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| Thursday, June 20, 2013 |
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These things are rarey discussed in formal church settings. However in my exp with church members the following is true. 1. LDS Women discuss sex frequently. Even in large groups. Everytime there is a book club at my house the discussions eventually end up with sex being a main topic. 2. Men discuss politics frequently in informal settings. |
Here in Orlando we are very good at keeping politics out of our ward settings. It leads to no good whatsoever. Not that some members don’t attempt to introduce it from time to time (we just shoot them down real quick). The transplants from the mountain West learn real quick that politics and multi-level marketing are not wanted in our ward families. Interestingly enough, it is most often the tourists that visit our Sunday meetings who bring up the political subjects and try and mix them with the principals of the Restored Gospel (our ward literally has at least three visiting families or groups each week – one time half our Sacrament meeting were Disney visitors). As concerns raising sexuality at church, there is the issue of little ears overhearing inappropriate topics (unless, of course, it is blaming the gays and lesbians for the breakdown of the traditional family – strangely, they never seem to mention the teenagers having sex or the out-of-wedlock births or the adulterers or co-habitationists, just the gays). |
Odd, BBell. I’m an LDS woman, and the one thing NEVER talked about is sex (though I suspect it really needs to be). We must run in very different groups. |
Ditto to Coffinberry. Have never talked about sex with LDS women. Politics comes up quite frequently in LDS womens’ book clubs I’ve been in. |
bbell – politics? Not in my ward. Of course this could be because my ward is comprised of hard core conservatives and it would not be a productive discussion… |
Never had sex brought up, but for some reason other women members who weren’t there always does. |
I have never discussed sex with my friends, save one who tried to get me into the subject. I think it’s a generational thing. Younger women seem to feel more free about the subject. |
I agree with bbell on sex – my wife has heard a few too many stories at book clubs. And these are not 20-somethings… |
I have to support bbell and queuno. |
Well, just to go to bat for my team: my book club also does not discuss sex, save for one discussion about having “the talk” with your kids which, in my book, falls under parenting, rather than sex. Fascinating that the men here believe that sex is discussed and the women (who actually attend these discussions) say that sex is not discussed. |
Honestly, you guys heard your wives church book club members discussing their sex lives? That’s never happened at our book clubs. I’ve never discussed sex with my very best friends! Let alone a book club. And if a man was sitting in the next room, I definitely would avoid the subject. It’s not hard to avoid. Sex is pretty much the last thing on the women I know’s minds. Honestly? When you’re exhausted from laundry and kids and especially women like me going through menopause, sex is the least interesting subject on earth. We fight a lot about politics. I bet you guys WISH we were thinking and talking about sex. |
Once about 22 years ago, my friend, the Relief Society president (I was her counselor) told me there was some tension in her marriage. Then she said “I guess if I told him I had to have mad passionate sex right now, that would solve everything.” Then she blushed and said “I can’t believe I just said that.” I, totally embarrassed, said not a damn word. I couldn’t imagine her husband ever thinking about sex. He just didn’t seem the type. Another woman told me she had deeply amorous improper thoughts about my husband. I wasn’t insulted–I thought she was stupid because he’s such a pain in the ****. Then when we were separated, she basically prepared to be his next wife. We aren’t friends anymore. She’s a single older (than me) woman and reads those books with half naked people on the cover that say “Love’s passionate promise.” Hmmm….what other sex talk? None at book club–we’re too busy arguing Palin v Obama. I commented once how now that I’m fat and wrinkly and rather grump, Bill can’t keep his hands off me and my neighbor said “Isn’t that so cool?” But feminist Mormon housewives kind of sex talk just doesn’t happen in my circle of friends. I think about those old people saying they have great sex lives and it’s kind of grossing out. Well I’ve talked more about sex with you guys today than I talked in the last ten years. |
These discussion happen in my home, at park day, and at parties…. sex is a really common topic amongst local LDS women. I have heard them often with my own ears. My wife commonly talks about sex with her LDS friends/relatives on the phone as well. That is the world I live in. Pretty much if a group of women in my ward get together sex will eventually become a topic of discussion at some point. |
When the women from the ward gather at my home I typically play the role of full-service caterer. They tend to forget I’m there and speak freely at which point my services end until someone sheepishly asks, “Did we chase your husband off? I need more spinach puffs.” |
Seriously, maybe we have different definitions of “sex.” Was it birth control? Because, to my mind, that isn’t a “sex” talk. Underwear? Again, not a sex talk. Conception? Not a sex talk. Nursing/breasts? Not a sex talk. |
