I’m an idea (wo)man, folks. I have no technical know-how, money for ventures, or entrepreneurial appetite, but I do have some ideas for products that would make my Sundays easier.

  • An alarm that will announce how many more minutes we have before we need to be in the car (25 minutes, 15 minutes to go, 10 minutes, 5 minutes–you better run, 2 minutes–help your brother find his shoe, 1 minute–mom’s head is going to explode), so the kids won’t need me to tell them HOW MUCH they need to hurry up.
  • Pre-torn Sacrament bread. Hey, I thought salad in a bag was stupid, too, but when was the last time you bought a head of lettuce?
  • Pews with doors at either end like they have in the Kirtland Temple–oh, I would love that self-contained kind of wander room for my toddler.
  • The perfect snack that is neither too crumbly nor too sticky to make a mess.
  • A paperless bulletin–really, does anyone need these to keep and scrapbook?
  • Name tags–I realize that this is not really an invention, and that lots of sensible churches already use them, but I propose some Mormon ones that could list some standard information that is really boring to talk about, but we want to know. Ex. Name, occupation, last residence, mission served, last school attended, impetus for moving here, kids ages, current calling.
  • Digital song number board. Seriously, the card-stock ones are SO old school, and you can never find a 2 when you need one. It would be great if you would invent one that remembered previously sung hymns, so when the chorister enters 134, he will be reminded that we sang it two weeks ago.
  • Altering the church bell that indicates the end of class to ANY other sound.
  • Coat hooks at the chair rail height so my kids can hang up and retrieve their own jackets (I know some buildings have this, I just need some in MY building).
  • An automatic timer that turns the microphone off when a speaker’s time is up.
  • Automatic doors on the Chapel and Relief Society rooms that open the second Church meetings SHOULD end so those meetings will not run over and the parents will go collect their children from Primary.
  • Scripture pocket/shelf under chairs like the ones that hold hymnals under the front row so there will be scriptures available to all the slackers who don’t bring their own and the teacher can call on anyone to read a scripture, rather than the five people who usually come prepared.

Feel free to post your own ideas for inventions still un-invented in the comments.