I received “wise” counsel from my ward mission leader once.
“we are encouraged to avoid the very appearance of evil. That’s why I won’t even drink Root Beer lest someone see me and conclude I am drinking Coke.”

Proof that the Pharisees are alive and well in modern times.

I notice that their webpage devoted to the question of whether chocolate contains caffeine is copied almost verbatim from this web page: http://www.xocoatl.org/caffeine.htm, which is anywhere form 7 to 12 years old.

I had seen this page several years ago claiming that chocolate does not contain caffeine, but instead only theobromine, which is what most people confuse for caffeine. But then I have also read other people make the claim (one at http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art1261.asp) that states that there is indeed caffeine in chocolate, at half the rate of theobromine. I have no idea which claim is correct. If I were to pick one I’d pick the claim that chocolate contains both theobromine and caffeine.

Ron, I don’t have much experience, but the best thing I’ve seen so far as a Snopes for Mormons is this: http://www.holyfetch.com/.

I’m all for trying new things, but I suspect this drink will have too much sugar and too little caffeine to replace diet coke as the drink of choice for most Mormons.

Don’t you love the invention of new words when one combines two old words that were never meant to go together? Just so clever! I think I will use this idea for my personal choice of junk food (hot dogs) and my choice of narcotics…I’ll call it a heroweiner.

Seriously, adam e., I wonder how many people will avoid it just because of the name. (Besides, what would the home teachers think if they saw a coffee machine in your kitchen?)

Ron, I have a General Authority in my (near) extended family that drinks Coke — which is how I keep my Mom off my case about it. (This is true.) For the record, I know he’d be totally game for this Choffy thing. So, why doesn’t everyone spread the word that you read online that some blogger knows a GA that endorses it.

buraianto, thanks for the caffeine link. I have actually seen some places that concede chocolate contains caffeine as well as theobromine, but in insignificant amounts. However, I can’t find a link right now.

arJ, I endorse Amano chocolate — not just because it’s the best chocolate I have ever had, but because they sent me double my order when they messed it up once. Does that milk thing really work?

Yeah, MCQ, I was under the impression that it’s the straight stuff that you’re supposed to sugar / cream to taste. That said, I have a testimony of Diet Coke but, while inspired, it does not contain the whole truth. Dr. Pepper is the one and only true and living soda on the face of the earth.

Honestly, not having tried Choffy or talked to anyone who has, it might actually taste something like coffee, since those grain drinks (Postum, Cevada, Pero, etc.) seem to (and they’re all processed in similar ways, aren’t they?). Does anyone know if you could make Postum in a coffee machine? I’m assuming so since old people have been drinking it since before the inception of instant-type brewed beverages, but I only ever saw it in the instant variety.

Speaking of Postum, I believe Kraft discontinued it last year. Fortuitous for these Choffy people.

I don’t get it, larryco_, how does junk food + narcotics = Greek pr0n?

@Orwell: see above. Postumâ„¢ was made like powdered hot cocoa — dump and stir. Choffy’s best made with a French press. But it still tastes awful.

Wait, Silus, one more question: Does it supply a perceptible energy kick?

But of course I DID read after the jump and all the comments. While Silus’ experience gives me pause, I DID acquire the taste for mugicha (wheat tea) requisite to serve a mission in Japan. I bet I could do this.

Of course, I already like diet Pepsi with lime, so maybe I’ll save Choffy for the winter.

Sounds tasty… I will stick to Diet Coke. I had to wake up at 5AM yesterday for a two hour drive for a meeting – drank nearly two liters of the stuff yesterday to stay awake…

(Stimulant (Drugs!)) x (Hot drink (WoW buzzword!)) x (Coffee maker (Appearance of evil!)) x (Name like “coffee” (Guilt by association!)) x (Chocolate (Looking beyond the mark!)) = sin⁵

I think I’ve just mathematically proven that this stuff will send you to the 5th Circle of Hell, the place designated for the wrathful and slothful. The slothful drink Choffy for an energy boost, and the stimulants therein (no matter what they’re called) then stir the slothful addicts up to anger against their brethren. What Dante didn’t tell you is that the “filthy water” in the River Styx is, in fact, Choffy (ditto for the river in Lehi’s dream). Silus Grok describing its flavor as like unto “dirt” is the most damning evidence so far — I mean, what do you expect “filthy” water to taste like?

I think I will pass.

But, I have become enamored with these Crystal Light Energy “on the go” packs. They pack a serious caffeinated punch. PLUS, on the bright side, it is pink-colored. The Pharisees don’t think I am drinking a prohibited beverage, so I still get invited to their cool parties.

I feel that as a church we like to make up new commandments and I think people are doing the same thing here with Choffy, so here are my thoughts on it.

Ok so here’s the deal, I don’t buy into the whole ‘it looks like coffee, so therefore I can’t drink it’, argument. If you don’t drink soda (root beer was mentioned) because it looks like sin (I will not even comment on caffeine) then all you can drink is ice water, or milk, since based on the previous logic ‘if it looks like soda’, any fruit based drink could also be considered a ‘mixed drink’. And what about hot drinks like cider, or hot chocolate? Once again based on the ‘it looks like the devil’ rule you can’t drink hot chocolate, in fact you really can’t drink anything out of a thermos cup, or any cup that would be used for coffee or tea. Hot chocolate looks like coffee, and tea with cream, so it’s a ‘no go’, and cider looks like tea so also not a possibility. Personally, I find this ridiculous, I like hot chocolate and I like Choffy for that matter, but let’s move down the list of complaints.

