Comments on: Choiceless Choices

By: Paroled from the Primary Presidency

Paroled from the Primary Presidency — Sat, 04 Oct 2008 01:10:30 +0000

annegb – I think you’re husband is leaving himself wide open for some unwanted assignments… Either that or he wants to hear, “No, no… When I asked if you could take out the garbage, I really just wanted to know if you were able.”

By: annegb

annegb — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 01:56:26 +0000

My husband: “I’m willing to help you if you really want me to.”

By: Orwell

Orwell — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:30:38 +0000

Fair enough, PPP. Yes, both sexes do their fair share of manipulation. The first examples given just hit me as so “wifely,” I guess, that it was hard to think of an inverse example. Obviously this is because I am not on the receiving end of said inverse examples. I’m sure my wife would agree with you 100%, by the way.

By: Paroled from the Primary Presidency

Paroled from the Primary Presidency — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 20:22:25 +0000

stevens – “There is always a choice…” this is true but being manipulated into making a specific choice is difficult to take even if you realize it’s the “best” choice in a given situation.

Orwell – You answered the question: “Do men present women with choiceless choices?” with, “Not usually.” but in talking with other women I think men do, in deed, present their wives with “choiceless choices” but in a different fashion. I have had this problem in my own marriage, and heard of it in others, where Husband calls Wife and says, “I’m still at the game/bar/party and know I said I would be home 30 minutes from now but do you mind if I stay for another 30 minutes/2 hours/lifetime?” Which leaves Wife in the position of saying either (1) “Yes, I do mind. Come home now!” which puts her in the roll of either warden or Mommy (neither is good) or (2) “Sure, sweetheart. Stay as long as you’d like.” while she waits at home seething over her husband’s inability to come home when he originally planned. It’s framed differently than the more typical Wifely “choiceless choice” but is just as manipulative regardless of how it’s presented.

Sorry!

By: tstevens

tstevens — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 12:44:55 +0000

There is always a choice, it is just unfortunately not the choice we want to make. To save time I am thinking about Victor Frenkl (spelling?), but even in the most dire of circumstances (or lack of choices we want to make) we still decide how will will react and interact with the world around us. In some respects those are the choices that matter most.

As always, I reserve the right to be completely wrong.

By: bfwebster

bfwebster — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 03:06:41 +0000

Has someone who raised 9+ kids…most definitely going to the temple counts as a “night out”. Anything that got us both out of the house together counted as a night out.

This was especially true when we lived in San Diego and after the San Diego temple opened. There are couches at the top of the spiral staircase in the east spire; we would do a session, go up into the sealing area, over to the spiral staircase, and sit in those couches for a good 30 to 60 minutes, talking quietly about all the important things in our lives. It’s been over a decade since we lived in San Diego, and I still miss those couches. ..bruce..

By: David E Oliver

David E Oliver — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 22:36:54 +0000

I am so far from God. I was raised as a baptist but joined the mormon church later on. I left the mormon church; but then rejoined again. But it was never the same. I am so far from God as I am searching for meaning and purpose. I wish I could see myself as made in the image of God so I could be a better person. I cannot accept resurrection as being true because I cannot see myself rising from the dead. I shouldn’t be so critical or condemming; but since I am so self-centered and selfish I can’t think of anyone else; but myself so what can I do? I should just accept myself for what I am; but this I will never do. I shouldn’t just sit here and do nothing. I wish to God I could live again and get a sincere second chance at life; but I know that will never happen. I cannot say what I want to say because I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. If you can help me then please e-mail me. davideoliver@switched.com

By: queuno

queuno — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 22:05:16 +0000

It’s very choice.

But I still think that certain activities might necessary trump a choiceless choice and bring it back into the realm of the a choice – Game 1 of the World Series at the “Temple” in Arlington, might trump a night at the temple in Dallas. (Of course, that’s a fictional, hypothetical, event.)

By: Jota G

Jota G — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 22:02:52 +0000

Seriously. It’s pretty good too.

They serve thin cuts and full cuts.

That for me is a choiceless choice.

(How do you like that as an attempt to restore the thread topic?)

By: queuno

queuno — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 21:36:49 +0000

I don’t know Queuno, the Dallas Temple serves prime rib on Friday nights. My wife and I have a nice undisturbed conversation over an inexpensive meal that neither of us had to prepare, then we go through a session (or do sealings if we don’t want to dedicate 2+ hours). We get ice cream afterwards. I rather enjoy our temple “dates.”

Seriously? I had no idea. Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever attended a session on a Friday night (mornings or early afternoons tend to work best, while the kids are in school).