Mormon Mentality - Thoughts and Asides by Peculiar People

By ESO

Dec. 8th, 2008 at 1:51 pm

I LOVE Christmas mailings!Â I sit down and read every word of every one of them, sometimes more than once.Â I deeply appreciate that anyone takes the time and energy to assemble them and then includes me in their thoughts and on their list!Â That said, I do have some definite opinions on style that I would like to share. I do this in an effort to serve–just in case you are wrestling with some of these decisions.Â I do not write this to criticize as I truly do value the act of love that communication can be.Â I expect we might have different opinions, and would love to hear yours in the comments!

Timing

Anytime is the right time.Â I suppose my personal goal is to complete mine in early December and have them out to be enjoyed through the season (does that sound vain?) but, I love them anytime I get them.Â After Christmas is totally OK.Â I’ll enjoy January and February mailings, too, and I won’t even think “what a moron!” when I get it in the mail in early March; I’ll think “they must have been busy!Â And to think, they still cared enough to write!”Â So really, any and all communication that is not a bill or a solicitation is appreciated. Don’t be shy!

Pictures

No, you don’t NEED a picture.

But should you choose to include one (and we wish you would), I have a rough hierarchy of the kinds of pictures I like to see in these cards:

1–Group shots from some significant event of the year (truly, I prefer candids, but I know that is a tall order!)

2–Group shot specifically composed for the card (sans Christmas wear)

3–Individual portraits

4–Collage of individual portraits

5–Group shot specifically composed for the card including holiday sweatshirts and Santa hats

6–Pictures with Santa

7–Pictures of your pets

I have heard it articulated that people resent receiving pictures of their friends’ kids when actually the card is from their friend (and they don’t care about or actually know the kids).Â I understand that and agree that I would rather see my college roommate than her kids.Â However, I have (and probably will again) violated it.Â What can I say?Â My kids are much more attractive than I am!

Form

Like I said, I like this correspondence in any form: postcard, newsletter, traditional card, I’ll even take an e-mail (especially if you are hospitalized or in jail). Â Â But I do have a dislike (although I still accept them) for the pre-printed card.Â If you can’t sign your own name, your list of recipients is too long.Â I would really really like a whole sentence in your hand, but your name is a must.

Content

Assuming you are providing news beyond season’s greetings, you can hardly go wrong.Â I will love your letter.Â I really do want to hear how old your kids are, where you went on vacation, what your spouse’s calling is, and even about your hobbies.Â There are just two things I DON”T want to hear about (and unfortunately, I have): your (or husband’s) salary and weight.Â The money thing goes without saying, right?Â Americans don’t discuss money.Â And if your weight is your major accomplishment, than I will feel sorry for you.Â Seriously, even if you have experienced a Biggest Loser like transformation, if you tell me about your weight, it will make me think that you are vain and need bigger problems to worry about.Â I would rather hear about your favorite TV show than your weight.Â Besides, if you are in the picture, I’ll get the idea, right?

1. Brian Duffin

Mon, Dec 8, 2008 @ 3:03pm

What a fun post! Loved it!

2. Faith

Mon, Dec 8, 2008 @ 3:07pm

I love them too! It shows that soemone wants to share their happiness with you. The sad thing it that too many of us rely on those “once a year” letters to hear about friends and family.

3. DKL

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 8:45am

Great post! I love receiving Christmas mailings, too. My wife and I have never put together a Christmas mailing for our family, but your guide may change that.

Also, I love the tip for jailbirds! (a guy like me may need it, you know)

4. Paroled from the Primary Presidency

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 9:25am

How timely… I just ordered our Christmas cards/pictures and hope to have them out this weekend. You’ll be pleased to know, ESO, that while I did include a portrait style photo of my family, we were not dressed in holiday attire and I also included TWO candid shots from our family’s first ever real vacation to someplace warm and tropical this summer. You’ll also be happy to know that I’ll be signing each card and including a personal note. Think I got all the requirements down??? :)

5. John Mansfield

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 9:49am

I think the salary taboo is a clever ploy of management to keep all such information and negotiating power in their hands. Likewise the taboo that kept me from celebrating publicly about getting Fairfax County to drop its prosecution against me this year.

