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Both Wilford Woodruff and Brigham Young also were divorced. |
There you go. I learned something new today. |
I think more valuable and eye opening (for you Mormons, well i’m technically a Mormon too…) might be hearing what his first wife has to say about HIM. |
So Jane Eyre. I wonder if Mormons view divorce as somehow more acceptable, perhaps more inevitable, in polygamous unions than monogamous ones. When a man had as many wives as Brigham Young did, for example, odds are greater that some of those relationships wouldn’t work well. Also, if some polygamy was a place-holder, just an opportunity for a woman to be married who may not otherwise marry, then when an acceptable marriage comes along, a divorce would not be a tragedy, right? Because the commitment of the monogamous marriage is fundamentally different from the commitment of a polygamous one, it seems a divorce from one person, rather than from a group, family, or even lifestyle, is very different as well. Now fast forward a hundred years, add the modern romanticism and need we seem to have as a culture for our religious leaders to have and share with us their soul-mate relationships, and a youthfull marriage to someone who turns out to be mentally ill (perhaps) or just difficult, and, well, a divorce seems like it would certainly dampen his Church career, or maybe cap it. |
Eso- I don’t know about B.Y.- but in JFS case, he was very clear that polygamy was not the cause of his divorce. “It was not until long after my second marriage that my first wife was drawn from us, not on account of domestic troubles, but for other causes. In eight years of wedded life we had no children. She constantly complained of ill health and was as constantly under a doctor’s care. She concluded to go to California for her health and before going procured a separation.” (Life of Joseph F. Smith, page 231) I am thinking in our times, JFS approach to having a “senstive” wife would be frowned upon. If he was called into a demanding position and his wife couldn’t handle it, I am assuming he would be released and no further demands would be made on him. At JFS time it wasn’t unusual for men to be sent on long-term assignments and the wife was expected to just suck it up. This is the first time I know of a prominent marriage that didn’t survive the demands of church leadership. |
I had no idea. |
Remind me to steal from your library more often. |
I too would like to know what JFS’s wife had to say about him. I would like to know what quite a few wives had to say about their president-husbands. |
I think this information will prove useful to my friend, whose husband was divorced, so thinks he will never be a bishop. She’s a good person, but kind of ambitious church wise. |
annegb, Unfortunately, your friend’s spouse will never be a Bishop. As with many things in the post-Heber J. Grant era, divorce has become a dis-qualifying event for the calling of that office. Just as we have now made WoW compliance a full requirement (Joseph, Brigham, Lorenzo, and Woodruff were all users of tobacco and/or drinkers of alcohol) and have denied certain Church offices to gays (the last official Patriarch of out Church was a sexually-active homosexual as were some prominent members of the Tabernacle Choir) so has divorce now become a dis-qualifier for Bishops and CES employees. As Elder McConkie so eloquently stated, further light and knowledge has come into the world and the rules have changed (or something along those lines). |
Annegb, |
Michael–I’ve had a bishop who had been divorced. I’ve also had one who had been excommunicated. |
Interesting. They must have been an exception to the CHI. |
Nice to see a post about learning from the brethren. |
My current stake president and a former bishop have been divorced. Actually, my folks former Bishop got divorced while he was serving and he is now remarried and is on the High Council but isn’t active along with another High Councilor. I had heard a rumour that Elder Charles Didier of the 70 had been divorced but I doubt it’s true. I don’t see why divorce would change anything for future church callings. Divorce is a legal matter and not a sin. You could be the biggest barfbag and married be the Bishop but the most Christlike guy and single but marriage seems to be the ticket into the cool kid table |
Steamtrain, There are many who argue that divorce is a sin. Matthew chapter 19 is very clear and unambiguous. |
I believe I had read that John Taylor and Lorenzo Snow were also divorced |
true, and I don’t know what is worse church leaders who are “busybodies in other men’s matters” as Peter put it or divorce which first and formeost a legal matter-I think though that the causes of divorce could be sinful but not always. I am reminded of Elder Oaks’s talk about Divorce some years ago when he shared the story that “Two days after their temple marriage, a husband deserted his young wife and has not been heard from for over 10 years”. Is the women a sinner because her husband took off? should she be branded and labeled now because she should hopefully get a divorce? |
My friend was widowed in her first marriage. He was a bishop. She’s been president of RS & YW. She would love to see her husband a bishop. She loves the glory of it. |
“She would love to see her husband a bishop. She loves the glory of it.” This makes me want to puke. Your friend has a severe mental problem. |
No, she’s not crazy. She’s a natural-born leader and she married natural-born leaders. She’s also kind of conceited and thinks she’s better than others. On the other hand, she’s one of my smartest, most erudite friends and we have some pretty lively discussions. She doesn’t shy away from difficult subjects and is a wonderful teacher in Relief Society. She will accept any calling she’s called to, but does seem to want leadership roles. Manor-born, maybe? She’s not the only one, that’s for sure. It takes all kinds. I’m the opposite, been avoiding leadership my whole adult life. (I mentioned my “crazy” rep and personna yesterday to a friend who said she felt ignored, pointing out how safe it’s made me. They don’t want me to teach or speak for fear what I might say. Works for me :)) On an even more personal note, I think my husband would have been in many more leadership positions had he married a different type of woman. He’s kind of a natural-seeming leader person. Gregory Peck-ish. I’m his Mary Todd Lincoln. |
Mary Todd Lincoln didn’t keep Lincoln out of the presidency, though she created some uncomfortable moments. Some have argued that Lincoln was so good at his job because he never wanted to go home to his crazy wife. I have had a bishop who was divorced as well. It’s not a disqualifyer per se, it just makes callings like that less likely, because there is a higher level of scrutiny. I don’t know what the CHI says about it but I would be very surprised if it says that divorced people cannot be called to leadership positions like that. Ambition in the Church is not a good thing. If people want to serve in high callings, hopefully they want to do it because of the opportunity to grow and learn and serve. If it’s for recognition and honor, it will not turn out well. I have seen this happen over and over again. |
I think these are points that should be discussed in class. It leads to real discussion and shows that prophets are human just like the rest of us and depend on the grace of the good Lord to make it through life. Thanks for sharing…I just may bring this up in class sometime! |
Living in Zion – that is a really interesting post. Had not heard that story before reading this – thanks for putting this up. |
Back in my BYU days, this was something that crossed my mind every time I walked by the Joseph F. Smith Family Living Center. |
I know a guy (personally) who had an affair while he was a bishop. He was excommunicated (he went to every members house to tell them)for seven years, then re-baptized and called to be a bishop again. He is actually a pretty cool guy, but what he did was terrible. His wife stayed with him. I think the church is becoming more compassionate about many things–less excommunications than in the old days. So it would seem logical to me that more and more divorced men will be bishops, rather than less. Didn’t some of Joseph Smith’s wives divorce him? I don’t think it quite counts if plural marriage is involved. I’d like to hear about a nice messy divorce that ended righteously for all concerned. Hopeful, you know. |
Michael – I believe that your Patriarch to the Church/Presiding Patriarch reference is correct as to the penultimate patriarch: Joseph Fielding Smith (not the same JFS who became President). I’ve not seen mention of homosexual behavior (or even same-sex attraction) regarding emeritus patriarch Eldred G. Smith. |
annegb, that’s a very tough story to hear, but also very hopeful. I feel for that bishop and the whole ward for having to go through that, but ultimately it makes me feel very good that he was able to return to full activity and even be called to be bishop again. |
Is that gay guy still in the bishopric somewhere? |
He’s actually just an executive secretary, but yeah, I think he’s still serving in that calling. |