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You gotta love the Handbook. In my ward it is as it use to be in your ward. I was baptized on my birthday. Then again, we don’t have that many baptisms that there would ever be more than one child baptized in the same month. I can understand that wards with lots of children may have it tiresome to arrange many services a month. |
Time for families in your ward to rise up and vote with their feet. There is no law saying you have to be baptized in your ward building. You could get creative and find an alternative font in a neighboring building, stake center, whatever. And when you are asked why you are scheduling the font in an alternative place, explain that family members, etc. couldn’t attend on the prescribed day. |
Yeah–a number of families around here have done baptisms in various local bodies of water (even the Susquehana river, which is not very local)–so that is definitely one way to do it. Of course, is only viable for children with birthdays during a certain non-frigid window of the year. Had not thought of using other LDS buildings–I wonder what the reaction would be from those bishops/stake presidents? |
I hate how many stakes turn baptisms into an assembly-line occasion. It turns what should be a special event into something much more mundane. I grew up in a stake where anywhere from three to six children were baptized each month, one right after the other. We didn’t even have our own baptismal service. In my last ward, we had a tiny primary, and were far enough from the stake center that all baptisms were performed at the ward house. Those baptisms seemed much more like a special event. One more reason to move out of the Mormon Corridor (and perhaps even the West). |
Our stake in Texas has a single mass baptismal service once a month. The opening exercises are done together then wards are excused one at a time to perform the baptisms and then the wards have confirmation services in their respective assigned rooms. While everything is planned by the stake and ward primary presidencies, they often ask the families for input. I wasn’t overjoyed with the experience. But I can understand the effort to reduce the burden on those priesthood and axillary leaders who would have to attend multiple baptisms in a month if it were done differently. Ultimately though, I think this is a mandate that is driven by the high birth rates in certain wards in Utah, and isn’t really necessary in other places. Think about it, if a member of the bishopric and ward primary presidency must attend the mass stake baptism every month, then you would need to have more than 12 kids in the CTR 8 class to average out to a greater burden on those people than if you had individual baptisms. If you had multiple kids in a month, those families could be asked to cooperate and plan something together on the same day. Even with multiple kids from the ward (who are hopefully friends and whose families know each other) it would be better than the mass stake baptisms that are becoming more common. |
I think it’s also an effort to reduce what has become in Utah almost a wedding reception like event. Custom photo invitations, a personalized cake, the fancy white dress, the portrait, the custom video played while child is changing, the gifts–baptisms here have become all about the child, and they’re trying to bring it back to the ordinance. |
I can understand the stake/assembly-line thing but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. In my stake there are so many children that sometimes I think our stake center does more baptisms than the temple. (Fine I’ll admit I tend to exaggerate.) Maybe I’ll just take my kids down to the Jordan River for their baptisms. |
I was baptized assembly line style. My son will be baptized that way next month. That method makes me a little sad. It seems to me that the handbook leaves plenty of room for interpretation here. If you have multiple baptisms each month then it might make sense to have them done on the Saturday prior to Fast & Testimony Meeting. Oddly, the rationale for that was that children were confirmed in that meeting. Now that is no longer the case, so there is no longer any need to be anchored to a particular Saturday. I fail to see how in a ward that has baptismal services once every few months how it would be contrary to the handbook to sit down with the family and ask them when they would like the service to be conducted. In any case, I keep hearing stories about members of the 12 (specifically President Packer) telling people to put the handbook up high on a shelf and not worry too much about it. The whole point of a bishopric is to have people to minister to the members of the ward. Not to have people to administer the ward. There is a huge difference. One treats the members as individuals (and frankly on the day an 8 year old is baptized they should be the most important person in the ward.) The other treats the ward itself as a machine that needs to be kept running. It seems that your bishop might have lost sight of this difference. |
#6 – I can see your point about it quickly becoming over the top, but can’t we find a happy center that means each child gets their special baptism day? If we must squash all attempts at individualism then I say quit making getting baptized a big deal at all. Why have Primary lessons about it? Why sing songs in sacrament mtg. about how great it is to be baptized? Lets be real. Most 8 year-olds do not have the emotional maturity to appreciate 1/10 of what baptism means. What they do know is how loved and appreciated they felt on that day. And why can’t we have baptisms on Sunday, before or after church? That way the whole ward can attend. |
