When I took my family to see Wallace and Gromit and the Curse of the Were-Rabbit, I carried in a box of crackers and a couple wedges of cheese, including Wensleydale. I didn’t smuggle, though; I carried them openly. When the usher said I couldn’t take my food in, I ignored him. After having purchased six tickets and a couple buckets of popcorn and drinks, I left it to him to ponder how much my crackers and cheese mattered.

1–Yes, why are you smuggling in such large items?
2–Michelle’s point of honesty intrigues me–do you repent of these actions or not think them applicable to TR interviews?
3–I guess my home-popped and still warm popcorn is no longer impressive
4–But I have smuggled in A BABY on several occasions. When we lived in the UK, they had a rule that only people who could leave the theatre of their own volition (ie walk) could be there, so a sister and I would dangle a young one between us, his feet hovering over the ground. Now, I take my infant on occasion–while no one has told me I can’t I guess it is frowned upon, and I don’t pay for him.

I have been through checkpoints in Israel/Palestine and Northern Ireland (back in the day) and they put ours to shame. Good luck, though.

Yeah, one of my kids (!) told me she felt uncomfortable about smuggling in candy. Then I was in the awkward position of having to explain the moral relativity of it all, what with the theater ripping us off with the high price of popcorn. Ugh.

I’d like to hear the rest of the motor oil story.

[...] Jeffy B, Mormon moonshiner. [...]

I think it is curious that violating laws and regulations is often classified in the LDS schema under “honesty”. Unless you are attesting to some compliant state (such as when you sign your tax return), the violation of most laws and regulations seems to belong in another category altogether.

For example, if I drive five miles per hour over the speed limit, am I being dishonest? I don’t think so. Law breaking, definitely.

I’ll tell you what, watching the Dark Night on Imax with a Mimi’s roast and mashed potatoes was one of my favorite smuggling adventures.

When I was at BYU, I went to see “Bram Stroker’s Dracula” with several friends and their wives (I was single at the time). The wives hated me, because they thought I was a bad influence on their husbands. Nevertheless, I snuck 6 bottles of beer into the theatre and drank them during the movie.

The problem with bringing beer bottles into a movie theatre is that no matter how careful you are — and, inevitably, the more empty bottles you make, the less careful you become — at some point, at least one of the bottles will role down the slanted floor of the theatre under the seats, making noise the entire way that the whole theatre can hear.

One other single guy was with us, and he thought it was pretty funny. My friends’ wives were mortified.

There’s used to be a place in Northern Virginia called The Arlington Cinema and Draft House (perhaps there still is). They got around this problem by actually serving you beer and giving you a table to drink it on. You could smoke there, too. It was the finest place on the planet to watch “Pulp Fiction.”

Let’s see. Beef jerky, vitamin water, hot dog, pizza, Ben and Jerry’s, pretzels, chicken sandwich, roast beef sandwich, deviled eggs, french fries, an orange, grapes, milkshakes, cheese fries.

What can I say, I’m a horrible criminal and not much of a candy guy. This cut smuggling cut down once the theater we attend started offering actual food that you could take in to the movie with you.

As a child, my family would go to the theater with another family on a regular basis. My parents never allowed us to take anything in or buy anything at the theater (the first option was too dishonest and the second was too expensive) but the mother of the other family always brought a purse about the size of my first car. She would bring 2-3 two-liter bottles of soda as well as cups to distribute said soda, family-size bags of chips, and assorted baked goods and candies. We always got to share in her smuggling ventures (apparently this was in a grey area according to my father’s moral compass) and it would regularly amaze me what she brought each time.

As an adult, I regularly bring milk and Dr. Pepper into the theater with me. My rationalization is the theater doesn’t sell either and I prefer Dr. Pepper to any other soda (or “pop” to those out west) and really like milk with the elephant ears the thater does sell. I think the trickiest thing I’ve ever smuggled into a theater was a very large paper cup with soda and no lid. Try wrangling your wallet while not spilling your drink all over the theater’s lobby!

Some people even did shots during especially good cult films!

You should have seen the International Theater at BYU!

Anyone care to comment on the justification for local health departments giving such a rule the force of law? I always thought that was ridiculous.

Mongolian Beef (with Lo Mein), at the Villa Theater in Salt Lake City showing of Aladdin.
By the time the movie started, there was no one within 3 rows of us…