Â This divorce that my child is going through brings on a whole different set of emotions.
This is the lesson:Â Sin affects everyone, not just the sinner.Â Sin brings pain.Â The commandments are not there to give God a good reason to smack us up the side of the head, or turn us away from those pearly gates, they are basically protective in nature.
Â Someday I hope my precious child will realize this.