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| Sunday, May 19, 2013 |
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Although I agree with your blessing details, I would dare say it is more a reflection of the father than of any consequence to his daughter. His daughter will not be negatively affected by that blessing one iota. Baby blessings, imo, are more for the parents and maybe siblings than anyone else. They are actions of faith, showing Father their faith in Him in blessing their child received from Him. Father sees fit to bless the baby according the the baby’s needs, when the baby is in need, whether or not a sexist, or limited-scope father sees fit to mention it. |
You’d have to compare the same father to his daughters vs. sons. My husband has had boys and girls, I don’t think he has done the detailed list you describe for any of them. I don’t really remember, but I can’t remember temples,marriage or missions or college or leadership being mentioned. |
I think you’re looking too much into it considering it’s not your blessing to begin with. I also agree with what dallske said in the first comment about the blessing being more for the parents than anything else. Don’t most people forget the blessings anyway? |
One of the problems some priesthood holders have is the realisation that they are are not patriarchal blessings. I often see priesthood holders going into a great amount of detail about future events. This seems to be part of our culture now though. For me these blessings are three fold: 1. To be recorded |
1. dallske – Fair point that it reflects the father, but that is the point. I am shocked at how the blessings sound like something you would have heard in the 1950s – it is frightening to me… 2. jks – agreed, I did say that it is not all blessings but more than I am comfortable with 3. NewlyHousewife – fair it is none of my business on an individual level, but it does reflect on the Church as a whole when we are continually pushing women into very discrete boxes (and men as well), which I believe is not helpful. 4. Deacon – These blessings are not recorded though |
I don’t think its your place to criticize other Fathers giving baby blessings. The blessings are given under the inspiration of the spirit and you should leave well enough alone. |
They’re both right, Devyn. I haven’t noticed any sexism in baby blessings, but I sure have noticed a lot of scared, nervous first-time fathers. :) Sexism exists in our church, of course, but I don’t think what you’re pointing out amounts to much of anything to worry about. |
Sorry, when I started this, there were only two responses. |
6 – bbell – why not? Yes, it may be inspired but the reality is it reflects our culture as well. So to me it is open game. 8 – annegb – thanks – I am not worried about it, but it certainly does bother me a little… |
There’s also the fact that most new dads are running on next to 0 hours of sleep. ;) I don’t expect anyone to give a ground-breaking blessing but to do whatever the grandfathers–or older priesthood holding relatives– advise them to (which would explain why somethings do seem to come out of the 50s). |
Devyn S – The blessings are not recorded but the purpose of the blessing is (which is what I meant) i.e. as a result the child is on the records of the church. |
This is almost undoubtedly true. Is it any more troubling, though, than any number of other common practices in the Church, like: having three-year-olds wear ties so they look like a missionary, teaching our YW to be homemakers rather than helping them gain a testimony, spending (easily) twice as much money on each YM as we spend on each YW, actively discouraging interested YW from serving missions and being endowed? |
Education is important for both men and women. Over the years general authorities have encouraged women to get as much education as possible. The same is true with leadership. Men and women can both hold leadership positions. |
10. NewlyHousewife – that is true that 0 hours of sleep is the norm and does explain why they are not groundbreaking, and also why they revert to the rhetoric. 11. Deacon – ah got it – thanks for clarifying 12. ESO – sadly no – thanks for deflating the rest of my balloon… 13. Anonymous – the education issue has been a very mixed message – “get an education, get married as soon as possible and start a family”. You can’t have it all… |
Fathers’ Blessings DO reflect a culture, no matter how extreme their blessing is. I would venture to say this is the best place to actually criticize the blessings since most other forums may be inappropriate to said inspiration given to the father. Sexism is also present, albeit more on the local level than on the broader levels nowadays, hence the mixed message. GA’s have to encourage with broad strokes, yet the sexism on the bottom levels which started years ago will be hard to completely eradicate given the recent change. I could only hope the culture is changing, however slowly that change is. Sexism is diminishing, extreme blessings are less and less, ties on little boys is not wrong, only in the eyes of the beholder. There are also plenty of misquoting of GA’s, misrepresenting ideas and false doctrine as well. |
dallske – nicely stated thank you. I too hope that the culture is changing – sometimes I am hopeful, other times not so much… |
I have blessed one son and two daughters. All three received the same blessing to be able to go on a mission. The girls’ blessings received comments that I thought were a little odd. |
Damien – do tell? Was it because you blessed them that they would serve missions? |
My husband blessed our baby girl this past Sunday. A friend and I wrote down the things he said – something I have seen done for everything from confirmations to setting-apart, so I personally felt it was appropriate. The blessing did not include anything about a temple marriage or mission or family. It did include blessings that she might learn to be kind, brave, teachable, and wise, and that she will be able to derive comfort and instruction from the Spirit, and comfort the afflicted. I thought it was beautiful. |
I think it’s really individual for each father. Some fathers are going to go more in-depth than others. My own father gave us long blessings, but I have heard some fathers give very brief blessings. We had a baby boy blessed in our ward last month, and all that was mentioned was health, something about faith, and then becoming a good father. No other attributes, or mentions of leadership, mission, or education. It lasted maybe 45 seconds. I did ask the father about that(he’s a direct sort, so I didn’t feel awkward about asking). He said that as long as his children are healthy, faithful, and become good parents, then everything else is just icing on the cake. I prefer the more in-depth blessings, but I can see his point. Perhaps the father in your ward feels the same way? |
19. xenologue – that is nice to record it. I wish I would have done that. 20. Kaye – that could be the case. |
I tended to give long ones (I’m all done now with this ordinance, my youngest is 11). I also made it a matter of prayer and contemplation what I would say beforehand. I try to never say anything in a blessing (of any type) for which I don’t get spiritual confirmation for the general concept involved. My daughter’s blessing was as detailed as either of my two son’s blessings were, and in subsequent years she has tended to ask for more blessings. Given that I married a Ph.D. chemist/physicist i had no “sexist” bias in either the prep work for the blessing or in what was pronounced. Oh, one last thing, I firmly believe if they are given by the Spirit blessings can absolutely change circumstances and outcomes. |
Thanks John – I like the approach you took to the blessings. |
(Been gone awhile, but slowly coming back.) You don’t need to give a blessing to have the baby recorded on the records, just sign a form. In fact, the name given at the blessing is of no consequence. The name on the paperwork (the one actually sritten down) is the one that counts. |
Queuno – Welcome back! Fair point. My birth certificate name was different from my blessing name which was different from my Church name. Finally all sorted out when I was 10… |
My patriarchal blessing was chock full of pursuing my career and my education, more so than anything else! It was very atypical for a 14 year old girl to receive that kind of blessing and I’d never met the patriach in my life. I’m not saying it was divine inspiration but that maybe there is a typical baby girl blessing because there it a typical grown mormon woman? |
Whitney – I think you are right that there is a typical baby girl blessing because of our culture that seems to enforce conformity.. |
