Good post. Thanks for referencing that article and those comments.

I think you’ll take some heat for comparing Twilight to porn, but I think you’ve made a pretty good case, at least if we limit the comparison to “creating unrealistic expectations” and the intoxicating way porn (for men) and/or Twilight-ish love stories (for women) can be an addictive way of escaping normal (and often painful) life.

I think some degree of “fantasy,” both shared with one’s spouse, and alone, is healthy for both the individual and the marriage. Like anything, the line that separates normal/healthy and abnormal/unhealthy is grey, difficult to dilineate, and different for everyone.

My wife read the Twilight series, and for the few weeks she was hooked by its “fangs,” I noticed a visceral difference in her eyes when she talked about it. Her face was more animated, her cheeks more flush. It was obvious the story had got her “motor running.” But I didn’t feel threatened by it (quite the opposite, actually), and never felt like her interest crossed the line. If anything, I felt like it enhanced her life, and our relationship. I could related to her little “fantasy,” and was happy for her. It amused me, actually.

Now had her interest in Twilight bled over into other romance/sex books, to the point that that was all she read… to the point that she wasted time that would have been better spent with her family or any number of more worthwhile activities… to the point that she started withdrawing from me, or having unreal expectations about what kind of man I was suppossed to be… well, then she would have clearly crossed the line.

By the way, I read about 100 pages of the first book. I’d guess my reaction was what many women feel when they look at porn: “Ugh… you mean that really turns you on?”

I have read all of the Stephenie Meyers books currently published and enjoyed them but I don’t know if they qualify as “romance novels” in the same vein as those published by Harlequin. In those books, the main story really is all about the sex. In the Twilight series, the sexual component is only a side story. The Twilight series is marketed as a young adult series because while there is sexual tension, there is no sex that actually takes place in the books.

I enjoyed these books but I had no idea other women were having such a fierce reaction to them. I would say that any fiction, regardless of the format (movie, book, computer, etc.), that causes you to react in such a way that you’re displacing your real life relationships and emotions is not a good thing. I recently read the 5th book in Chris Stewart’s The Great and Terrible and had a difficult time putting it down to attend to my family. This is a fabulous series without any sexual elements involved but if it interferes with my jobs as a mother and wife, I need to re-evaluate how I am spending my time.

I do have to say I think Gail Collins is wrong on one point. She writes, “But as much as he adores her, he won’t have sex with her because he worries he might kill her with his superstrength [sic] in the heat of the moment.” This is only one explanation Edward gives to Bella in the book but he is also very much against sexual relations without marriage. He feels it is immoral to engage in physical relations with Bella until she is legally his wife. Not a large sticking point but the moral element is definitely a large portion of what holds this vampire/man back.

ESO I had no idea BYU has romance novels in the library. How funny. My mother used to read them when I was young but then the prophet (Spencer W. Kimball, maybe?) warned against it and she quit. It amazes me how many women my own age still watch soap operas even though they would never dream of picking up a Harlequin.

I couldn’t make it through the first one, the writing was so dreadful. I just don’t get the fascination.

Anxious,
My wife has the same problem with Bella, and can’t stand the thought of our daughter ever falling in love with the idea of throwing her life away over a stupid infatuation the way Bella seems set on doing, all the while not wanting to be judged as “one of those girls” by getting married as a teenager. I have to agree that this is a weakness. Her self esteem is ridiculously low and her self image is distorted beyond belief.
However, Edward and Jacob both exhibit traits that our deluded culture want to believe doesn’t exist. Fidelity, consideration, compassion, should be encouraged. I don’t think you could really call this a bad thing, except of course that the wrong audience is getting the message. They are at least much more about character than the flawless body impossible nymphomaniac ideal of pornography that ends up being more object than person. Bella herself is pathetic but somehow she keeps finding these tragically monstrified keepers. I happen to see repackaging men as something other than the feckless animal they are made out to be by our media can only be a good thing. I just wish a way could be found to do it without diminishing the girl so much at the same time.

Okay – I feel like I need to defend Bella. I do not find her “helpless, needy and unable to take care of herself.”

