I like what Quentin Cook said about being able to raise a family anywhere in the world. That means I don’t have to move back to Utah. Phew!

Elder Cook mentioned the “diversity” in the Bay Area in a positive sense. That’s probably a first in conference. (Technically, he was talking about the diversity of the members.)

I’m expecting a full-on firestorm about Julie Beck’s statement about motherhood.

I don’t know if there will be a firestorm about Julie Beck’s talk. I know that it made me uncomfortable (since I’m dealing with some difficulties with children and am easily persuaded that I really blew it in my motherly duties, particular that one about order). So I left the room where I was watching Conference and pulled up a talk my uncle John Groberg gave awhile ago.
http://speeches.byu.edu/reader/reader.php?id=6901
THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE. Right now in my life, I really need messages of hope and love and joy. I can go on the guilt trips without any prodding.

[...] It’s a beautiful cool, but sunny Sunday morning here in the heart of California’s Central Coast–or as we like to say–just another dull day in Paradise. The Fourth Session of Conference is about to begin, and I’m enjoying the Choir’s singing on Music and the Spoken Word. It’s a very calm and peaceful way to begin such a Sunday morning. For ‘nacle discussions of this morning’s session, see Times and Seasons, and Mormon Mentality. [...]

Speaking of coming up with something new to say everytime you speak, some make a better effort to do so than others. When I was in the MTC, Merrill Bateman came and spoke at a devotional and told a story about a disabled little girl. About a year later, I was on my mission in Japan when he was called into the area presidency in East Asia. He came to our mission and told the same story. A couple of years later, I was at BYU, and he became president of BYU. At his first devotional, he told the same story yet again. Don’t get me wrong– it was a great story. I just hoped to hear something new from the guy at some point.

I thought the distinction about there being a potential difference between having clean hands and a pure heart was pretty effective. I’ll have to go back and read the talk … but that was a nuanced but powerful approach to take on that subject.

Margaret, it often strikes me as strange that women in our church, perhaps our society, seem to have some special privilege to feel guilty.

If, for example, a man were to respond to the regular admonitions given to fathers by saying, “The last thing I need is another guilt trip,” my response would be, “Don’t be a wuss.”

It’s as though women are expected to feel inadequate, and everyone is supposed to coddle them when they do. Or perhaps ‘its that we imagine that there is some entitlement to feel like everything is just great, whether it is or not.

I don’t know that I agree with Sister Beck’s talk. I must admit to being a bit relieved that my daughters didn’t happen to be paying close attention. But surely we can disagree with her and stake out our own moral landscape regarding sex-based roles with confidence rather than insecurity. That’s one thing that no church authority can take away.

DKL–your response would work for me on another day. I am keeping my private life private, but my little family has been through hell this week. I think I could listen to Julie Beck’s talk another time and just take it at face value, realizing that it was not meant to accuse me or anyone else of anything. But I wonder how many other women have also had hellish weeks and were looking forward to Conference for solace. I wonder how many others decided to leave the room as her talk continued.

Women in the Church are socialized into feeling guilt. One of the great challenges in our future will be to undo that socializing, bolster sisterhood, and teach women how to move beyond self-condemnation to gratitude. Superlatives like “best homemakers” (which Sister Beck thinks Mormon women need to be–and which she also said in the RS Conference) create a sense of competition, and competition implies that some are winners and others are not. (So are the non-winners failures?) And when her standards for “the best” mention all of the traditional homemaking skills rather than what we really aim for–a perfect love for and from Christ which empowers our efforts, soothes our pains, and makes our inadequacies sufficient–somebody’s got the wrong manual.

I don’t actually think you would see a man who was in pain and tell him, “Don’t be a wuss.” I think you’d recognize what he actually needed. Unkind words wouldn’t do it.

Nicely put Margaret. I’m sorry your family had such a rough week.

A lot of people are encouraging each other to “take Sis. Beck’s words in the right spirit,” and such. There definitely is truth to that, but often a speaker’s tone and choice of words makes it significantly more difficult than it needs to be. And I know, I say that as the staunchest defender of Boyd K. Packer in the bloggernacle.
I am really hoping Sis. Beck gets some thoughtful letters to help her understand this; I think she means well, but she is inadvertently turning off a lot of people.

I like almost everything Elder Hales said about personal revelation. But I’m not sure his definition of what constitutes a miracle is very helpful (or accurate). He said that miracles are most often spiritual assuances of things, answers to prayers, etc. But doesn’t this water-down the definition of miracle to include almost everything? And if everything is a miracle, essentially nothing is a miracle. Usually spiritual assuances are just that– spiritual assuances. I don’t think it makes them any less important or meaningful by not calling them miracles.

With the significant population of members in Latin America, it’s good to see more Latin American GAs speaking.

Another Latin American! Amazing! Does anyone have a count on this?

Elder Tenorio is really funny guy. He spoke at our Stake General Conference along with Elder Nelson.

Elder Callister said that truth doesn’t depend on how many people know it. Reminds me of a small rural village we visited once in Zimbabwe. There was a small branch of the Church there, meeting in a two-room house, with a sheet hanging in the window on which they had painted “The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.” I’ll never forget a simple phrase of the branch president: “We are not many, but we have the truth.” Of course, I guess the Branch Davidians probably say the same thing.

Hey… speaking of Africa. Elder Snow spoke at our branch in Uganda several years ago.

I wonder how applicable the data on family time Elder Oaks cites is to countries other than the US. I think many other cultures do a lot better with family meals than the US. I’d be interested to know if the decline of family time is a worldwide trend.

Oaks just sited the song (and album) by Roger Waters “Amused to Death,” which sites idleness and its accompanying frivolity as the end of humanity? Does that mean that he’s a Pink Floyd fan? If so, is it safe to conclude that he sides on the Roger Waters side in the dispute between him and David Gilmour?

He also just stated that the curriculum materials are inspired. Hmmm.

Oaks has also quoted John Lennon in a previous Conference (although did not cite him). He must be a Beatles and Floyd fan. I like that.

Has anyone read the new Joseph Smith Manuel? I hear there are some subjects brought up in there that will foster openness.

“This episode had me kind of imagining what it would be like if the Quorum of the Twelve had some kind of traditional prank they pull on a new member.”

One of the current apostles (Bednar?) once said in general conference that the newest apostle has to give the lesson at his first weekly quorum meeting.

Another inside thing might be coming up with a way that he would eat a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

I think that it’s worth noting that one member of the General Relief Society Presidency is a single woman who has never had children (would anyone care to speculate what her reaction to the talk was?). The other is Costa Rican. I think that Sister Beck may be less out of touch than many people are assuming.

What if God came down to the world to tell us His plan, and gave us commandments, and everyone hated His words, and they killed Him?