6. ESO

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 3:33pm

Thanks, guys!

Faith–I am guilty as charged–a terrible correspondent!
DKL–Take the plunge–it is not as overwhelming as I thought it would be. You could always do something short, like a postcard from winkflash.com (personally signed, of course) and just to immediate family to wet your feet. Gathering addresses is the hardest part imo.
Paroled–excellent! I have been a bit delayed because I am including birth announcements this year (couldn’t justify separate mailings to basically the same crowd) but they will get done!
John–I would totally encourage to employees of the same employer to talk money, but no need to share hubby’s pay grade with the in-laws, is there? Congrats on defeating FX County–seems that is newsletter worthy!

7. Devyn S.

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 4:13pm

Great post – we tend to be the ones who start on the cards in December and finish them sometime in February…

8. JA Benson

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 6:45pm

Great post ESO. I love Chirstmas cards and letters too. I read each one and usually save them for years.

Last December I knew that a Christmas card from the Bensons was not going to happen. So instead we sent out Chinese New Year Cards in February. It fit our family since we had adopted from China ( http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=1323 ) that previous May. I ordered lovely discounted cards from China Sprout. This is last year’s card: http://www.chinasprout.com/shop/KHL034 . I received great compliments from several people so this is our new tradition.

I think that this year in January it will probably be: http://www.chinasprout.com/shop/KCC042 . Unless, of course, I change my mind.

9. queuno

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 6:53pm

1. Just email me the jpg of your card. Easier.
2. Just put your blog at the bottom of the picture. That way, I can go read up on your year online. Easier.

10. Paroled from the Primary Presidency

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 11:38pm

Good suggestion, queno, I had thought to include my blog address on our cards! Maybe next year…

And I did include a birth announcement of sorts (we’re expecting a child in May so last name on the card is “coming May 2009″) on our cards as well, ESO. Last years cards didn’t get out since we were busy discussing divorce and it seemed like a bad announcement for the Christmas cards (not to mention our family picture would have looked a little stressed) but the year before everyone got pictures of our 3-month-old along with letters. Two birds, one stone (or one stamp).

11. queuno

Tue, Dec 9, 2008 @ 11:43pm

This year, we have a card that’s 4×6 and has a compilation of small family snapshots taken through the year. And we put the family web address at the bottom, where you’d be regaled of the family accomplishments in photo form. We have a smaller, business card version.

Only “close” family members who are old-fashioned get it mailed. The rest get it emailed (and from the reactions, they love it that way, as we do).

We tried to do a crossword puzzle one year (to document the events that had occurred), with the answers online. No one liked that.

12. annegb

Thu, Dec 11, 2008 @ 12:05pm

I love them, too, ESO. My best friend from second grade married a millionaire and for years all I’ve gotten is this card engraved with their name, no note, nothing. So last year I wrote a 5 page Christmas letter on pretty paper and sent her a note on the bottom telling her how lazy I thought she was. I only sent it to her LOL.

So, this year, I got a Christmas letter from her! with a little note on the bottom, “Better?”

I haven’t sent one in the last few years because it seemed a little contradictory to Christmas to tell all the bad news, which was all I could think about.

I like pictures, except one friend, whose family I’ve never met, keeps sending multitudes of pictures of people I’ve never met, never will meet, and have no idea who they are. I know that’s ungrammatical but it’s early in the am.

13. Orwell

Thu, Dec 11, 2008 @ 12:59pm

Thanks for posting this ESO, I love Christmas mailings.

Growing up, we would get all of these holiday letters from my parents old friends – i.e. people that I and my siblings had never met and probably never will meet – yet we learned to watch for the letters from the same familiar names every year.

Really, no matter who the mailing is from, there is always some enjoyment to be had. For some, you know the people well and genuinely care about what’s going on in their lives. Some people’s letters imbue you with a kind of morbid fascination, and others are just fun to mock around the dinner table: “Can you believe that they told us that all their kids have 4.2 GPAs?” The only way to go wrong with a Christmas mailing is to send a card with no picture and no further information.

14. ESO

Thu, Dec 11, 2008 @ 9:02pm

Annegb–funny story about your friend!

Orwell–I should have added GPA to the no go zone of salaries and weight! SAT scores, too.