Please tell me this is satire.

Guys, I have a feeling that this is serious. Really. I do. No kidding at all. You wouldn’t believe how many old New England homes have been retrofitted with 1.6 gallon per flush toilets by previous owners who put the supposed needs of the environment above those of their family’s hygiene.

Here’s what you should do: Refer it to the elders quorum president and make sure that it gets on the agenda for PEC. That way, it can get discussed at a higher level, and the bishop can make an inspired decision on behalf of the ward about who should help. Either that, or the problem will be fixed by then.

Or, you could just tell them that the church teaches self reliance, and this month, that’s your lesson. Self reliance.

You can’t make this stuff up, folks!

I can think of all sorts of stuff I have done as a home teacher; butchered livestock, installed a sprinkler system, replaced a gas tank, ferried people to their proctologist appointments, attended track meets, countless tech support calls, bailed someone out of jail and raised a litter of kittens, to name a few.

I rarely post things that aren’t satire, but this is one of those rare times. No joke.

DKL: Thanks for the advice. I think I’ll go with the PEC idea. We should go through the right channels of authority here, and it could be very instructive to have it on the PEC agenda.

MCQ: Good point. “Brother X, thank you for your email. It would be an honor to come clean up your sh#t.”

MAC: Butchering livestock!?

Okay, I am officially going to stop complaining about having to go home teaching every month. My families have never asked me to do anything so awful.

I was laughing, then I read Margaret’s and remembered how much excrement—dog, cat, and child—I’ve cleaned up for my visiting teaching ladies and/or other women in the ward. Maybe women take it for granted. I once took a lady’s kids when she had a breakdown and got rid of her cat and all five kittens and her dog to good homes, all in one day.

Nowdays I don’t even go to church. All’s I do church wise is pay my tithing, refrain from adultery, and blog once in awhile.

If I can’t afford to hire a plumber to do my home teaching for me that week, the request is unreasonable. I think someone wrote a post at BCC or BigBrown a few years ago about outsourcing home teaching. I’m all for it.

DKL-
You are close enough to Canada to drive in and smuggle back your own toilet that actually flushes. Bring one back for Tagore too. Quit whining and go. We might have gotten ours picking our son up from his mission in Toronto. How illegal is this? No one seemed to care.

Seriously,as a VT, I have done the meals, cleaning and babysitting all women do. I have tended many kids while parents went to the Temple (600 miles) and some kids when parents went to Europe(further); I nursed one baby while mom was in the hospital (reported in thread on fmh); I have transported and coached sisters to county to apply for food stamps, WIC, and disability; I have painted and wallpapered, tightened doorknobs, unstopped sinks and replaced a faulty light switch; I worked one sister through getting her GED; I got fleas from one sister’s many cats; I have sewn baby burial clothing overnight, and washed and dressed a sister for burial; I have gotten one lawyered up for her divorce when her hubby told her she should just use his lawyer; I have packed, and moved,for many, and driven the U-Haul for one sister. I ran my first marathon with a sister I visit taught (her idea). I have made baby quilts for over 40 women I have visit taught. (and Eileen, yours for Claire is started!)

Many of my VTs have done many of these thing for and with me. A group of them took fabulous care of my 5 kids while I was in hospital with #6 trying not to have him too early. A VTeachee introduced me to Dialogue and Sunstone, and another to blogs. I have made some wonderful lifelong friends, I have helped some people, I have had to put up with some people I never would have gotten to know otherwise and I know a few have had to put up with me.

DH home taught a divorced sister w 3 sons for 3 years. The boys came to my house for snacks and fun after school for a couple of hours for those 3 years and 5 more until we moved away. I have made untold treats for his home teachees over the years. (Women bring meals, including desserts; men bring treats.)

Good luck with the toilet.

gst: LOL!

Margaret and Karen: The VTs are clearly beating the HTs here (MAC’s contributions notwithstanding). If you want to add unclogging a toilet to your resume, I can help arrange something.

Mark Brown (14): Good guess. It’s actually a high-profile General Authority.

Chiquita: If posting this home teaching moment leads to a Mexican family becoming legal, it will all have been worth it.

Yep, I’d do it. Not out of line at all, at least not IMHO; I knew the job was dangerous when I took it. Also, as Margaret and others have pointed out, women do stuff like this all the time, VTs or not.