Next up; the name is close to coffee therefore it is evil. This is absurd. The name does not make it a bad thing, the name ‘Choffy’ is marking for people who drink coffee, but that aside a name does not make something good or evil, it makes it a name. When someone is named Jesus we don’t fall at their feet and worship them because they are the savior do we? No because they aren’t the savior they just have the same name.

Lastly, if you find yourself biting your nails about Choffy consider this, it’s chocolate in its purist form, no sugar, or extra coco butter added. You have to ask yourself if pure coco is a sin or not. If you answer ‘yes it is’, then stop eating chocolate all together. If however you rolled your eyes at that and said ‘chocolate isn’t a sin’ then your good to go, don’t make a fuss over this.

Orwell,

Sorry for the misunderstanding, I don’t work for Choffy but I drink it a lot. Personally I like but I understand a lot of people don’t.

For sure. I’m a convert and I wont lie I missed coffee when I joined the church, and it wasn’t the energy that coffee gives you, I really like the taste of coffee and have a lot of good memories around it. Now given it’s been years since I’ve had real coffee but Choffy has the same rich earthy taste. I love the way it smells and its perfect with most anything, if people don’t like the taste because like coffee it’s bitter, add some cream and sugar and it will be great. I’m not sure what blends they have right now but I would recommend trying each one and figuring out what tastes best, you can also add vanilla and I added cinnamon a few times. Like I said before its not for everyone but if your not a big fan of really sweet drinks in the morning I would recommend Choffy. As far as the energy benefits I wake up more when I drink it but it doesn’t give me the jitters or anything like caffeinated drinks, also I noticed that when I stopped drinking soft drinks I got headaches after a few days. I drink Choffy daily and I’ve gone a few weeks without it and no headaches, which leads me to believe Choffy’s claim of no caffeine.

I never said the site was a big joke, but we do have a lot of lighthearted stuff. Look around a little more and you’ll see what I mean. But, like I said, on this issue, you’re preaching to the choir, I think.

I ordered a free sample of Choffy and then when to Sears to pick up a coffee machine. When the Choffy came in the mail 2 days ago, my wife and I waited until the girls were off to school and the boy was asleep, and drank it. Here’s what I found (from memory — I didn’t write anything down, or even think very hard about it when I was drinking it):

Choffy has a rich chocolate smell, tasting strongly of chocolate without tasting candied. It has a fine, but earthy texture, with notes of burnt almond and coffee. It’s fuller bodied and richer than Postum. It’s not quite as bitter as coffee. If you like heavy African coffees that are balanced by a hint of floral, citris, or berry, then Choffy may strike you as flat. But if you prefer darkly roasted Central American coffees, then this is probably right down your ally.

Choffy is more than just a coffee knock-off. It is a very good drink in its own right. It tastes different enough from coffee to avoid being a weird tasting or a strange cup of coffee (as opposed to, say, instant coffee, which tastes similar to coffee, but is just plain awful), but Choffy still provides the same bitter, hot-drink feel. Postum, by comparison, also tasted different enough from coffee to avoid tasting like bad coffee, but never really amounted to anything more than a passable substitute for coffee — and I say this as a Postum drinker who stocked up on enough of it to be enjoying it still, even though it was discontinued 2 years ago.

Incidentally, I found the performance of the Choffy grounds in the coffee machine to be less than satisfactory. Unlike coffee grounds, Choffy grounds absorb a good deal of water. This causes them to expand and block the water flow through the filter, so that you end up with a filter canister full of water when it’s done brewing. Kind of a pain to clean up, and I’m left to wonder if it impacted the taste of the Choffy. How are other people preparing it? If you’re using a standard drip coffee maker, did you experience the same issue that I did?

Final verdict: I love it. My wife and I ordered a few packets yesterday afternoon, and tonight we bought a coffee press to solve the brewing problem. We wait in eager anticipation to receive our first large-scale shipment.

I hope the Choffy people send me a check for this.

Hey, Clark, we once exchanged emails about my Amano order. My wife and I love the chocolate you guys make. Thanks for giving us the industry perspective.

Fast forward to the Word of Wisdom. No coffee or tea. Then we all sit around “Well, obviously it’s because there is caffeine in it.”

The spirit of the Word of Wisdom helps us to be healthy and enjoy the blessings of obedience and sacrifice. The same law that tells us to abstain from tea and coffee is also telling us (between the lines) to not eat 10 slices of pizza and have a huge milkshake.

We also don’t insist on coming up with big reasons why things that aren’t excluded from the WOW(v2.0) aren’t. Milkshakes and pizza aren’t excluded in WOW(v2.0), so I don’t have to make any excuse for eating them, and no one cares about it.

my subst: Barley Tea. It’s actually recommended in D&C 89.

You can buy raw barley and roast it, grind it, and make tea. Or you can buy roasted barley, grind it, and make tea. Or you can buy bulk roasted barley that is already ground. Or you can buy it already ground in tea bags.

Look for it at Asian grocery stores.

disappointed that we could not get a free sample first but we ordered anyway…Choffy (after our first taste) is not something that we would drink all the time but more as a dessert.

It is tasty and we are going to try to brew it with milk.

We are “Postum” drop outs sorry to say Kraft does not make it anymore so we were looking for a substitute.

Thank you for the great details as these are very helpful for my project.

Hey Orwell, if you see this, I just *barely* saw that you had asked whether I served in the Brazil Porto Alegre South mission: http://bycommonconsent.com/2010/04/13/mormon-studies-auf-mish/#comment-185328

The answer is yes.