I read the first book while on vacation with my family visiting my in-laws. All the women picked up a copy and we read together with the nieces… It was fun. Reading the same book together and chatting over our thoughts. (it actually helped us connect to each other– spanning different ages and multiple interests. Our family is a make-up of people with so many differences and only last name in common. So it actually helped our reunion have LESS drama and such.)
At the same time. I chose not to read any more in the series because it was too tempting. (I read the whole book in a day or two… totally ignoring loved ones and sitting out on other “family” activities. I was the first one finished.) I read the harry Potter books this way too–and the anne of green gable series. some books I just cannot set time limits or boundaries.
So my advice is — if you think it is unhealthy for you. Don’t read it. If you find it hard to put it (the book) in it’s proper place in your life…. not before husband and children– then stop.

I speak from experience. Light-mindedness, attention and time devoted to things of no eternal worth is a snare that will rob you of memories and time with real people whom you love.

But for me then at that time, when she said this to my wife, but “on the record”, my wife and I did celebrate(***) of what we now knew was going to be and end to the hotties (this was prior to the “run” and I mean boldness “running” to the basement concept). You’ll remember King Noah was able to go back on it however WITH those others. But hold off for a second… peace again in an otherwise ‘on the brink worn down’ marriage, ironically even though my wife did by in large, keep herself pure. What a huge roller coaster ride THAT was— a big KNOT or NOT!!! Basement time!!!:-) But not my wife. She truly was not into it, but I was paranoid knowing full well that a lot of this HAS influenced her. Indeed, but I am comparing after all of it, that what I have tipped the scales on to say, the equivalent of hanging out in the bar, while sipping pink lemonade. Even after meeting with the Bishop one time, where my wife had, had enough and me also feeling better because my Bishop is a very, very loving man that saved us there… but also me concluding from my wife’s patriarchal blessing that she would have influence in this world, this then turns the next ongoing saga, that thereby she could keep on keeping on, being a ‘missionary’ influence.

She still, in my book had not initially kept it pure completely (and how could she argue, but still will maintain it) with some sinking-in with “the pack” on stuff like for example: When the women would reach their 3000 post mark, they would lavish each other with pictures of handsome guys with shirts off, some co-mingled sexy poses and some more suggestive types with clothes off, but not showing vitals. Well, when your woman is caught saying, that ‘SHE never received that good of treatment (lavish pictures) when SHE reached here 3000 post mark!’, and then you know that your otherwise really goody tooshes wife, that wouldn’t even watch Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood in our home because it is too worldly, gets caught having stooped that low, then you know you are in for a run (albeit massive denial), especially when you go after the friends or the sites avatars and signatures, saying that they are starting to get tainted with the ‘basement’ and she has taken it all very, very personally. Initially, I had I believe Heavenly Father and a temple experience to back me up, but it was picked apart as “not inspired”, even though this “forced compliance” seemed to help me a bit for a time that I had it on good authority that the site was being overrun with the basement influences. Soft porn reading material fanatics talking? Looks like it to me! But so have I then taken things too personally!?! Afterall woman are built different and when “looking” don’t lust. Afterall, we are just talking about men in their swimming shorts! Are “us” guys afraid to go swimming now? Hee, hee. Gosh, I think they’ve got us. I’m afraid not so. Yes, while the verbal is at an all time molecule excited high! Let’s just say, ‘what is as good for the goose is as good for the gander’ and I yelled ‘the King is naked’… NOT THAT ANYBODY HEARD ME!!! Yes, in the beginning I had better sex! But there is CONTEXTUAL love shared [I was going for] and celebrated in. And example is when after a romance movie WHERE you know YOU are THE item in her ARMS reminded of. But this is not contextual love!!! HELLO- THEY ARE WITH ANOTHER BUNCH OF WOMEN swooning and sighing because of a fictional vampire built like a God dressed on marble (the ultimate slab or platform for a woman)! And we are the diced mince meat, not fun, and so you get the idea of oppression. Well, men did the same thing to women in all fairness- both male or female ought not to be accepted as objectified for our own personal sexual pleasure and arousals taken way too far outside the bedroom. People!!! Let’s keep it in there!!! God said, THEY (whoever) will have joy in their works for a season and by and by the end cometh. Did he say they would have pinpricks? NO!!!

