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My daughter is a decent soccer player, but not top-notch, and she has been playing on an utterly terrible team the last few seasons (we play spring and fall and have lost 75% of our games, and by usually very close margins). Her coaches, unfailingly, are two of the nicest parents I have ever met (two of the dads of girls on the team). Most of the team has stayed together — despite heart-breaking losses due to brain-dead play and some skill issues and some bad coaching — at an age when girls quit soccer because of how supportive the coaches are. These girls love their coaches. Of course, when you get a team of tween girls to stick together for a couple of seasons, they start to develop skill and cohesiveness. And this year, they won their championship (worst to first), despite not really getting better fundamentally. The only tactical thing I noticed (and I’ve attended a lot of practices and games) is that their coaches convinced some of the girls to change out of their accustomed positions to new ones that they weren’t familiar with. Sounds easy enough, right? *You* tell a 11-year-old girl who has played goalie for 2 years that she’s no longer a goalie. And tell the top goal-scorer (on a bad team) that she’s now the goalie. (But, the moves worked. And yes, it calls into question why they didn’t do it sooner.) My point, being inartfully made, is that these coaches succeeded with encouragement, when it would have been *so* easy to criticize (11-year-girls are famous for not concentrating during games). Sure, they yelled themselves hoarse during games shouting instructions, but they were unfailingly positive. They weren’t Vince Lombardi, and that probably has made their recent success all the sweeter… |
Thanks Queuno – sounds like the makings of a movie with your daughter. It reminds me when I was in high school my ward created an A basketball team and a B team. They put the best players on the A team and the worst players on the B team for some stupid reason. The B team (which I was on), lost a lot of games but we did win occassionally and we beat the A team. We did not win due to skill but due to the fact that our coach believed in us and we had fun playing. |
I speak to at least 30 people a day on the phone and every day I’m more converted to the fact that everything we say has impact. We never know what kind of day a person is having and we never know the far reaching impact of our kindnesses. We can lift others or we can bring them down. I believe this has exponential consequences in all our lives. Good post, Devyn. |
I had a girlfriend in college who taught me to play racquetball; she’d played at USU on a club team. She was always very encouraging — up until the point that I finally beat her. Then she got bitter. I think we broke up soon after that… |
Anne – I have no doubts that you are a kind person over the phone Queuno – Sounds like a few guys I know who would or did the same thing to their girlfriends… |
Back in 1987 I had a home-teaching companion who had two small daughters. I made sure to make a fuss over them when I went over to his house to start a home-teaching trip. One Sunday at church that year as I was going to class, and small children were lined up to go in their primary classes (there were 3 units in the stake center building), one of my home-teaching companion’s little girls pointed at me, and nudged the girl standing next to her and said “See him? He’s my friend.” Coming from a small child, that she considered me her friend meant more than all the strokes from everyone else who make you think “Alright, what do you want now?” |
A very insightful post, words can be used as remedies, or weapons, they are very powerful and can have a huge impact of one’s life. |