Comments on: What’s in a Name? http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm Thoughts and Asides by Peculiar People Fri, 30 Jul 2010 07:54:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: ladybug http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78631 ladybug Wed, 05 Mar 2008 19:39:40 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78631 my 2 cents: I am getting married this September at the age of 35. I am keeping my maiden name and adding his name. I have X for 35 years and I am not giving up that part of my identity. It helps that my fiance thinks that taking his name is shouting "I own you". Also, when my younger sister gradutated from college she had just gotten married. She graduated with her married name and my mom was abit put out as it was not my sister's husband (or his famiy name) that had put her through college but my parents. The funny thing is that a woman keeping her maiden name is still under the male hiearachy as that is her FATHERS name not her mothers. Not really feminist in the leteral sense if you think about it. my 2 cents: I am getting married this September at the age of 35. I am keeping my maiden name and adding his name. I have X for 35 years and I am not giving up that part of my identity. It helps that my fiance thinks that taking his name is shouting “I own you”.

Also, when my younger sister gradutated from college she had just gotten married. She graduated with her married name and my mom was abit put out as it was not my sister’s husband (or his famiy name) that had put her through college but my parents.

The funny thing is that a woman keeping her maiden name is still under the male hiearachy as that is her FATHERS name not her mothers. Not really feminist in the leteral sense if you think about it.

]]> By: cchrissyy http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78377 cchrissyy Sun, 02 Mar 2008 06:39:03 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78377 I wish I'd arrived sooner! Like Devyn's wife way above, I am undertaking the legal buerocracy to change my name BACK to my maiden name. I've been married 7 years, have 3 kids, and this is not about selfishness or disunity, it is becuase 1) I never liked his last name, I never changed my signature 2) I felt pressure to change it so we'd "match" but now I just don't see the value in that 3) the name I still identify with so strongly is from my proud national heritage and I am pained to have lost it from my name. I wish I’d arrived sooner! Like Devyn’s wife way above, I am undertaking the legal buerocracy to change my name BACK to my maiden name.

I’ve been married 7 years, have 3 kids, and this is not about selfishness or disunity, it is becuase
1) I never liked his last name, I never changed my signature
2) I felt pressure to change it so we’d “match” but now I just don’t see the value in that
3) the name I still identify with so strongly is from my proud national heritage and I am pained to have lost it from my name.

]]> By: annegb http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78310 annegb Fri, 29 Feb 2008 18:07:04 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78310 Um, Bbell? Ann Osborn DIDN't keep her maiden name. Um, Bbell? Ann Osborn DIDN’t keep her maiden name.

]]> By: queuno http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78269 queuno Fri, 29 Feb 2008 05:41:08 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78269 In other news, my wife reminds me that my last name is an <i>extremely</i> vulgar slang term in Dublin. I guess I should have taken her extremely respectable Irish surname. But, I didn't want to change my name. And she didn't have to either. But she did anyway. And it was her choice, not the patriarchy's. Of course, that makes her less of a feminist, I guess. In other news, my wife reminds me that my last name is an extremely vulgar slang term in Dublin. I guess I should have taken her extremely respectable Irish surname. But, I didn’t want to change my name. And she didn’t have to either. But she did anyway. And it was her choice, not the patriarchy’s. Of course, that makes her less of a feminist, I guess.

]]> By: Proud Daughter of Eve http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78256 Proud Daughter of Eve Fri, 29 Feb 2008 00:27:03 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78256 Z, I don't even know what you're talking about anymore and I would appreciate it if you would back off. Can you even grasp the irony here? You, clearly a hard-core feminist, are flipping out because I don't march lock step with you. I thought feminism was about choice and freedom. A question was asked about my impressions and opinions and I gave it. I did not say "all maiden-name-keepers are selfish snots who are going to divorce and go to hell." I said such people don't strike me as very committed to the unit. It's no more skin off their nose than it is skin off of mine when people like you assume that, because I changed my name, I'm some oppressed and deluded. Z, I don’t even know what you’re talking about anymore and I would appreciate it if you would back off. Can you even grasp the irony here? You, clearly a hard-core feminist, are flipping out because I don’t march lock step with you. I thought feminism was about choice and freedom. A question was asked about my impressions and opinions and I gave it. I did not say “all maiden-name-keepers are selfish snots who are going to divorce and go to hell.” I said such people don’t strike me as very committed to the unit. It’s no more skin off their nose than it is skin off of mine when people like you assume that, because I changed my name, I’m some oppressed and deluded.