And so, I agree that these books have spawned a lot of soft porn initially (TwilightMoms has cleaned it up eventually to their credit), if not all out letting loose, as evidenced by when the TwilightMoms were cleaning things up, some disaffected members to include a Bishops wife, went off in a huff thinking that more politics surrounding “taking away their eye candy” had actually taken place, and with “my wife”, of all people, as the scapegoat or “culprit”. My wife went off and befriended her, not untypical of the kinds of things that have endeared these women to my wife.

I have to give these administrators credit and Lisa the owner, where credit is due. They are by in large not small women, but large of spirit in the sense that they could do and managed “all that”, BUT still maintain decency, keep in-fighting and catty behavior to an all time low- they really have ‘packed’ together in that sense on a lot of positive stuff too. My wife is the same too. But the separateness from men being able to have a voice, A REAL VOICE along the way, because the site is just for moms, made it the most damnable oppressive thing on the planet because of how otherwise goodness that we appreciate in our wives gets piecemealed and the ultimate is to support them in their friendships right? No, this was used to drive the ‘pick’ into our hearts when they swooned over hotties for so long. Many who are not of our faith and have not been taught that, were oblivious to things being wrong, cannot be held so responsible, but actually commended for not crying ‘fowl’ too much when all that was taken away- it just slumped off without much objection eventually to all of their, the TwilightMoms, huge credit. But the swooning twiterpating influences in “packing” together with feverish quick email replies, so they can all add to the “same thread” regarding swooning over breaking news of Edward kissing Bella in the new sneak peak trailer of the new movie about to be released, and the next best things of having difficulties, or rather no more, but proudly boasting of needing to now go have sex with their husbands (very hedgingly said in the most “tactfully” appropriate times and ways for emphasis)?!? That kind of thing leads me to not want to be part with supporting my wife anymore in there or having those kinds of friends. And so I’m bent on some feelings toward I’ve had enough. Now it’s my turn and righteous calling of what should not have been and has been too much fighting over THEM and THAT at home. Indeed I could say, why would I invite that kind of contention into my home? There is a very heated passioned distress regarding my “unrighteous dominion” now and my “insecurities”… which if you asked me?… are rather ‘begged and beaten’ out of me by her (the way I see it when I’ve taken second place to those wishy washy friends). Now, don’t worry, I’m responsible. You kind of wonder as we all know there is two sides to every story. But for once, I have an audience and friends, so setting that aside…

Now, in the beginning… no, my wife, was mostly if not completely, is all but pure as the driven snow, aside from consorting a little at the wrong times, as a way to solicit friendship. She can just separate it all too much for my tastes, having no problems at all, with these otherwise ‘a bit too worldly women’ for my tastes. Thing is they, the bulk of the women, are NOT that way normally before the ‘pin-up mentality and other strong pacifying supporters, perpetuated (in the past) this soft porn stuff for so long. Eventually, hopefully it was their religion, being Mormon, and some husbands (just me for all I know) and my wife’s influence and Lisa’s conceding, being key- DID CLEAN THE DARN THING UP!!! Congratulations are in order for sure. But my marriage is tattered with over the top marriage calisthenics (dates, courting to plays, went on a cruise, ‘let’s go for a walk’ and general stuff we all should have been doing anyway, but a little too much perhaps in my case), insecurities, and some private treadmill religiosity on my part to now try to “drag” (I’m “clingy” with it I suppose) my wife into it- compensation mechanisms. But TRUST has been deteriorated if not jeopardized and we are on the fritz fairly often. Imagine checking in on your wife’s emails and posts on the site when she is not looking. Not the most noble “tasks” on today’s to do list! Take a couple who fought maybe once month and take it down to twice a week, kind of thing.