I related totally to Bella. Bella is a klutz. She admits as much in the first few chapters of the book. She is totally uncoordinated. She also wants to be independent and sometimes those two traits clash big time. I know from experience. I am very klutzy. I worked in a restaurant and I cannot tell you how many times I slipped and fell or dropped things. That is what happens when your are uncoordinated.

I still want to be independent and do things for myself, but sometimes being klutzy and independent (or stubborn as my husband would say) do not go together. I was serving at a funeral and needed to get a HUGE punch bowl into the cultural hall. I was in a hurry so I carried it from the kitchen by myself. As soon as my husband saw me he tried to stop me which insulted me because I want to do things by myself. Well, sure enough, right before I got to the table to put the punch bowel down I was startled by someone and tipped the punch bowel which slopped all over the floor. I obviously should have had my husband do it, but I wanted to be independent and not have to ask someone else for help. It gets me into trouble all the time.

My husband read Twilight after I did and he could see Bella in me down to the big Jane Austen book which I had bought as a Christmas present for myself the year before. He saw her as very independent, but limited by her physical nature. Sorry, but some of us were not born to be tall and athletic. I think a lot of girls liked that she was not perfect and had physical limitations and insecurities. They can relate to that.

Thank you to both Klutz and bfwebster for stating, far better than I was able to with a toddler pulling on my leg, my thoughts regarding the Twilight series.

bfwebster You wrote: “Are there some LDS women having inappropriate thoughts and reactions to the ‘Twilight’ series? Well, yes, it sounds like it. But then again, I could probably get the same answer to the generic statement, ‘Are there LDS [sex/age group] having inappropriate thoughts and reactions to [some particular series/film/music/whatever]?’” You stated my thoughts beautifully.

We need to remember that these books are works of fiction and were not published by Deseret. While the vampire element in the Twilight series might bother some, there are a lot of very good messages and elements of reality in the books.

Personally, I remember feeling just as lost as Bella when I was 17. I wanted everything I couldn’t have and had a difficult time holding myself to the moral standard in which I believed. I think young women should know that feeling these emotions and strong urges is normal and it’s possible to resist them. So very often I feel we send our girls the message that only boys become interested in sex before marriage when often times the girls are struggling, too. How nice to see a relatable character who is vulnerable and striving to be a good person but not sure how to do that.

On a somewhat related note… If anyone is interested in Stephenie Meyer’s newest book, The Host, there’s an interesting element of the law of consecration portrayed in the book. Of course, there’s also alien abductions and implantations into humans. So if you don’t like vampires and aren’t into aliens, it may not quite be your thing.

So very often I feel we send our girls the message that only boys become interested in sex before marriage when often times the girls are struggling, too.

The second-highest compliment I have ever received was from a non-LDS college freshman, Nancy. She and I met as counselors at a music camp in the San Bernardino Mountains in California and struck up a summer romance, which faded away as we both went off our our respective colleges. Nancy told me at one point during our dating how safe she felt with me — how honorable I was in my behavior towards her, and how much she appreciated that I set all the limits (and set them appropriately, by LDS standards) on physical affection — even when she wouldn’t have minded going beyond those bounds.

All single women should feel safe with LDS men, young or old. In my opinion, it is very much the responsibility of the man to set and maintain appropriate boundaries. ..bruce..

P.S. OK, the highest compliment was when my wife Sandra agreed to marry me.

Bruce, it’s true there is nothing salacious in these books, and yes, there are all kinds of movies out nowadays that portray characters in ways that arouse the passions in both genders. But I don’t think I have seen people obsess over movie characters the way women are obsessing over Edward. Another comment from the twilightmoms forum:

Reading these books put me into the strangest sort of funk I think I’ve ever been in, which included me questioning my love for my husband and my marriage.

My wife likes Matt Damon a lot, but watching the Bourne series doesn’t actually cause her to question our marriage. I think Stephenie Myers approached these books with the best of intentions, creating a character that is an example of honorable manhood, but for some reason a lot of women are affected by Edward in the same way as pornography, developing really unhealthy attitudes about their spouses.
I guess the biggest irony in this is that women who fawn over Edward’s complete emotional fidelity to Bella, are having a hard time keeping emotional fidelity to their spouses due to their fantasies about a fictional vampire. I wonder if they would respond to him in the same way if she had written him as being very average-looking, maybe with a little bit of a gut.

