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Fear Factor – Mission Style

As you all have been repeatedly reminded, as in every. single. post. (Almost. I hate people who exaggerate) I work in the natural/complementary/voodoo medicine field. This gives me amazing access to all kinds of borderline creepy, yucky cool stuff at low, low wholesale prices that I can then inflate to take advantage of poor, uninformed desperately ill people. Depending on which side of hopelessly sick you are on, I am either your best friend or the sister of Satan. Perspective is everything, baby. But I digress from today’s Hot Topic.

Today we will be exploring the great Mormon tradition of feeding the missionaries. Read more »

For Your Entertainment

Life feels a bit heavy this week. Time for a distraction from reality. I am sending you a treat, my favorite LDS classic. I Loved it as a teenager and it still makes me smile. Have a great day and enjoy the fun!

I am Treading Lightly Here

I am deathly afraid of even bringing this up. I know I will be pounced on and eaten for lunch. I hope I’m not. I hope annegb and internet friends will take this in the spirit intended and not flay the messenger. I bruise easy, folks. Ok (deep breath) here goes:

Did ya hear that Elizabeth Smart got married? I picked up this week’s copy of People magazine which sports Elizabeth on the cover in her wedding dress. Lovely article inside. I won’t give the details away, but here is the link on the net.


I tried to make it link properly, if it didn’t work, just go to people.com.

Here’s my question and please, please, please, don’t hurt me: Read more »

My Advice to Presidential Candidates


1. Good job letting the gray/white in on the hair. Use less hair spray–or whatever makes it so shiny. Get it layered and shortened, but not in the back, so you’re not combing it back on the side. Go shorter.

2. Take a day off. Don’t shave. Put on some good levis and a T-shirt. Have a picture taken early in the morning when you take out the trash. Or some other menial labor that really rich people do….jog with your teenage grandson? Look a bit miffed when caught, then laugh, and make a joke written by uh, Ray Romano. Or Jon Stewart. Either one. Read more »

I Abstain

I took a young gay friend to lunch last spring—had such a good time. He’s smart and kind and funny. His mother is a best friend and has had a hard time accepting her son’s sexual orientation. I felt sort of cool because I do accept it–disloyal to my friend at the same time.

I love this young man. I’ve literally known him since he was born and changed more than one of his diapers. I didn’t notice anything different about him as he grew up, one of my daughter’s closest friends. They became engaged in first grade–she dumped him for another guy and regretted it, but he was in love by then with another first grader. He took her to Sweetheart’s. His mother and I seeing these two beautiful kids and wondering if they were meant to be. Read more »

When a Child is Gay

I have very interesting people as clients. When you are in the natural/alternative/complementary health field, pretty much all stripes of people come to see you. Over the years I have been privileged to share client’s very personal and private pain. You see, physical pain can affect you emotionally and emotional pain can affect you physically. Heavenly Father has gifted us with intricately detailed bodies where injuries in one part can affect other parts. I’m sure there is a logical reason for that, but when it is your parts that are suffering, it is no fun.

One of the most stunning conundrums I have faced repeatedly is the pain and confusion that comes when a parent acknowledges their child is gay (or whatever the latest politically correct term for it is.)

I have had a staunchly devout Catholic mother of a gay son talk to me about the anger she has towards her religions policy regarding same-sex attraction. She attends every church meeting but her blood boils while she sits in the pew. Her high blood pressure and migraine headaches always flare up after Mass.

I have had evangelical Christian parents explain that they used up their retirement account to send their sexually-sinning child to a Christian re-programming camp to help fix his problem of liking guys. Their insomnia and chronic stomach problems reflect their worry.

I’ve had a Lutheran mother call me on the weekend, sobbing because she found gay porn on her college age son’s computer after she paid for three years of Christian counseling through high school so he could be freed from his sins and find a good girl to marry in college. She takes prescription anxiety meds that were started right right after her then jr. high school son told her he didn’t like girls.

I’ve had a 20 something male client who suffered life-debilitating panic attacks from years of professional and religious programs that were attempting to cure his gayness. He was from a Southern Baptist family and what he wanted most in the world was to make his parents proud by marrying in the church and having a proper family. But he couldn’t do it.