Now, many will say I must hate twilight. No, I’m capable of stretching, but yes sometimes it does possess me in the natural sort of way you’d think. But I agree with one post I think was on here. It becomes pornography IF you linger and play. The subject matter of itself will affect people differently and it really is up to them EVEN to pull away for a while if you are feeling too much a compulsion. I read through ¾ of the first book and when my wife chose to fight as I talked, “that it was just a little too rich in selling that ‘Edwardish’ beauty to contain all happiness”, I put it down as my disappointment could not let me finish an otherwise wonderful story telling.

The clean-up-act was too gradual for my tastes. Vowing to myself along the way, that I would not be so controlling as to ‘dictate’ to my wife that she needed to give up her choice of friends (which I never really did), with me just voicing concerns and maybe out of a bit of insecurity, to try and ‘win’ my wife the whole time as to values etc., that more often than not it backfired as me attacking her friends and the site. The original needing of me to get conference on SHARED values with specific examples on the site I had regarding friends not being ‘as that good to their influence’ was completely gunny sacked and that kind of left a big vacuum. But I maintained not to actually come out in saying that I think she needs to give her friends up and to my own sense at least some honor, toward ultimately not controlling my wife. But it has gone on too long now when as I supported her leaving for the get together in Forks Washington, wanting to see some kind of conclusion in a finale’ of “that saga”. NOT. It is incessant. I believe it has now kind have built towards a defensive posturing and vindication for what has been withstood surrounding values. Kathy of course thinks she stood up for her values at the right time. I of course think too many lives and marriages had suffered with distrust. So, my temptation has been great for some kind of vindication of honor that she can respect. But I’m realizing it can only come through softer means.

It has not been easy. The history recently included, when I bounced this off an outsider and complete stranger I cordially became acquainted with for a brief time because of my work- he had seemed wise and he told me I did not need to invite that contention in my home and I had to agree. Regarding the association she maintains with those friends, because she is so defensive still… it has changed to… I as a guy should never have had to endure such a ‘hell on earth’ for the likes of what went on that I couldn’t have just had more sense to not have gotten in between these friends and her earlier and that I will not recant my desires now, that she just do that- get new and better ones or shift it to the better ones she has been deepening now. But you can see the demanding spirit and I’ve realized that will not do. Plus, I’m fallible to be painting horns rather than normalizing THIS situation.

Many might could say, ‘what is the big deal, they cleaned it up’, let it go, try to forgive and go on. Yes forgiveness and more love is appropriate. But not so with going on unaware because, it is not clean, they still swoon bravishly and I have determined that I deserve better, a woman who is UN-influenced by that. So I will not relent in my desire and perhaps by my right, as I will try to maintain without contention, just honor, and while respecting her, that she has her choice and that I not verbally or emotionally abuse her over my disappointment if she does not, even though I have felt nothing but emotional abuse from this myself. I would say, there is just as much good if not more at home with me to also deal with. Who knows, I might have to relent on it, but not out of some kind of NAÏVE blissful settling of the waters (not naïve). I suppose I will need to cross that bridge when I come to it.

Things are better than they used to be with the hotties off there, although they still have that forum, but their rules specify that they have to have their shirts on- for me it was always about modesty and propriety. It is still the same thing because of the conditioning. The nature of which mild exposure of hotties, reminds and induces them of the more lude exposures and sexual kindlings that other husbands have stupidly thought could last, but will never be acceptable morals [for me]. However, for non-LDS and even LDS woman that have maintained decency of the kind of exposure and governance on their time and day, which mine did not, they might have stayed clear of these things and so there is not the same kind of fuss I would imagine. For me, I honestly believe I would not be so hyper-sensative if my wife could be a bit more diplomatic as in agreeing first on what I am trying to say and then she usually gets the world.

Along these lines I have to say that MORE than an immodest and swaying hearts to swoon influence is had. It is a weakening of reserve to fight the world instead of your spouse. This general erosion of values and morals supported by people also breathing and “packing” together against such, is needed now more than ever in our society. There seems to me that a quicker response by society to these kinds of threats could be pulled upon somehow. We cannot let our children just do whatever they want and computer time in the homes needs to be measured and governed. Indulgence is the norm of our day and it needs to not go unpunished or served. And so, I’m more than ever against this kind of oppression- pornography in any form ought to be shunned like the plague (as the prophets have said), and those purveyors of it punished.

