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|I Have a Sure-fired, Guaranteed Way for You Get Rich|
Feb. 9th, 2012 at 9:35 am
If you have been blessed with the heavenly-anointed desire to turn your one talent into ten talents through excellent investing, stick with me. I have a knack for picking awesome new-fangled technologies.
In order of life occurrence, here are my top seven examples that prove my abilities to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams:
1. When I was 7 years old, I found a magazine subscription insert card lying in the street. I carefully printed out my name and address and checked the box requesting a free copy of their magazine, (along with a year’s subscription for the low, low price of $2.00 per issue.) I dropped the card in a nearby mailbox and promptly forgot about it. A few weeks later, my mother demanded to know why I ordered a years worth of Mother Earth News and how I was going to pay the $24.00 bill for it. I had no answers for her, but I knew in my heart that getting back to basics and having a chicken in the backyard was cool. My mean mother made me write a letter to the company explaining my age and requesting they cancel my subscription. She did not let me keep my free introductory copy.
2. As a freshman in college I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, I had no career ambitions and no idea how to get them. All I knew for sure was that math classes were to be avoided because everyone knew with the advent of calculators that it was a waste of time to learn mathematics. Besides, I was terrible at anything harder than balancing my checkbook. Staying stupid about math was the only thing I was sure of.
3. While I was a sophomore in college I worked part-time as a file clerk in a campus office. I was asked by my boss if I wanted to learn computers. I replied, “Why would I want to learn computers? I’m an English major.” It made no sense to waste time learning about something as obscure as computers. I was being practical and sticking with useful skills. I was devoted to my electric typewriter with auto-correction, thank you very much. I got fired because they needed someone willing to learn computers.
4. The first time I heard about MP3 players I thought it was a silly idea. Who would copy all their records, cassettes (I didn’t yet have any CDs, waiting for them to get cheaper) into a tiny little stick thingy that could get lost in the washing machine? And who would listen to 150 songs stored on that thing, anyway?
5. E-mail. Nonsense. It is easier and faster to talk on the phone than to type everything out. (I still secretly believe this one.)
6. The first time I saw a video game in a pizza parlor that you just touched the screen, I admit I was interested. Until I saw it was $2.00 to play a game. What a waste of money and who cares if you can touch a screen and move things around?
7. E-readers, Smart phones, etc. – More silliness. I can get books from the library for free, I cut coupons from the newspaper and there is no reason to be 100% available by phone all the time. I am not that interesting of a person.
My life perspective on technology comes from this saying, “If you can’t eat it, wear it, sit on it, drive it, or keep yourself warm/cool, I don’t need it.”
If you want to use my wisdom to get rich, tell me what technology you are interested in. The more reasons I come up with that it is wasteful and unnecessary, the more money you should put into it. Trust me, I haven’t been wrong yet.