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Not only should he attend BYU, but he should be Cosmo as well. And have supernatural backflip powers. |
Summer job options: APX Alarm Systems, Pest Control, or Dish Network. |
I thought DKL was the Anti-Christ. |
I think he goes to BYU and rises to the presidency of BYUSA (the student association), wielding the mighty power of meek suggestion that characterizes that role. His inherent evil manifests itself in his discomfort with shaving and knee-length shorts, and his nudity in the men’s locker room. |
Can he be played by Christopher Walken? |
Just as long as his name is not Nicholas and he’s not from Romania. Then I’m cool and on this project. |
Oh and my middle name is Nicolae, and I was born in Transylvania. |
The movie September Dawn more or less made an LDS bishop look like the anti-Christ. Especially apt is the scene where Jon Voight (the LDS bishop) leads a gathering of priesthood holders in a chant of “Blood atonement! Blood atonement! Blood atonement!” You know, ’cause that what Mormons are all about– blood atonement. |
I think we need more chanting in sacrament meeting. |
OK, I’m going to be giggling (in a manly way) over that image for the rest of the evening. Now the real question: does he get an MBA (from the Marriott School) or a JD (from the Reuben Clark Law School)? Or maybe both? ..bruce.. |
Undergrad degree suggestions? It’s been 20+ years since I’ve been on campus — what’s the ASBYU Prez likely to major in? ..bruce.. |
bruce - the ASBYU pres still doesn’t major in anything science- or engineering- or math-related (you know, the useful fields). He majors in International Relations, with a minor in whatever language he spoke on his mission, with an eye toward becoming a professional minister for the Church (i.e., teach seminary for CES). |
If he wants to work for CES (er, um, SIR) he’ll major in PE. |
I think the anti-Christ would definitely be one of those guys who does the combo MBA/JD program. And I dearly hope he proposes while walking around the Provo Temple with something like “I know we just met on Monday at FHE, but I have prayed about it and have received revelation that you should be my wife. Will you marry me on December 19th, as soon as your semester is over? You don’t really like Helaman Halls anyway, and you can change your major to Family, Home, and Marriage and have a baby before you are even 19! I know your Patriarchal Blessing talks about serving a mission in your youth, but this could be a kind of mission, too, and I am sure you will still be youthful when I am called as a Mission President, and sometimes Patriarchs are just wrong. Ask my religion professor–we talked about it today.” |
This could be his third proposal since the semester began. It is still September. |
Nah, the guys who do the JD/MBA program all drive Volvos and date Mormon supermodels. They’d never be caught dead with a 19-year freshman behind the temple. Come to think of it … the Mormon anti-Christ would *have* to have a JD/MBA and have a hot wife who blogged at FMH… |
His mission goal was not to bring people to Christ but to secure a place with the elite in the mission office. |
I think this is a Stephanie Meyers project waiting to happen. There should be no sex in the story - but lots of sexual tension. And no, I haven’t read the Meyers books - but I have read about them. My wife is a huge fan. |
He probably wrote a best-selling book of some kind. |
Yes, but a book that repackages Gospel teaching as the key to success in life, authored by himself (ghostwritten), with no works cited. |
That book reads like a FranklinCovey seminar. |
So would Sacrament water have a different effect on him? Oh maybe burn him…. I know… I know… he is not Dracula but it could happen…. We could give him a name like Ted Bundy or someone similar. |
You sure you want him to work for Marriott? Shouldn’t he start a juice/MLM company? |
He works for Nuskin after completing his MBA/JD, he was never AP but tried tried tried. He wears penny loafers with his jeans He cries at Michael McClain concerts |
The anti-christ doesn’t cry. He fakes sincerity, though, and his MLM is an official sponsor of the Stadium of Fire in Provo. |
Brigham Lee Monson |
He cries at the right moments on his dates in order to accomplish a NCMO |
He was also dear johned on his mission when his 19 year old girlfriend met the youngest son of a GA who was 29 and in his last year of medical school married his hot girlfriend |
No, I’ll still argue that he works for Marriott. This allows him to move into the Potomac Ward in the Washington DC Stake and later run for High Office. Remember, folks, this is the Anti-Christ. He’s destined to be the first LDS UN Secretary-General and will attempt to institute a New World Order. (Also note that he’s likely to be ‘cultural’ or ’secular LDS’ by that point; this is the Anti-Christ, after all.) And would the Anti-Christ cry at Michael McLean concerts? Except out of pain? ..bruce.. |
bruce, What better way to utilize the UN than to use it as a way to gain access to new markets for Xango? I hear that Xango is going to be huge in Somalia and North Korea! |
He runs a campaign to become bishop. |
Can he please have a side career as a conservative talk show host, even if only one in a smallish local market? |
He gets a quaver in his voice and brushes something from his eye every time he says the phrase “I’ll always remember something my mission president told me when I became AP . . .” In order to fit in, he wears BYU football t-shirts with knee-length khaki snorts. With an inch of garment peeking out at the bottom. |
favorite vehicle? a Hummer? |
Really Really really loves hunting for “sport” |
“Put the dog down Brigham.” gives me shivers… |
He believes that righteousness is measured in jetskis. |
Oh I have to agree with Guy on this one, he does own a Hummer, not an H2 or 3… it is a full fledged Military issued Hummer, for those ‘sports’ outings and it does not run on Natural gas because he is a conservative and knows for a fact that “Global Warming” is leftwing conspiracy propaganda… Or is he really left playing right…? hmmmm |
There are probably 2 paths to becoming the Anti-christ. Right wing: CEO type takes over the world with money and creates a world gov. Left wing: NGO lefty type who takes over the UN while singing Kumbaya and creates a world gov. Our guy since he is LDS probably goes right. |