Well, women are turned on by men in uniforms, so I think he might have been trying to make something that appeals to women on that level, or that appeals to the well-known gay crush on missionaries.

Was he really excommunicated for that calendar? That sounds mythical to me.

Doc, you’re absolutely right, except he’s also physically perfect. Note the excerpt cited by Gail Collins:

“He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare … A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.”

You combine this imagery with all of his perfect gentlemanliness, his wealth, his superpowers, and his adoring loyalty to girl-next-door Bella, and you have a recipe for housewives losing interest in their husbands.

Would you also say that any husband who is losing interest in his wife over any fictional pornographic representation already had problems in his marriage?

Is the “air-brushed instant availability” temptation only risky to those already unsatisfied with their spouse in some way?

I don’t believe either of those questions is correctly answered in the affirmative. And that’s why I disagree with #22.

I would agree that the two are not equivalent. Not even close – for a variety of reasons. But they are related. I believe both can sew the seeds that lead to real problems within relationships. I have had to counsel more than one young couple who brought completely unrealistic expectations into marriage. The men typically brought expectations developed through exposure to pornography (simplifying). The women typically brought expectations developed through exposure to romantic comedies and Disney cartoons (simplifying). That’s what I was trying to say. And both of those can and do work their way into couples that started off just fine. If not dealt with, that’s when the real damage can happen with regards to focusing on fictional characters to the detriment of the real relationship.

thanks for the post. i’ve been telling my wife its emotional porn since the first time she started reading the books.

My wife read all these books and loved them. I can’t bring myself to even try and read them.

I read a comment somewhere that these books were “full of sexual tension but no sex.” That sounded like it hit the bulls-eye.

If I’m less than interested in the books, I’m actually quite glad that a woman graduate from BYU is having all this success. Good for her.

Oh, and I agree with danithew that it’s nice to see a female BYU graduate-and I’ll add stay-at-home mom-find such success. It’s actually one of the reasons I picked up the first book of hers even though I wasn’t sure it was really my kind of fiction.

I don’t even want to look! I was somewhat disgusted with the adult forum. I can only imagine the swooning taking place with the teens!

Answer #2 is hilarious:

http://theboard.byu.edu/?area=viewall&id=44374

Thanks Dan. What I was trying to say in a comment (that I think was mercifully caught in moderation) was that while I don’t personally like Twilight, I don’t think it’s responsible for that particular brand of crazy. That kind of crazy just IS, and it existed long before Twilight did. There are forums just like that for Pride and Prejudice. All hail the internet.

Hi hansengirl,
The only comparison I’ll make is the statement that Twilight has the same effect on some women as does porn on men. There are a lot of women and girls out there who are reading these books and becoming sexually aroused while thinking about someone other than their spouse, and many women respond to this very compulsively, the same way men respond to porn. It’s absolutely true that they are not the same in content, but I maintain that they are similar in their effects. I’m certain this is not what Stephenie Myers intended for her readers, but it’s happening.