What does your wife say, Paul, about sex? Hmmm? All I say these days is “been there, done that.” |
I have had reports from my wife and my sisters (I have four sisters) about topics of discussion at their get-togethers with high school and college friends. They have discussed sex pretty frequently. My wife’s group bought a sex book (don’t know what the title was, but it was some kind of manual about sexual positions and practices) and took turns reading and discussing it. My sister told me about the sexual topics that her group discussed. None of it was birth control or underwear (unless lingerie counts as underwear). In my experience, women talk about sex as much as men do. |
I am not saying that no women talk about sex. I am saying that most of that discussion occurs between close friends and roommates (and the most sex talk I have ever heard was done among virgins at BYU). Not at church. Or church groups. Or groups made up of people from church. Would men discuss sex at an EQ BBQ? I doubt it. Why would women do it at park day or book club? Even if all the women present were considered good friends (although that is pretty hard once you get past 3 people), it is doubtful that such a discussion would occur in a large group. I see what you wrote about your wife’s book club there, MCQ. I have a feeling that the details are not without the most salacious or entertaining spin on it. My book club is very liberal and very open, but sex talks we do not have. |
LDS women DO talk about sex. However, I see it only when there is a level of friendship or a feeling of comraderie and same stage (all single, all newlyweds, all post-partum with babies, etc.). So it DOES happen, but it is in a limited kind of way. So my bookclub of close friends, married no kids we did talk about sex a little. Girls night out when my group of friends all had one or two babies we did talk about sex occasionally. |
“I have a feeling that the details are not without the most salacious or entertaining spin on it.” You lost me again, ESO. What do you mean? |
BTW, I didn’t say it was a book club. It’s just a group of friends. One time when I got home they were dyeing each other’s hair. Another time they had been looking through this sex book. They just get together and have fun. I wasn’t suggesting that these discussions take place at church, just that these women are all LDS and they do talk about sex in great detail quite frequently. |
But Mcq what intrigues me about you guys is, do your wives then come home and tell you in great detai? Never never have I had that discussion with anyone! |
I suspect that the culture that is Texas figures into this somewhere. |
But Mcq what intrigues me about you guys is, do your wives then come home and tell you in great detai? Never never have I had that discussion with anyone! And I’ve never told Bill about anything my friends might have said about their sex lives. Honestly? |
At the risk of repeating myself, do you guys really discuss your friends’ sex lives with your wives? Do they talk about it while you listen? Bill would die. He’d leave the house. |
annegb, I suspect it’s a generational thing. I can’t imagine my parents discussing this kind of thing but yes, my wife and my sisters told me about discussions they had with their friends and I have told my wife things my friends have told me about their sex lives. To me, it’s just an interesting subject, not something to be embarassed about, but I know some others feel differently. |
MCQ–excuse me when you entered a little discussion about book groups with the phrase “my wife’s group,” I interpreted that as a book group. I think we agree that discussions occur within close groups of friends, but the post and many of the subsequent comments were about “polite company.” I don’t include close friends in that group. Just me? |
I asked Bill if he ever talked about sex with his friends and he said “heavens no!” Then, quietly, “there’s not much to discuss.” I watched “The Talk” yesterday, a sick day spent in bed and Sharon Osbourne said she and Ozzie had sex every weekday between the news and David Letterman. The younger women sort of stared at her in shock. I was thinking who would want to sleep with him that often? Lately, my menopausal friends all agree that sex is over-rated. That’s all we say about it. I’ve heard that changes once menopause is over. |
ESO, many of the comments were not focused on book grops that I could tell. Comments 3 and 4 said they never talked about sex with LDS women. I took never to mean, well, never. Not just referring to book groups. So you’re saying you do talk about sex with your LDS friends? Just not in your book group? annegb, all I can say is, God bless Sharon and Ozzie. |
we were smoking some weed in my buddys cousins storage shed once and he mentioned something about mormon mom syndrome… something about pent up sexual repression or something… don’t remember all the details… I don’t know if that counts as polite company… he might be onto something though.. |
If any of my former girlfriends join the church and compare notes, I’m dead meat. |
@ #30 “…he might be onto something though..” Oh, he’s onto something all right. |
This is the most I’ve talked about sex in a long long time. It’s really funny how something that was hugely important in my twenties-thirties becomes secondary to one’s cholesterol count and fiber. |
We’re not actually talking about sex, annegb. We’re just talking about talking about sex. |
Meta-discussion (n): |
man… I was right about something… Awesome. |
