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|When a Child is Gay|
Feb. 17th, 2012 at 11:48 am
I have very interesting people as clients. When you are in the natural/alternative/complementary health field, pretty much all stripes of people come to see you. Over the years I have been privileged to share client’s very personal and private pain. You see, physical pain can affect you emotionally and emotional pain can affect you physically. Heavenly Father has gifted us with intricately detailed bodies where injuries in one part can affect other parts. I’m sure there is a logical reason for that, but when it is your parts that are suffering, it is no fun.
One of the most stunning conundrums I have faced repeatedly is the pain and confusion that comes when a parent acknowledges their child is gay (or whatever the latest politically correct term for it is.)
I have had a staunchly devout Catholic mother of a gay son talk to me about the anger she has towards her religions policy regarding same-sex attraction. She attends every church meeting but her blood boils while she sits in the pew. Her high blood pressure and migraine headaches always flare up after Mass.
I have had evangelical Christian parents explain that they used up their retirement account to send their sexually-sinning child to a Christian re-programming camp to help fix his problem of liking guys. Their insomnia and chronic stomach problems reflect their worry.
I’ve had a Lutheran mother call me on the weekend, sobbing because she found gay porn on her college age son’s computer after she paid for three years of Christian counseling through high school so he could be freed from his sins and find a good girl to marry in college. She takes prescription anxiety meds that were started right right after her then jr. high school son told her he didn’t like girls.
I’ve had a 20 something male client who suffered life-debilitating panic attacks from years of professional and religious programs that were attempting to cure his gayness. He was from a Southern Baptist family and what he wanted most in the world was to make his parents proud by marrying in the church and having a proper family. But he couldn’t do it.
In all of these situations I have been overwhelmed by the burden these people have carried. In every instance all I could do is tell them I believe that no matter what, a parent’s love for their child is never wrong.
I believe that this is one topic that will be sorted out properly by Heavenly Father in the next life. I choose not to condemn anyone’s child for their sexuality. If the family belongs to a church that considers it a sin, that is a painful process to make peace with. But not one that means parents need to disown their child.
As one Mormon mother joked with me about her returned-missionary gay son, “He has decided he still has his Mormon faith, just not the Mormon Church.” Her son and his same-sex partner spend the Sabbath reading the scriptures and doing service work. That is how they are going to honor God until they can fully participate in Church services, whether in this life or the next. They seem at peace with their decision and I gotta say, their physical bodies seem at peace, too.