You are a strange guy. But I guess I knew that. I worry about your nutrition though. You will die soon on that diet. Didn’t your mother teach you about vegetables?

There’s a lot here to like, but as resident of Fresno, I must speak up for the raisin. It is the king of dried fruits.

Once on a scout camp I saw a kid squeeze an entire container of French’s mustard into his mouth and swallow it. He won almost 5 bucks.

Wow. Most people have an inner child – I think in your case it’s an inner-bachelor. I do agree with you on the white-cheddar Cheez-its. Best-snack-ever.

Amen on Ckn and a Biscuit. Wonderful cracker.

“I have simple tastes. For years I ate mostly Big Macs. In college I ate mostly pizza — warm for dinner, cold for breakfast and lunch.”

Did you get your cholesterol checked after a couple of years of living like this?

Wow, I hate to be disloyal to my husband but I’m suddenly fantasizing about the what-might-have-been. I used to eat like that when I was single (although I often made the same meals over and over again rather than ordering them).

I’ve always said that the way to ruin an otherwise scrumptious cinnamon roll is to put raisins in it. And what’s the worst part of trail mix? That’s right; it’s the raisins. I’m also not surprised that the last remaining granola bars in the snack box at work are always the oatmeal raisin ones.

This is the best post I’ve read in ages.

The only thing I can eat in excess are Tostitos tortilla chips with a hint of lime.
I’m pretty damn sure I’ve consumed an entire bag in the first few hours of a road trip.

Tracy, DKL, I’m impressed that you guys were able to leave the house stoned. I wouldn’t have dared (when I was younger, of course).

I dislike raisins intensely as well. Any kind of dried fruit grosses me out.

Marta, #2, I thought the same thing! I would like to just try marijuana once before I die. Just once, to say I did. As it stands, I first saw marijuana in a relief society meeting. We were supposed to know what it smelled like, but I don’t have a good sense of smell. So when my dying friend smoked it, I never smelled it either. I only knew when I caught her in the act. Heck, if I were dying, I would do all sorts of drugs, for the fun of it before I died.

DKL, I eat like you, isn’t that just wrong to eat like that when you’re almost 60? It’s all part of my growing old without growing up goal. We eat “normal” ie healthy when Bill’s home, but when he leaves, I eat whatever is easiest and right in front of me.

Although if I go to the store, I buy all kinds of good stuff, crab, good cheese, piles of trashy magazines. Me and the dogs have a good time.

One of my favorite foods is the really cheap pizzas. Bill now stocks them in the freezer. I eat half hot and the other half the next morning. No lie.

I don’t eat catsup though. I used to when I was a child. But now I put away childish things. Well, one childish thing.

When Sarah was first pregnant, she ate tons of mustard. Mustard has a lot of vitamin B. So people who crave it must have a vitamin deficiency. Probably the same with cheese puffs–they must have some vitamin in them people need.

Every once in awhile, I eat a whole pile of tomatoes, with a pound of salt. Yum!

My eating habits gross Bill out. My first husband called me “garbage gut.” Well, the truth doesn’t hurt. It is what it is.

Man, I HATE raisins in cookies. Take a perfectly good cookie and ruin it with raisins. Why would people do such things? The only thing worse is ruining a cookie with peanut butter. Yuk.

Don’t go to Arby’s and order an “apple turnover.” It’s bait and switch. It says “apple turnover” on the menu. You ask for an apple turnover. They smile and ring it up as if an apple turnover is exactly what they’re going to give you. You pull it out of the bag and look at what seems to be flaky icing-covered goodness. And then you bite into it and discover that they’ve substituted a raisin and apple turnover for the apple turnover they promised. Somebody should sue.

I had a college mentor who loved mustard. He said that growing up in the early 50s, he would make a mustard sandwich and take it to school for lunch. The teacher finally saw it and sent a social worker out to his house, figuring they were too poor to afford meat for their sandwiches. His mom was so embarrassed, she forbade him from bringing mustard sandwiches to school ever again. He still loves mustard, though.

I hate raisins in cookies. I love this post. And I’ve never even been stoned.

I was high as a kite once and had the munchies so I walked to the gas station for some chips and whatever else I don’t remember but the total came up to 4.20 I couldn’t stop laughing.

More raisins for me! Love them in cookies and especially cake- the squishier and bloatier the better. If only there were raisin pop-tarts. Then you’d have something.

gst — So wrong, the king of dried fruits is apricots. Possibly dates.

DKL — Love this post. And I’m finding myself really hungry for Chicken in a Biscuit crackers (that vague, chicken stock-like flavor does make them seem like a meal).

For breakfast this morning I had oatmeal with raisins, and it was delicious. I also like oatmeal raisin cookies.

Maybe there’s a brand of organic chewing tobacco called RAISIN Chewing Tobacco. “We’re Nature’s Chewing Tobacco”

Kristine,
You are supposed to mix the Mustard with mayo. It’s the only true and living* Fry Sauce that has not been led away by the foolish traditions of our fathers.

The use of “True and living” does not in any way intend to convey endorsement of this comment by the only true and living nathan.