My parents keep copies of blessings in a binder. They have theirs, their parents, grandparents, my siblings, mine, my husbands and all of my kids who have received it up to this point. I never really thought much about it. It just seems like record keeping to me. I actually lost mine and was so happy they had a copy so I could make me a copy.

We have copies of our children’s with ours in a binder. My husband felt like we should keep copies in one place. I think it’s a pretty good idea. I haven’t made it a practice to read them often, but I have read them. I tend to think that they are sacred, but not secret.

Since the first thing he says about the blessing is it “is yours and yours alone” to me it seems wrong and contradicts what he was saying to have it with someone other than the directed recipient. Reminds me of journals, I write for myself and for the idea that after I die someone else will read them. Not so my husband can see what I felt about last Monday’s activity. If anyone but me read my journal while I was alive I’d be hurt and ashamed.

I understand when a boy is 14 he’s probably not the best at keeping track of things. But surely by the time he gets married and moves out of his parents house he’s understood the importance of it and has kept it in a place so as not to lose it. Which is why I assumed that once I moved out and got married among the things I took with me was the original copy. According to the scriptures I’m no longer my parents child but my husband’s wife, just as he is no longer a child but instead my husband.

Isn’t it pretty hard to get a copy of your blessing if you don’t know what stake you were in or the name of the patriarch? I got mine at BYU. If I lost it (or lost it in a fire) I would hope my parents had a copy of it. I’m sure most parents would be fine with kids asking the parents not to have it.
Both my husband and I emailed a copy of ours to my parents for loss/fire reasons. We feel comfortable with my parents having a copy because they would treat it as sacred and not be reading it and judging us. They are awesome parents and parents in law. Neither of us have thought about giving a copy to my MIL. She probably doesn’t have a copy and probably doesn’t care and we would NOT request that she read it and give her opinion about it and if we gave copies to her she probably would give her opinion.
I will totally plan on having copies of my kids’ blessings. If they lose their copy I will give them another one, but I will plan on keeping a copy for me. I can’t imagine them asking me not to keep a copy, but I am an awesome mom.
While I plan to let my kids be adults, I still assume I will receive revelation of what I can do to help my children throughout their lives. Good parents pray for their children and look for ways to support them without interfering or giving unwanted advice. As a parent who tries to love my children and see their divine potential the way God does, I can see how a parent might have spiritual insight while reading the blessing. The real test though is whether the child feels like the parent is trying to be controlling or if the parent acts appropriately.

Way to kill the fun, MCQ. I used to even like Cyndi Lauper. Are you going to spill the beans about Santa next?

It is the Spirit that conveys the true meaning

That is an essay all of its own.

I’ve not kept a copy of blessings or read them for my children. Maybe I should.

LiZ, there’s nothing wrong with liking Cyndi Lauper, you know, if you’re into that sort of thing. And the same could be said for having that handle, I just thought maybe she should be aware of the facts, just in case she wasn’t. The last thing I would ever do is discourage women from feeling “fulfilled.”

BTW, about Santa? See here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa

anita–though you can’t get a copy of currently living direct ancestors without their permission.

annegb–I’m sorry for your life experiences, and that your children don’t see the love you’ve tried to convey. Mental illness is not as rampant in my life right now as it was/is in yours. You almost make me want to apologize for my normal, well rounded childhood. Just because I live a different life than yours doesn’t mean my life is going to turn out like yours. I have a great relationship with my mother, and if life echos itself (which it usually does) chances are I’ll have a great relationship with my future adult daughter. Us young people know it’s hard to become an adult when you have a parent breathing down your neck parroting all the mistakes you/they’ve made growing up. Once they leave the house it’s no longer your duty to make decisions for them. Those of us that are parents know it’s going to be hard. It seems like you’re just repeating common sayings we’ve all heard.

MCQ–don’t forget the reindeer! ;)

NH, I will accept cash donations from everyone in the world who had a good childhood if they want to make it up to me.

Saying you know what to expect with your kids is the same thing as thinking you know what to expect of labor before you’ve actually passed an 8 lb lump through your vagina.

Brace yerself…..Even my nicest child drove me nuts when she was 14.

“Patriarchal” just means it’s given by a stake patriarch. It doesn’t mean there is any parental involvement in, or responsibility over, the blessing. If people want to involve their parents in their blessing, that’s certainly their privilege, but parents shouldn’t just automatically presume to take ownership of, or have copies of, patriarchal blessings without the consent of the person to whom it was given.

here is my thoughts on this, i think that its a good idea to have a copy home in a safe place, if it means the parents then its the parents regardless if its the orginal or not.

but i dont know want to know if they are reading it or not. to me its creepy to know wether or not they are reading it.