]]> By: CatherineWO http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78253 CatherineWO Thu, 28 Feb 2008 23:00:46 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78253 If indeed some members, who don't fit the "cultural" norm, become inactive, perhaps it is because they have been rejected by the group, not because they don't believe the doctrine. From the statements made, it appears that this could be the case in Western US Mormon culture, i.e. Utah/Idaho/Arizona. Since I have lived outside of that culture all of my adult life (always, however, as an active member), I have not had the same experience, at least when it comes to a woman's name, and this whole discussion is bizzare to me. If indeed some members, who don’t fit the “cultural” norm, become inactive, perhaps it is because they have been rejected by the group, not because they don’t believe the doctrine. From the statements made, it appears that this could be the case in Western US Mormon culture, i.e. Utah/Idaho/Arizona. Since I have lived outside of that culture all of my adult life (always, however, as an active member), I have not had the same experience, at least when it comes to a woman’s name, and this whole discussion is bizzare to me.

]]> By: colleen http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78252 colleen Thu, 28 Feb 2008 22:43:54 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78252 good heavens, what a tempest in a teapot. i'm a liberal. i'm semi-feminist. i'm also happily temple married (13 years now) and have been active in the church all my life. i'm primary chorister right now. you catch your breath and get a drink of water now if you need to. guess what? i'm anecdotal, too! i wanted to keep my name. it's a rare name, a name i'm proud of, a name i shared with some really cool people. i know my family's history, grew up learning their names, they shaped me and molded me and i think they're fantastic. i really didn't want to take my husband's extremely common and semi-anonymous last name. so when i floated the idea to him, i was unprepared for the look of hurt that would result. we were so young, and so in love, that i did it for him. i did offer him my name, but bless his heart i knew he was too traditional to take me up on it. i agree there are very practical reasons why dual names don't work well. One name makes everything less complicated, and i like things to be less complicated. but the facts are that even though i gave up my cool maiden name, i still mostly run the show around here. i'm not dominated. it was a minor sacrifice i made for love - and not for anybody's ridiculous ideas about badges or conformity or other falderal. bah phooey. good heavens, what a tempest in a teapot.

i’m a liberal. i’m semi-feminist. i’m also happily temple married (13 years now) and have been active in the church all my life. i’m primary chorister right now. you catch your breath and get a drink of water now if you need to. guess what? i’m anecdotal, too!

i wanted to keep my name. it’s a rare name, a name i’m proud of, a name i shared with some really cool people. i know my family’s history, grew up learning their names, they shaped me and molded me and i think they’re fantastic. i really didn’t want to take my husband’s extremely common and semi-anonymous last name. so when i floated the idea to him, i was unprepared for the look of hurt that would result. we were so young, and so in love, that i did it for him. i did offer him my name, but bless his heart i knew he was too traditional to take me up on it.

i agree there are very practical reasons why dual names don’t work well. One name makes everything less complicated, and i like things to be less complicated. but the facts are that even though i gave up my cool maiden name, i still mostly run the show around here. i’m not dominated. it was a minor sacrifice i made for love – and not for anybody’s ridiculous ideas about badges or conformity or other falderal. bah phooey.

]]> By: Mark IV http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78242 Mark IV Thu, 28 Feb 2008 20:26:39 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78242 bbell, LOL! If I may, I'd like to restate your comment #47: "So what if Osborn's actions contradict my observations! Damn the facts, full speed ahead!" It has been my observation, over a couple of decades and multiple wards and stakes (although I've never spent time discussing this in council meetings), that men who wear bolo ties to church always go inactive. What creepy things may we deduce about the state of their souls from their failure to follow the cultural norm? What sort of pressures should we bring to bear in order ensure that they get with the program? bbell, LOL! If I may, I’d like to restate your comment #47:

“So what if Osborn’s actions contradict my observations! Damn the facts, full speed ahead!”

It has been my observation, over a couple of decades and multiple wards and stakes (although I’ve never spent time discussing this in council meetings), that men who wear bolo ties to church always go inactive. What creepy things may we deduce about the state of their souls from their failure to follow the cultural norm? What sort of pressures should we bring to bear in order ensure that they get with the program?

]]> By: KyleM http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-2#comment-78241 KyleM Thu, 28 Feb 2008 19:56:07 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78241 ESO, you are correct. Rosa Parks only wanted to sit down on the bus without having to walk all the way into the back. I believe I read somewhere that she just wanted to be left alone. For attitudes to change, the gauntlet has to be thrown down whether intentionally or not. ESO, you are correct. Rosa Parks only wanted to sit down on the bus without having to walk all the way into the back. I believe I read somewhere that she just wanted to be left alone.

For attitudes to change, the gauntlet has to be thrown down whether intentionally or not.

]]> By: ESO http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm/comment-page-1#comment-78235 ESO Thu, 28 Feb 2008 19:00:32 +0000 http://www.mormonmentality.org/2008/02/27/whats-in-a-name.htm#comment-78235 KyleM--I think what you say is largely applicable. I would only point out that, for the most part, people make their name choices for personal reasons and not to throw down the gauntlet in the cultural hall. KyleM–I think what you say is largely applicable. I would only point out that, for the most part, people make their name choices for personal reasons and not to throw down the gauntlet in the cultural hall.

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