Annegb,

Congratulations on your peace of mind. I am genuinely happy that you have found peace and didn’t drink that beer.

Unfortunately, everyone cannot be like you. In a church without a paid ministry, if none of us went to church, the Church would cease to exist. At church we make covenants, learn doctrine/policy/culture, and organize ourselves to serve others. Without church attendance, we have none of these.

It’s a bit like me and football. I’m glad a lot of people like it enough to buy tickets, because I like to watch a game occasionally on TV. But if everyone was like me, there would be no football, since I don’t care enough about it to pay for a ticket.

Coffee and not attending your meetings? It starts off like that and will only get worse.

Annegb,

I think you make a great point about the to-do list. Being a young married fella with 2 little ones, I don’t have the sort of freedom to not go to church. And being a type B personality, when I am there, I am not interested in displaying any form of activity. I kind of do church on my terms, meaning the terms that have provided me with spiritual experiences and fulfillment.

Well it sounds like you are doing inactivity just right, then. I can’t be inactive because the Church and its’ activities are my spiritual crutch right now–if I stopped attending, I wouldn’t be doing the right things on my own. But you seem to be taking a break while still doing the needful things. Enjoy.

I don’t know, Adam, I’d go for that kinder, gentler church where people don’t act and serve out of obligation, or get so exhausted, like Gar’s wife, that they feel like failures. Intellectually, I realize we need to help build the church, but I’m not sure this is the way to do it.

Daniel, it’s true I would have attended Sacrament much more often if my work schedule hadn’t been so crazy (I work Sundays because those with young children need weekends off, and at first I was low man on that totem pole, now, not so much). But I’ve enjoyed the peace of not being active LOL. I didn’t intend it, it just happened, but it’s been rather nice.

ESO, I was thinking along that line yesterday and wondering what I would do if excommunicated. There’s a feeling that excommunicated people go hog wild in serving the devil, but I was never that hog wild in the first place. I expect I’d keep doing what I’m doing now. (I was wondering if I’ll be called to repentance, that would be a big mistake on the part of my leaders).

Thank you, Jota, it’s been a hell of a ride the last few years and I’m frankly still stunned at the turn of events the last six months. A dear friend, who I’ve avoided, came over last night and told me there are a lot of new people in our ward and I said, “Good, maybe they’ll leave me alone.” I truly “Vant to be alone” (Greta Garbo style).

The thing that has struck me is recalling those on the bloggernacle who’ve shared similar stories of inactivity and realizing I’m not much different than when I was active, except I’m less stressed. When I was a young mother of four, I had three callings (including visiting teaching), got my kids up early for scriptures and prayers, ground the wheat that made our bread, canned tomatoes, and stretched that dollar in every way I could. I kept the house clean for my neatnick husband and never, ever shirked my responsibilities. I wonder I didn’t die from exhaustion. Of course, I was young then.

I don’t feel that I’ve earned my rest now that I’m “old”—-I know in my heart I must continue to serve somehow. But I’m waiting and pondering and allowing myself the time and room to recover. It’s truly been a terrible time. I didn’t realize how terrible until I got away from it all.

Annegb: are you keeping the same job now that you’re back in Enoch?

Where I live, lots of people have Sunday jobs and only come to church when they can. Once you build some kind of seniority, hopefully you could still make it at least once every 2 or 3 or 4 weeks.

As far as the “Mormon to-do list” goes, I think you get to prioritize that yourself. I didn’t know canning and spotless-housekeeping were on the mandatory version of the to-list list. I thought mainly that sacrament meeting attendance, one calling, plus home/visiting teaching were the obligatory ones. And you could even get out of them under special circumstances like being a med student, or sick in bed, etc.

You’re still a lot more active than what a lot of “fringe-active” members are here.

Is that a Utah thing, where the stuff like going to home-making meetings (or HFPE now) and canning and grinding wheat is requirement to be considered active?

Wow, Look at the arm twisting and attempts to guilt trip. When my wife quit going nobody cared for about 2 years then they all acted like they were going to burst open if they couldn’t see her right now. They used the same guilt laden rhetoric that Adam used. A few less active but still faithful and paying their tithing even if they only attend once in a while will not result in the collapse of the church it will result in fewer new buildings and fewer ward splits that will be required. May even improve the church by reducing the trama of constant ward splits. Good luck annegb this is interesting reading.