I have those things for all my kids, NH. They know it and are glad because they move so much. It wasn’t a calculated process but one of them needed a birth certificate and didn’t have the money to send for it, so I did. Then he asked me to keep it. I have his diploma! I ended up sending for certified copies of all the birth certificates. Heck, a couple of months ago Jessie came and got hers because she lost her SS card. And brought it back. I’m like my kids’ safety deposit box.

I think I gave them their SS cards, though. I hope so because our house is full of crap.
I think it’s their evil plan to never really move out.

Funny thing, I was going through files the other day and I found all their immunization records!

I packed up buttloads of stuff (I had probably every school paper they’d ever brought home, I saved everything) and gave it to each of them, telling them to make their own scrapbook. We gave Jared Bill’s army trunk with all his childhood stuff in it but he lost it when he failed to pay his storage bill. Can’t even think about that.

The girls mocked me for saving so much stuff and threw out a lot of it! I can’t believe they didn’t want their kindergarten graduation cap (made from oatmeal boxes.

For me, it’s been a gradual process of moving my jkids out of the house (Bill Cosby once said he hoped his kids moved out before he died). They are very emotionally attached to our house and swear they will never sell it as directed to in our will.

You guys, yes, I feel I was a terrible mother and feel so sorry for my poor children. They’re in denial and seem to be attached to me nevertheless. And they leave their bits and pieces with me so I don’t forget I have children.

NH, you’d probably throw up if you came for a visit.

Jy, Sarah just took it for granted I’d read her blessing. I took it down and she was glad to have it but didn’t even ask if I read it. Just started talking about it.

Off the subject but you wouldn’t believe how important my journals are becoming for looking up stuff that happened.

I think a patriarchal blessing is incredibly personal, and it’s inappropriate for the parents (or anyone else, for that matter) to keep a copy and/or read it without the permission of the person whose blessing it is. It’s like eavesdropping on someone’s prayers. I would feel violated if anyone read my blessing without my consent.

My parents weren’t present when I received my blessing, and they have never read it. I don’t intend to ever let them read it because there is a paragraph in there about them that I would prefer they not see.

My Pat. blessing (received when I was 14ish)was a lifeline while getting through my teen and young adult years.
I laugh now when I think about the line, “Many will find you attractive and desire your companionship…” At fourteen, with badly messed up teeth and abhorrent acne, I was mystified by what that meant. It wasn’t until my freshman year in college, with clearer skin and a cute figure, did I understand what my blessing was saying. I had 3 marriage proposals before I accepted my husbands at 19 years old! Of course, nowhere in my blessing does it say the attention would be from normal guys. All of the earlier proposals were from weirdos.
My kids got their blessings at 14ish, also. I wanted them to have them before the ridiculously hard teenage years really hit. I assumed their blessings would help them as much as mine helped me. I don’t think they even looked at them. Apparently we are such good parents they had no childhood trauma to overcome. Must be nice.

Like annegb, I have all my kids crap. Immunizations, Church certificates, copies of Pat. blessings, whatever. I’m not organized like an early commenter, with generations of blessings in protected binders (I like that idea, though). I just figure we are family. We shared bathrooms, food and beds. Yes – to all my children – I have a copy of your Pat. Blessings. Get over it. I probably still have the pregnancy pee stick that confirmed your existence, too, if that puts it into perspective.

Annegb,

Just another example of how close family members really are. I wiped up pee from every one of my kids. Hell, they all peed on me! I am sure they can handle a pregnancy stick in a baby book.

If you’re going to save hair, you should at least put it in a plastic bag or something. I know parents who saved all their kids baby teeth as well, but at least they put them in a jar or something.

Saving the pregnancy test, is a little disgusting because I’m sure it’s riddled with bacteria, but again, if you keep it in a sealed plastic bag or something, then no harm done. I’m just not sure why anyone would want that. There’s nothing personal about it for the kid at all. It’s just a piece of plastic coated in mom’s urine. Fun!

Yeah, Mcq, that’s basically what dawned on me recently. Although it is sealed in plastic…..

NH, what happened when you were pregnant?

Ah, just a typo then. I was wondering if there was a word there that I had never heard of.

annegb, lets just say if it wasn’t for the medical diagnosis I would have been a casebook definition for bulimia (minus the whole “omgosh I’m fat, must lose weight” mindset). Lost 30 pounds in the process, but gained that and 10 pounds back before labor kicked in. I believe now I weigh 5-10 pounds more than I did before getting pregnant–I don’t own a scale, get too obsessive with numbers.

Sorry about that MCQ, dictionary.com tells me it’s a small upright piano though.