Our oldest child was baptized assembly line, 14 other children in the stake that day, 4 others from our ward. The Stake would not consent even to our ward having its own service. The Stake President said if the sacrament can be the holiest ordinance and no one gets a special tray all to themselves, why should baptism be any different? It was awful. My husband and son wore the only jumpsuits left–adult small–and neither one looked fit for the occasion. (My husband is over 6feet tall–a dress would have been far more modest) It was dreadfully boring while we waited our turn, and then chaotic as we all rushed back to the font. The mother of the girl who went first in our group was barely in the hallway when her daughter went under the water. I have no idea who the witnesses for our ward were. I vowed never again. Our first and third daughters were baptized out of state, with their own services. Family got to be there, we got to plan it, but they didn’t get friends and teachers there. Our second daughter’s baptism was shared with two other boys, and we were involved in the planning process (but I would redo that one, push it back a month since we hosted everyone less than two weeks after a move–yikes) I’m not sure how it will work for our youngest two. Have a couple of years to figure that out… |
I forgot to add that the missionary who spoke at my son’s baptism started out by saying that he had no idea how to speak to 8 year olds and wasn’t going to bother trying to put anything on their level, so sorry if you were expecting that. @@ |
Don’t remember much about my assembly-line baptism. Pretty sure most don’t anyway. If it is deemed to have a once-a-month baptismal service, than why not a once-a-month baby blessing service? Surely each baby does not need to be the center of attention for something that isn’t even a soul-saving ordinance. |
“The point is to remove the personal and familial influence from the experience.” That quote made me die a little inside. |
Goes to show that any moron can interpret the handbook how he wants. Give a guy a little authority….. |
I have seen wonderful baptism services that involve several kids. There’s no reason why they can’t be good just because they are group events. They can be personal and beautiful and fun. Why does it have to be an “assmbly line?” Just do whatever you want to do to make it a nice service. At my daughter’s baptism, all the moms spoke about their kids, a member of the bishopric gave a great talk, each of the kids got to choose a song that we all sang, there was great food afterwards, it was awesome. |
MCQ, The logistics of a large event can make it impersonal. I have seen stake baptisms with a dozen of more kids getting baptized, each with a large contingent of family there. It can take an hour after the program is done just to get to the room with the font. While I enjoy singing primary songs as much as the next guy (almost not at all) an hour of that is enough to put a dent in the event. |
I live in Utah Valley, so that’s how we do it here. What they do, though, is the opening bit with the talk about baptism is done together, then each child (maybe it’s each ward, but I’ve yet to go to one with more than 1 kid per ward per month) and their entourage are taken to the font, do the baptism, then move to another room to do the confirmation and talk on the Holy Ghost and such all of which is planned by the child or their parents. I’m okay with it, I see both sides. |
arJ. You live in Sandy, right? The only problem there is there are just so darn many kids. At my daughter’s baptism there were five. That’s a whole different deal. |
I must just be lazy, because I always tend to sympathize more with the people who will lose most of a Saturday for every baptism because they have to fill the font, set up chairs, etc. It really is a lot of work and it takes a lot of time to fill a baptismal font. People who are not the ones doing it do not appreciate the significant time commitment to taking care of physical facilities needs for these events. Of course, it boggles the mind that someone wouldn’t make an exception for a soldier on leave from Iraq. |
In our stake, we do a group baptism once a month (every kid in the stake who has turned 8 prior to that date). I would say there are about six baptizees on average at these events. Volunteers from each family are asked to fulfill some role in the program. I don’t know what happens when there are more families to be represented than there are roles. I reckon some folks just luck out and don’t have to participate at all in their kid’s baptism service, aside from watching. (I would have been happy to do that myself. Usually, though, I get stuck leading the music. Which I HATE to do.) However, I have seen programs that included multiple talks on baptism or the Holy Ghost, which I think is just awful. (The multiple talks part, I mean. The Holy Ghost is fine.) With our third child, we got to have a slightly more intimate service because our son is autistic and wouldn’t have made it through one of those monster opening exercises. Instead we had a smaller-scale program with the other family in our ward with a child getting baptized that month. It was on the same date and at the same time as the mega-program, but we got to have our singing & talking part in the RS room (adjacent to the font) while everyone else was in the chapel. And our son got to be baptized first, so no waiting. That is the worst part about those mega-baptisms. All the waiting. |
@12 Actually, in my TX ward, babies can only be blessed on the first Sunday of the month and no other. As a result, about half the blessings have been conducted a members’ homes when they can actually do something nice like accommodate the schedules of both sets of grandparents. Currently we average about 2 births a month in our ward – so the net result is typically one baby being baptized on the specified Sunday each month. I suspect my ward also has the “group baptism” policy, but at this time there’s usually only one kid turning 8 in a given month. (Though that’ll change if the 2 births a month kids stick around for the next 8 years.) |