In all of these situations I have been overwhelmed by the burden these people have carried. In every instance all I could do is tell them I believe that no matter what, a parent’s love for their child is never wrong.

I believe that this is one topic that will be sorted out properly by Heavenly Father in the next life. I choose not to condemn anyone’s child for their sexuality. If the family belongs to a church that considers it a sin, that is a painful process to make peace with. But not one that means parents need to disown their child.

As one Mormon mother joked with me about her returned-missionary gay son, “He has decided he still has his Mormon faith, just not the Mormon Church.” Her son and his same-sex partner spend the Sabbath reading the scriptures and doing service work. That is how they are going to honor God until they can fully participate in Church services, whether in this life or the next. They seem at peace with their decision and I gotta say, their physical bodies seem at peace, too.

Here’s To You, Brother Davis Jesus Loves You More Than You Can Know

Today I sat in Sacrament Meeting while the youth took turns speaking about Seminary, the youth program designed to give high school kids religious education. They extolled how awesome it is, how they are memorizing scriptures and working hard at meeting the class expectations while juggling their regular school classes, extra-circular actives and family responsibilities. Oh, and they attend Early Morning Seminary, which means they attend at 6am in the morning, before their regular school day begins. It was quite impressive. These are the good kids – probably even great kids. As their Seminary teacher stood up and spoke about his joy in teaching these students, he quoted the oft- repeated, “ These spirits are the Chosen Generation. I know they have been reserved to come to earth in these Last Days to do Heavenly Father’s great work.” Read more »

I Have a Sure-fired, Guaranteed Way for You Get Rich

If you have been blessed with the heavenly-anointed desire to turn your one talent into ten talents through excellent investing, stick with me. I have a knack for picking awesome new-fangled technologies.
So you don’t fall for the old “We are friends, trust me” scam, I am prepared to share today concrete examples of my wondrous abilities. You will quickly see that I know what I talking about and that will give you great comfort and confidence as you put your precious pennies to work for you. Read more »

What I Want to Know!

Obama has made the Catholic Church buy birth control!

Well, not really. Instead there is a mandate that religious institutions that run businesses that hire people outside their faith provide health insurance that covers birth control.

But that is NOT what I want to know.

I want to know if there is such a thing as a business run by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society (Jehovah’s Witnesses) and whether such a business is required to purchase health insurance that covers blood transfusions.

I have been unable to find anything online other than that they seem very concerned about thyroid health and discourage higher education.

Anybody know?


Last week in Sunday School we covered The Book of Mormon story of Nephi building a boat to take his family to the new world. For some reason I couldn’t get my mind off the topic after class ended. It has taken a full week but I have come to some new conclusions about the subject.

In class the teacher presented the example of faithful Nephi doing what the Lord commanded, even when he had no experience with shipbuilding. What an example Nephi is of righteous obedience, that is true. But is his story that unusual? I think not. I think each us, especially as a family unit, build our own boats. Read more »

Heavenly Father’s Favorite Drugs

My daughter safely returned back home from serving a church mission in Portland, Oregon. She is slowly getting desensitized back into the real world. As with all newly returned missionaries, we have enjoyed hearing stories of her service.(1)

During a recent car ride she was reminded of a mission situation that is unique to Oregon and a handful of other more liberal states. That is the church position on the use of medical marijuana.
Her mission handbook states:

“ The fact that Oregon state law allows doctors to prescribe the smoking of marijuana for “medicinal” purposes does not change the fact that marijuana remains an illegal drug according to the federal laws of the United States, and the Supreme Court of the United States specifically ruled in 2005 that federal law take precedence over state legislation in this matter. Therefore, the Church Handbook statement quoted above (“members should not use any substance that contains illegal drugs”) applies in this situation. Unless we receive different instructions from the Brethren, no individual who smokes marijuana for “medicinal purposes” can be baptized a member of the Church in this mission. The prescription drug Marinol (synthetic THC), a capsule approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, provides legal relief to those who take it. Its use under competent medical supervision is not a violation of the Word of Wisdom and therefore does not prevent a person from being baptized.” (2) Read more »