OK. I’ll be short and sweet (actually I’ve told my story here) about my experience as a Mormon husband with being married to one of the recent past administrators of twilightmoms.com. My wife was one of the leads and is still very much on the ‘in’ with the lead administrators over there. My wife is a gem of a wife, molly Mormon type, a little naive when it comes to outside threats, but this has amped it up and put it on steroids. The owner of Twilightmoms.com, Lisa, used her influence early on to allow ‘soft porn’ in my book, hotties in theirs, to “creep” on to their sight (courteousy of the Twilight series to include private confession that Stephanie Meyer also has her own secret stash of hotties). This was spawned and encouraged, by most of the leads and it was later renamed the ‘Sigh and Swoon’ or S&S forum and put in the basement, only to be accessed by submitting passage for a user name and password. To mark the change of how it was dealt with, to include separating the main forum to be cleaner… and I say this as blatant and sincere as possible, to be cleaned up only somewhat, as was brave their assertations toward “no harm in this” as is what is “Kingly” worshiped and adored. Can’t remember the exact timing, but some of this came in the wake of when they kind of mingled up at woman’s conference (our values being touted no doubt, even as I began to wonder along the incessant way, if it was me). Chief among the “legal, proper and NOT moral” ramifications… the ideas peripherally swimming about containment issues (NOT TO MENTION HUSBANDS oooooo, aaaaahhhhhhhh, yes!)to include Google Ads, that would pop-up adds of a pornographic nature. Now, prior to “GOING [run, remember Edward fantasies] FOR the basement”… my wife reported Lisa kind of mumbling under her breath (from up at Woman’s Conference and breakfast with Stephanie Meyer), but remember, perhaps just to my wife (whom if it wasn’t for the fact of adoring her), that she’s sorry she’s had it (hotties) on there. But you have to realize the struggle, IF ONLY FOR REAL, TANGIBLE…. OTHERWISE DECISIVENESS… AS ONE OF HER LEADERSHIP QUALITIES…, that her past involves being the queen of putting pin-ups in her high school locker.

But for me then at that time, when she said this to my wife, but “on the record”, my wife and I did celebrate(***) of what we now knew was going to be and end to the hotties (this was prior to the “run” and I mean boldness “running” to the basement concept). You’ll remember King Noah was able to go back on it however WITH those others. But hold off for a second… peace again in an otherwise ‘on the brink worn down’ marriage, ironically even though my wife did by in large, keep herself pure. What a huge roller coaster ride THAT was— a big KNOT or NOT!!! Basement time!!!:-) But not my wife. She truly was not into it, but I was paranoid knowing full well that a lot of this HAS influenced her. Indeed, but I am comparing after all of it, that what I have tipped the scales on to say, the equivalent of hanging out in the bar, while sipping pink lemonade. Even after meeting with the Bishop one time, where my wife had, had enough and me also feeling better because my Bishop is a very, very loving man that saved us there… but also me concluding from my wife’s patriarchal blessing that she would have influence in this world, this then turns the next ongoing saga, that thereby she could keep on keeping on, being a ‘missionary’ influence.

She still, in my book had not initially kept it pure completely (and how could she argue, but still will maintain it) with some sinking-in with “the pack” on stuff like for example: When the women would reach their 3000 post mark, they would lavish each other with pictures of handsome guys with shirts off, some co-mingled sexy poses and some more suggestive types with clothes off, but not showing vitals. Well, when your woman is caught saying, that ‘SHE never received that good of treatment (lavish pictures) when SHE reached here 3000 post mark!’, and then you know that your otherwise really goody tooshes wife, that wouldn’t even watch Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood in our home because it is too worldly, gets caught having stooped that low, then you know you are in for a run (albeit massive denial), especially when you go after the friends or the sites avatars and signatures, saying that they are starting to get tainted with the ‘basement’ and she has taken it all very, very personally. Initially, I had I believe Heavenly Father and a temple experience to back me up, but it was picked apart as “not inspired”, even though this “forced compliance” seemed to help me a bit for a time that I had it on good authority that the site was being overrun with the basement influences. Soft porn reading material fanatics talking? Looks like it to me! But so have I then taken things too personally!?! Afterall woman are built different and when “looking” don’t lust. Afterall, we are just talking about men in their swimming shorts! Are “us” guys afraid to go swimming now? Hee, hee. Gosh, I think they’ve got us. I’m afraid not so. Yes, while the verbal is at an all time molecule excited high! Let’s just say, ‘what is as good for the goose is as good for the gander’ and I yelled ‘the King is naked’… NOT THAT ANYBODY HEARD ME!!! Yes, in the beginning I had better sex! But there is CONTEXTUAL love shared [I was going for] and celebrated in. And example is when after a romance movie WHERE you know YOU are THE item in her ARMS reminded of. But this is not contextual love!!! HELLO- THEY ARE WITH ANOTHER BUNCH OF WOMEN swooning and sighing because of a fictional vampire built like a God dressed on marble (the ultimate slab or platform for a woman)! And we are the diced mince meat, not fun, and so you get the idea of oppression. Well, men did the same thing to women in all fairness- both male or female ought not to be accepted as objectified for our own personal sexual pleasure and arousals taken way too far outside the bedroom. People!!! Let’s keep it in there!!! God said, THEY (whoever) will have joy in their works for a season and by and by the end cometh. Did he say they would have pinpricks? NO!!!