Interesting responses. Maybe I should feel lucky that my ward is just talking about grouping as a ward–it sounds like most of you guys are conscripted to stake programs, which would defineitly be less personal, longer, and more chaotic. I have never seen an individual baptism service cross over the line to wedding reception kind of behavior, but I can undertsand leadership wanting to avoid that. My first child will be eligible for baptism next year, and I guess we’ll just wait and see what happens. I think I have some good options and reasons that a private service would work better for us. We’ll see how the first half of the year goes. |
When we built our building about 15 years ago, one of the options we asked for was a font. Being a small ward, and only ward, using it, it was easy to make the child baptisms a family-planned affair. They work great, as long as the font is filled slooooowly (only a home size hot water tank). My own 1960 stake level baptism was a crowded affair, several months after my birthday, due to a flue epidemic which closed down all public & church meetings. All I remember was the crowd and how long it took. The family planned services are much nicer. |
At the start of this year, our ward went to the group/not planned by family/once a month baptism policy. This is a first for us and the change was NOT well received. A member of the Bishopric plans the baptisms and random ward members are asked to participate. In the past, of course, families planned their own services and asked folks to participate who had ties to the child/ren. We do have a rather large Primary (about 150 kids) for the “mission field” and for the past few years the CTR7 class has had 12-15 kids. I know, because my husband and I teach this age group. As a mom, I feel for the unhappy parents who want a more “special” service, but as a Primary teacher, I like the new policy. We make every effort to attend all the baptisms and in the past, one or the other of us were often asked to speak, which we really enjoy doing, but there were stretches where we’d be attending and speaking at a baptism every Saturday…most of which were held in the middle of the day. The primary presidency would send 1 representative and there’d be a representative from the bishopric, but my husband and I were obligated to attend each and every one. Don’t get me wrong, we LOVE “our” kids and feel honored to attend their baptisms, but giving up half our Saturdays right in the middle of the day was difficult, especially on those occasions when this was 2 or 3 weeks in a row. It’s a lot easier this year, knowing we’ll only have at most one baptism a month and they’re all held at 10 am on Saturdays. So far, the most kids baptized at once was 4- and these kids/families all know each other, so at least there’s that. So, yeah, I’m torn between my “mom” feelings and my “teacher” feelings. |
Yikes, I really didn’t mean to complain. We really enjoy attending baptisms, but I just wanted to point out that there are factors to consider and sacrifices being made that might otherwise not be thought about. Really, we do feel honored to attend each baptism. I’ll just go away now ;) |
During my wife’s previous marriage — living up along the ‘bench’ in northeast Provo — she said that there would often be 40-60 kids baptized in her stake each month. The kids would be baptized alphabetically, and since her married surname was ‘Vivian’, their kids would be among the last. On the other hand, I’m not sure how a stake would handle 40 to 60 individual baptismal services a month. The real solution is to move out of Utah and into an area where your child is likely to be the only person baptized in a given month. :-) ..bruce.. |
“once a month” does not mean it has to always be the Xth Saturday or Sunday. There sounds like there is still room within the handbook’s guidelines for the Bishopric or primary presidence to choose which day of the month to do the baptisms for that ward. And I agree that the CoR baptisms should be on the ward level, not the stake level. |
Kim–I actually think that that issue is a main driver. Not for the primary teacher (who would be welcomed, but certainly not expected), but for the bishopric. Personally, I don’t care if a memeber of the bishopric attends or “welcomes” my child into the Church. Ditto for the primary presidency. If they want to come, fine, but it’s not make it or break it for me. 3 priesthood members, one to perform the ordinance and 2 to witness, seems adequate. I’d much rather have family members there than people who feel pressed to attend only because of their calling. |
My father-in-law was baptized in Idaho months after his winter birthday. The priest assigned the task that day happened to be a second cousin, but that was just coincidence. His description sounded like a sort of spring roundup. When our third child was baptized, it was a stake service involving a half dozen children. It was a very nice service. When our oldest was approaching age for baptism, I became aware that the apostle’s grandson in his Primary class had a birthday within a week or so of my son’s, and I wondered how that would play out. Would my mother-in-law and the apostle’s wife by the ones giving talks at a joint service? (I’ve attended more joint services where two or three children were baptized than otherwise.) As the time approached, my family was asked to plan a program involving just our child, and almost simultaneously it was announced that the stake would hold a previously unscheduled stake conference in a few weeks, presided over by the apostle in question. |
A couple of years ago this was muted in Australia, within a few months it had died out and kids now have individual family baptisms. I have been to one of my grandchildrens baptism earlier this year (at which I spoke) and will be going to another in October. Both live in Canberra and we live in Brisbane 1300k away. Not sure we’d bother for a mass affair. I had assumed everywhere was the same. Remember the moonies with mass weddings. |