In a 1973 BYU Devotional address, Elder Bruce McConkie shared how he decided whom to marry:

How do you choose a wife? I’ve heard a lot of young people from Brigham Young University and elsewhere say, “I’ve got to get a feeling of inspiration. I’ve got to get some revelation. I’ve got to fast and pray and get the Lord to manifest to me whom I should marry.” Well, maybe it will be a little shock to you, but never in my life did I ever ask the Lord whom I ought to marry. It never occurred to me to ask him. I went out and found the girl I wanted; she suited me; I evaluated and weighed the proposition, and it just seemed a hundred percent to me as though this ought to be.

He points out that it would have been good to counsel with the Lord after he had made his decision, but admits that he didn’t do so. Deciding who to marry is easily one of the most important decisions a person will ever have to make, so on one hand, Elder McConkie is right that it’s somewhat shocking that it never occurred to him to ask God during the process. Of all the things for which we should seek personal revelation, isn’t this decision important enough to merit some kind of spiritual confirmation or guidance? But on the other hand, I think his experience is helpful in dispelling the often misguided (and sometimes ridiculous) expectations many young single LDS members have about how to decide whom to marry.

Elder McConkie points out that there is a fine line between agency and inspiration, and I wonder which is a bigger challenge to Church members generally: (A) an over-reliance on agency, accompanied with not putting forth enough effort (or otherwise doing what is required) to receive personal revelation; or (B) an unrealistic expectation of what to expect from God by way of inspiration?