And so, I agree that these books have spawned a lot of soft porn initially (TwilightMoms has cleaned it up eventually to their credit), if not all out letting loose, as evidenced by when the TwilightMoms were cleaning things up, some disaffected members to include a Bishops wife, went off in a huff thinking that more politics surrounding “taking away their eye candy” had actually taken place, and with “my wife”, of all people, as the scapegoat or “culprit”. My wife went off and befriended her, not untypical of the kinds of things that have endeared these women to my wife.

I have to give these administrators credit and Lisa the owner, where credit is due. They are by in large not small women, but large of spirit in the sense that they could do and managed “all that”, BUT still maintain decency, keep in-fighting and catty behavior to an all time low- they really have ‘packed’ together in that sense on a lot of positive stuff too. My wife is the same too. But the separateness from men being able to have a voice, A REAL VOICE along the way, because the site is just for moms, made it the most damnable oppressive thing on the planet because of how otherwise goodness that we appreciate in our wives gets piecemealed and the ultimate is to support them in their friendships right? No, this was used to drive the ‘pick’ into our hearts when they swooned over hotties for so long. Many who are not of our faith and have not been taught that, were oblivious to things being wrong, cannot be held so responsible, but actually commended for not crying ‘fowl’ too much when all that was taken away- it just slumped off without much objection eventually to all of their, the TwilightMoms, huge credit. But the swooning twiterpating influences in “packing” together with feverish quick email replies, so they can all add to the “same thread” regarding swooning over breaking news of Edward kissing Bella in the new sneak peak trailer of the new movie about to be released, and the next best things of having difficulties, or rather no more, but proudly boasting of needing to now go have sex with their husbands (very hedgingly said in the most “tactfully” appropriate times and ways for emphasis)?!? That kind of thing leads me to not want to be part with supporting my wife anymore in there or having those kinds of friends. And so I’m bent on some feelings toward I’ve had enough. Now it’s my turn and righteous calling of what should not have been and has been too much fighting over THEM and THAT at home. Indeed I could say, why would I invite that kind of contention into my home? There is a very heated passioned distress regarding my “unrighteous dominion” now and my “insecurities”… which if you asked me?… are rather ‘begged and beaten’ out of me by her (the way I see it when I’ve taken second place to those wishy washy friends). Now, don’t worry, I’m responsible. You kind of wonder as we all know there is two sides to every story. But for once, I have an audience and friends, so setting that aside…

Now, in the beginning… no, my wife, was mostly if not completely, is all but pure as the driven snow, aside from consorting a little at the wrong times, as a way to solicit friendship. She can just separate it all too much for my tastes, having no problems at all, with these otherwise ‘a bit too worldly women’ for my tastes. Thing is they, the bulk of the women, are NOT that way normally before the ‘pin-up mentality and other strong pacifying supporters, perpetuated (in the past) this soft porn stuff for so long. Eventually, hopefully it was their religion, being Mormon, and some husbands (just me for all I know) and my wife’s influence and Lisa’s conceding, being key- DID CLEAN THE DARN THING UP!!! Congratulations are in order for sure. But my marriage is tattered with over the top marriage calisthenics (dates, courting to plays, went on a cruise, ‘let’s go for a walk’ and general stuff we all should have been doing anyway, but a little too much perhaps in my case), insecurities, and some private treadmill religiosity on my part to now try to “drag” (I’m “clingy” with it I suppose) my wife into it- compensation mechanisms. But TRUST has been deteriorated if not jeopardized and we are on the fritz fairly often. Imagine checking in on your wife’s emails and posts on the site when she is not looking. Not the most noble “tasks” on today’s to do list! Take a couple who fought maybe once month and take it down to twice a week, kind of thing.