I believe my marriage has been on a very small scale of what is happening on a huge score and level. It was also very much more gradual and passively poignant in tearing at the fabric of marriages, ever so killingly slowly. And incessant slow is at the heart of break up and the devil knows this. That is why we will be OK, is because we know this too. These other few women did go off to recreate the somewhat harder (still “soft”) core porn site. To the TwilightMoms credit, not the least to mention is Lisa, the owner, did clean things up. This ought to be spelled out as GREAT. Rather prone toward punishment, I ought to reward and incite and applaud. So, I hope she takes no offense as I try to piece my home back together. I found out most recently that she did actually give my letter to her deference in her coming to on this issue. I had to muster my best salesmanship about what real brotherhood and sisterhood is all about (I was originally was kind of branded as coming across wrong with it). But full recompense is still lacking in that the swooning is still encouraged. So, might I say in pleading still, to use your influence to start standing as a witness of Christ at all times and in all places that you may be in.

As for me, I think I’ve born enough to NOT ‘have to’ also consider my wife still influenceable by them (I realize I may not have a choice ultimately). My most recent disappointments that spawned all this was when I found out recently, that my wife has “packed” or networked together enough now, with local women, to cancel (is what I am emphatic that I had going on with her) my ticket with her to go see the Twilight debut of the movie with my wife when it comes out, as the FIRST and PRIMARY source its day-beau and for her affections shared. Rather, I found out off of my own family blog, that she’s got FIRST tickets with local woman to see a midnight showing. I guess I know where that leaves me.

Actually we get along well otherwise. It is only right, as I would want some saving face graces applied to me and heaven knows I do not do my wife justice. This is not about my anxst I have with my wife. I defy anyone to think they have a better bead on my wife for affection and an appropriate sense for strength. Truth be known I’ve been too sensitive and set her on edge and contributed to what I get.

What this is about then? It is about the nature and subtlety of the internet soft pornography racket to include subtle banners and annoying pornographic videos on YouTube and the like that sit so conveniently next to the wholesome video. Society has to get very avoidant of these areas, so as to follow the money and demand better. Did you notice how Las Vegas did have to make their bill boards more ‘family friendly’ when the patronage stopped or dried up as a basis now for “need”. And so, ultimately I do not blame my wife, nor can I anyone else, but myself. But I would blame the situation a bit if I could.

[Pause] Fitting for a book series that would otherwise draw most people into its otherwise artful telling of an otherwise wonderful love story. Some people will perhaps catch what I did though, poignantly so, that just like otherwise candid love stories play on the line of anticipation for segwaying metaphysical love into the grounded (the artform Stephanie Meyer possess that is influenced STRONGLY by her religion or its theology), where true happiness and fulfillment lie- in Twilight it does not lie in the cadence beauties Stephanie Meyer ever so patiently winds, stoops, and weaves into the physical figure of Edward. I hope we would come to KNOW THAT on a behavioral level.

Viewing porn is wrong, in and of itself.

Reading Twilight (or any CLEAN book with a desirable protagonist of the opposite sex), is not wrong in and of itself. It doesn’t cause the reader to lose the Spirit, by its nature, like porn does (for the record, I WOULD put steamy bodice-ripping romance novels in the same category as porn).

The problem with Twilight comes when the reader ALLOWS herself to become emotionally unfaithful to her husband by obsessing over the “desirable protagonist of the opposite sex,” but emotional fidelity is something we all have control over, even if we read Twilight. On the other hand, a man who views pornography IS being emotionally unfaithful to his wife, by the very act of viewing it.

Blaming Twilight for emotional infidelity in wives is like blaming chocolate ice cream for the 10 pounds you gained overnight. Was it the ice cream’s fault? Nope. Was it your fault for not stopping when you knew you should have? Bingo. It’s a lack of self-restraint that is the root of the problem. It sounds like many of these crazed “twilightmoms” simply didn’t bother to keep themselves from falling in love with another man (which, by the way, is something that we humans have control over, although Hollywood would have us all believe otherwise).