If I couldn’t get it done, I’d check with the EQ/HPG to see who had superior plumbing skills/equipment. Haven’t done quite the variety of tasks that MAC has handled, but I’ve had my share of unusual requests. ..bruce..

So, are you going to keep us in suspense or what? This was last week, so either you’ve left this “heinous” situation to boil and fester for a while or you’ve got a tale from the front lines to tell.

By the way, the sudden proliferation of the word s#1t around here is analogous to this tale of woe: First we had DKL’s song to divinity on the “Raise the Age” thread, and it looks like Tagore thought a second dump would blow the first one through. When is someone going to rescue us with a wire coat hanger?

I’ve asked a HT to help me fix the front door, where the glass was slipping out. He enjoyed it.

Orwell (23): I invoke my 5th Amendment privilege.

Regarding your profanity point, it’s probably a good time to resurrect this post to explain to the MM audience why we embrace expletives.

http://www.mormonmentality.org/2007/04/24/damn-it-all-to-hell-toward-a-christlike-understanding-of-profanity.htm

queuno: Let’s not rush to judgment here. Maybe they meant, “Bye! We’re going to run and get some stuff to clean that up!”

bfwebster invokes the superchicken rule. “You knew the job was dangerous when you took it, Fred!”

I should note that the one naughty word is the least disgusting thing about that video.

That video brought tears of joy, gst.

My reply to this fellow would be, “The Ensign article was about helping out a family where there is an illness, over which the family had no control or responsibility. You got yourself into this ‘mess,’ and you’re a fool for not seeing the difference.”

Remember, folks, Tagore’s legal training; he delights in such fancy-pants philosophical questions. I smell fiction (if not satire).

But then again, I’m a guy who can only recite a list as long as my pinkie of things I’ve ever done for my assigned families, though I’ve made offers.

I don’t know, sounds perfectly plausible to me… especially the part about trying to blast the first one through with another go. Are you all trying to say that you’ve never tried it?

poopusher: You must join us.

annegb: thanks for the invite but I’m afraid I must decline.

a) All I could contribute would be toilet humour – I literally have no opinion about anything except maybe Tina Turner (don’t get me started) and
b) my wife thinks this blog is nothing short of apostasy.

By the way PooPushers not my real name either.

Tell them you’d really love to clear out their sh#t, but the plumber’s union will come after you if you try to help, and you just can’t handle fighting powerful union bosses right now. But you will be happy to come over wearing some ill-fitting, low-rise jeans, stoop down, and take a look at it, and then call a credentialed plumber for them.

If it weren’t for home-teaching, I wouldn’t have any friends. I’ll take an assigned friend over no friends any day.

Jim – I actually like having a Home Teacher assigned to my family. While it’s all well and good to just tell everyone to be “Christian” and “fill [a need] if we can,” we all know this doesn’t really happen.

My husband is a member of record and holds no real contempt for the church but also isn’t into socializing with members all that much. By having a HT come into our home on a regular basis, I get the benefit of having a Priesthood holder as well as a man I trust who also connects with my husband. It may be an assignment, but these assignments can and do lead to life-long friendships. It’s also a good way to lend order to a church family.

Don’t get me wrong… I am not the model Visiting Teacher and at times really don’t like the idea of visiting the needy and “hard luck cases” I’m assigned to but I don’t think any of us have hit that Christ-like level to just know without being told who the needy around us are. Both of the sisters I’m assigned to are mostly inactive, so who would actually SEE their needs if not the Home and Visiting Teachers assigned to them? Neither have any good friends in the ward so someone would have to be checking in on them. I suppose we could leave it to the Bishop or the RS President, but how much nicer for every member to have an opportunity to serve and grow through such a simple calling.

There’s way more to the system than just “filling needs.”

“…I’m realizing how obnoxious it must be for people who want to be left alone to have well meaning loving women stalk you.”

Yeah… I have a friend in this situation. Though after several months of not responding to her visiting teacher’s attempt at contacting her, this nice sister eventually emailed my friend to find out what her preferences about contact are. She emailed her back immediately and basically gave her the “thanks but no thanks” line. While I was innactive, I never had any home or visiting teachers try to contact me. Would it have made a difference? Probably not. But I try to follow up on my less actives anyway!