Now, many will say I must hate twilight. No, I’m capable of stretching, but yes sometimes it does possess me in the natural sort of way you’d think. But I agree with one post I think was on here. It becomes pornography IF you linger and play. The subject matter of itself will affect people differently and it really is up to them EVEN to pull away for a while if you are feeling too much a compulsion. I read through ¾ of the first book and when my wife chose to fight as I talked, “that it was just a little too rich in selling that ‘Edwardish’ beauty to contain all happiness”, I put it down as my disappointment could not let me finish an otherwise wonderful story telling.

The clean-up-act was too gradual for my tastes. Vowing to myself along the way, that I would not be so controlling as to ‘dictate’ to my wife that she needed to give up her choice of friends (which I never really did), with me just voicing concerns and maybe out of a bit of insecurity, to try and ‘win’ my wife the whole time as to values etc., that more often than not it backfired as me attacking her friends and the site. The original needing of me to get conference on SHARED values with specific examples on the site I had regarding friends not being ‘as that good to their influence’ was completely gunny sacked and that kind of left a big vacuum. But I maintained not to actually come out in saying that I think she needs to give her friends up and to my own sense at least some honor, toward ultimately not controlling my wife. But it has gone on too long now when as I supported her leaving for the get together in Forks Washington, wanting to see some kind of conclusion in a finale’ of “that saga”. NOT. It is incessant. I believe it has now kind have built towards a defensive posturing and vindication for what has been withstood surrounding values. Kathy of course thinks she stood up for her values at the right time. I of course think too many lives and marriages had suffered with distrust. So, my temptation has been great for some kind of vindication of honor that she can respect. But I’m realizing it can only come through softer means.

It has not been easy. The history recently included, when I bounced this off an outsider and complete stranger I cordially became acquainted with for a brief time because of my work- he had seemed wise and he told me I did not need to invite that contention in my home and I had to agree. Regarding the association she maintains with those friends, because she is so defensive still… it has changed to… I as a guy should never have had to endure such a ‘hell on earth’ for the likes of what went on that I couldn’t have just had more sense to not have gotten in between these friends and her earlier and that I will not recant my desires now, that she just do that- get new and better ones or shift it to the better ones she has been deepening now. But you can see the demanding spirit and I’ve realized that will not do. Plus, I’m fallible to be painting horns rather than normalizing THIS situation.

Many might could say, ‘what is the big deal, they cleaned it up’, let it go, try to forgive and go on. Yes forgiveness and more love is appropriate. But not so with going on unaware because, it is not clean, they still swoon bravishly and I have determined that I deserve better, a woman who is UN-influenced by that. So I will not relent in my desire and perhaps by my right, as I will try to maintain without contention, just honor, and while respecting her, that she has her choice and that I not verbally or emotionally abuse her over my disappointment if she does not, even though I have felt nothing but emotional abuse from this myself. I would say, there is just as much good if not more at home with me to also deal with. Who knows, I might have to relent on it, but not out of some kind of NAÏVE blissful settling of the waters (not naïve). I suppose I will need to cross that bridge when I come to it.

Things are better than they used to be with the hotties off there, although they still have that forum, but their rules specify that they have to have their shirts on- for me it was always about modesty and propriety. It is still the same thing because of the conditioning. The nature of which mild exposure of hotties, reminds and induces them of the more lude exposures and sexual kindlings that other husbands have stupidly thought could last, but will never be acceptable morals [for me]. However, for non-LDS and even LDS woman that have maintained decency of the kind of exposure and governance on their time and day, which mine did not, they might have stayed clear of these things and so there is not the same kind of fuss I would imagine. For me, I honestly believe I would not be so hyper-sensative if my wife could be a bit more diplomatic as in agreeing first on what I am trying to say and then she usually gets the world.

Along these lines I have to say that MORE than an immodest and swaying hearts to swoon influence is had. It is a weakening of reserve to fight the world instead of your spouse. This general erosion of values and morals supported by people also breathing and “packing” together against such, is needed now more than ever in our society. There seems to me that a quicker response by society to these kinds of threats could be pulled upon somehow. We cannot let our children just do whatever they want and computer time in the homes needs to be measured and governed. Indulgence is the norm of our day and it needs to not go unpunished or served. And so, I’m more than ever against this kind of oppression- pornography in any form ought to be shunned like the plague (as the prophets have said), and those purveyors of it punished.

