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He should not have corrected her; it would have been funner for him to leave his wife’s testimony as-is, and see what kind of rumors emerge about what was wrong with his humdingers. |
“It was my sternum!” That’s what they all say. |
We had one sister get up to “bear her testimony” and she began rambling on about this or that occurrence in her life. One time, she was mad at her son’s friend who had come over and she chased him outside, found a dead raccoon on the street, picked it up and used it to bash her son’s friend’s car. She later took her 13 year old daughter and her best friend around town trying to find the best places to leave raw meat for the birds to eat, because she saw the birds, like the hawks, and felt terrible that they were starving. So they placed a piece of raw meat on a sign on the freeway! |
Thanks Jeff, |
Baptizing cats – such blasphemy. |
I should have added bless her heart. sorry. |
Oh man! |
The bishopric visibly stiffens and is prepared to move quickly when a certain, not all there mentally, sister gets up. She has in the past born her testimony of Satan and stripped her upper torso at the pulpit. Makes for some interesting times. I like the little snippets of faith promoting stories. One sister in our ward has a very hard time with the English language, so she wrote out her testimony and read it over the pulpit. I can do without the 19 minute lectures/babblings that have no point. |
When Benedict XVI was ordained, we had a sister give a pope-imony in our ward. Classic. |
This one I personally witnessed. When one is crying and embarassed about it, there is an old saying, “my eyes are to close to my bladder” that is used by old timers. Many people have not heard it (such as young people in a congregation). An old rancher in our SE Idaho ward, a super guy, got up and instead of using that phrase used this phrase about three times, “my eyes are to close to my balls”. What was especially funny is that most had never heard the old phrase and each time he repeated it, it carried more punch. I have no idea what his comment means…. |
Y’all need to be checking out this thead (started in 2007, still going): |
I think the best I have heard is when a new move-in got up to bear his testimony–he started off great, talking about Jesus Christ and the atonement, which really got my attention. But he kept on talking about all the great parts of the gospel, and included his excitement about being able to and go colonize other planets. I just hope there weren’t any investigators there that week. |
That’s hysterical, Jeff. In my ward, an really old guy got up and bore his testimony about how proud he was to have dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. I don’t know whether he was a veteran, but he certainly was not involved in the mission — you can look up all the names of the soldiers involved in that mission on the internet. After the meeting, several Aaronic priesthood holders went up to him and thanked him for his service to our country. |
That is classic – thanks for the laugh – I too enjoy the testimony meeting in all its glory… |
The Pope is not “ordained.” He is elected. |
I don’t care much for the F&T meeting. In a previous wrd it seemed to serve mostly as a platform for the mentally ill. In the current ward it is occasionally inspirational but mostly just boring. I think I miss the crazies. |
I’ve heard that story, but it sure is worth re-telling. What I heard was he got up and said, “I have just one word for my wife. The word is….Sternum!” I heard it brought down the house, but maybe the story grew in the re-telling. You know, I just love that woman, she made my day the day I heard it and how much happiness her ditziness has brought into the lives of us Mormons, we’ll never know. JA Benson, That cracked me up…..I wonder how that went for her and the cats….sure wish it was on video :) |
Anne, I don’t know the details, but am sure that those cats put up a noble fight!!:) |
annegb: welcome back. By the way, check out this advertising flyer from Target that appeared Did this appear in Utah too? |
I don’t know, I never read the ads. But, fetching used to be an adjective meaning beautiful or wonderful, I believe. I’ve read things that describe a woman as fetching, meaning lovely. I think it’s kind of funny that Mormons will read it and think it’s a euphemism for a bad word :) |
Yes, thanks for reminding me of the non-Mormon meaning of “fetching.” The advertisement I photographed was for cat and dog pet products. So in that context it was a play on words. |