I believe my marriage has been on a very small scale of what is happening on a huge score and level. It was also very much more gradual and passively poignant in tearing at the fabric of marriages, ever so killingly slowly. And incessant slow is at the heart of break up and the devil knows this. That is why we will be OK, is because we know this too. These other few women did go off to recreate the somewhat harder (still “soft”) core porn site. To the TwilightMoms credit, not the least to mention is Lisa, the owner, did clean things up. This ought to be spelled out as GREAT. Rather prone toward punishment, I ought to reward and incite and applaud. So, I hope she takes no offense as I try to piece my home back together. I found out most recently that she did actually give my letter to her deference in her coming to on this issue. I had to muster my best salesmanship about what real brotherhood and sisterhood is all about (I was originally was kind of branded as coming across wrong with it). But full recompense is still lacking in that the swooning is still encouraged. So, might I say in pleading still, to use your influence to start standing as a witness of Christ at all times and in all places that you may be in.

As for me, I think I’ve born enough to NOT ‘have to’ also consider my wife still influenceable by them (I realize I may not have a choice ultimately). My most recent disappointments that spawned all this was when I found out recently, that my wife has “packed” or networked together enough now, with local women, to cancel (is what I am emphatic that I had going on with her) my ticket with her to go see the Twilight debut of the movie with my wife when it comes out, as the FIRST and PRIMARY source its day-beau and for her affections shared. Rather, I found out off of my own family blog, that she’s got FIRST tickets with local woman to see a midnight showing. I guess I know where that leaves me.

Actually we get along well otherwise. It is only right, as I would want some saving face graces applied to me and heaven knows I do not do my wife justice. This is not about my anxst I have with my wife. I defy anyone to think they have a better bead on my wife for affection and an appropriate sense for strength. Truth be known I’ve been too sensitive and set her on edge and contributed to what I get.

What this is about then? It is about the nature and subtlety of the internet soft pornography racket to include subtle banners and annoying pornographic videos on YouTube and the like that sit so conveniently next to the wholesome video. Society has to get very avoidant of these areas, so as to follow the money and demand better. Did you notice how Las Vegas did have to make their bill boards more ‘family friendly’ when the patronage stopped or dried up as a basis now for “need”. And so, ultimately I do not blame my wife, nor can I anyone else, but myself. But I would blame the situation a bit if I could.

[Pause] Fitting for a book series that would otherwise draw most people into its otherwise artful telling of an otherwise wonderful love story. Some people will perhaps catch what I did though, poignantly so, that just like otherwise candid love stories play on the line of anticipation for segwaying metaphysical love into the grounded (the artform Stephanie Meyer possess that is influenced STRONGLY by her religion or its theology), where true happiness and fulfillment lie- in Twilight it does not lie in the cadence beauties Stephanie Meyer ever so patiently winds, stoops, and weaves into the physical figure of Edward. I hope we would come to KNOW THAT on a behavioral level.

I agree with the point– anything that becomes all time consuming that you neglect real relationships… should be monitored carefully.

I read the first book while on vacation with my family visiting my in-laws. All the women picked up a copy and we read together with the nieces… It was fun. Reading the same book together and chatting over our thoughts. (it actually helped us connect to each other– spanning different ages and multiple interests. Our family is a make-up of people with so many differences and only last name in common. So it actually helped our reunion have LESS drama and such.)
At the same time. I chose not to read any more in the series because it was too tempting. (I read the whole book in a day or two… totally ignoring loved ones and sitting out on other “family” activities. I was the first one finished.) I read the harry Potter books this way too–and the anne of green gable series. some books I just cannot set time limits or boundaries.
So my advice is — if you think it is unhealthy for you. Don’t read it. If you find it hard to put it (the book) in it’s proper place in your life…. not before husband and children– then stop.

I speak from experience. Light-mindedness, attention and time devoted to things of no eternal worth is a snare that will rob you of memories and time with real people whom you love.

Just goes to show that the whole “sex sells” axiom is capable of hitting demographics that some think of as being unreachable by it.

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