Jota, that’s such a load of crap. I don’t know anybody with that situation.

I think about five men in our ward do their home teaching. Surely the rest of them aren’t fighting their wives to go serve the Lord.

Actually…..Bill is one of them. Because I’m a Nazi about it. From the first day of our marriage, I made it clear it was unacceptable to blow off his home teaching. Hmmmm………crud. They should have me doing that announcement: “Sisters, your husbands are lame and lazy. Kick their lazy behinds a few times and tell them to do their priesthood responsibilities. The Lord needs them!”

Asking the RS to help the priesthood holders do their home teaching is clutching at straws, but since the carrots and sticks of past attempts haven’t worked either, there’s nothing to be lost in trying.

Uh…so much for the Lord needing only men to magnify the Priesthood.

I have never harangued Rob to do his Home Teaching and don’t intent to. That is between him and Heavenly Father. I have enough of my own work to do. I did secretly laugh myself silly years ago when Rob was called to be Elder Quorum President and he bought a book about the importance of doing Home Teaching. 150 pages and $20.00 later the message he got was Do Your Home Teaching. Duh. I’m pretty sure we still have that book on a shelf somewhere, just in case the concept needs refreshing.

If I was in your stake and was a non-Home Teaching man, I would be ashamed. Using women to hand feed Home Teaching to the men is pathetic. Any therapist worth their money would tell you it isn’t going to work. Wrong motivation and long term relationship destruction is ahead.

The Stake President might want to read a couple of parenting books and try some techniques used to get kids to be accountable. Nothing like treating adults like what they really are – lazy, disobedient children.

We moved last year and haven’t had Home Teachers yet. Rob hasn’t been assigned to be a Home Teacher, either. I have had VT from the first month and have a sister who harasses me monthly about doing my VT.
We have had regular visits from the Bishop. Either he really likes us or we on the Slackers List. I refuse to consider which is probably true.

Yup. Contradiction is how I roll.

Hi LIZ. the reason Rob hasn’t been assigned is because we’re considering him to be the new bishop of your ward so we’re easing his burden by not assigning him a home teaching route.

That’s also why you’re getting so many visits from your bishop.

If HTing is really such a problem, why don’t they just concede, make it an extension of VTing, and put your Visiting Teacher coordinator in charge. She knows how to print off the companionships and email monthly asking for reports. It’s just not that hard. While clearly a man’s failure to HT is his own, the Priesthood leadership is also manifesting failure if they cannot communicate with their own guys!

I know the reason I don’t home teach is that I don’t know who is on my route, or if I even have a route. I was doing a letter route for a while, but that changed in December and nobody has given me the new printout. I admit I don’t make it easy for them, since I never go to Priesthood meeting. It is impossible for them to find me in the Primary room.

(going backward) Jota, seriously, that never crossed my mind. I’m wondering if this is a problem in my ward and they’re trying to address it diplomatically. It’s a dumb diplomacy, but still.

Eric, see, this is what bugs me. It’s not rocket science to call your leaders on the phone and clarify things. Stalk them.

KLC, it worked very well for the first oh, fifteen years of my activity in the church (1973-1988). In fact, I would say it’s only been the last ten years that it’s all messed up. And I would agree with you except that for Bill’s HT families, it’s working. It’s working in our home because our home teachers come and do the job they’re supposed to in the right spirit. However, many families in our ward don’t know who their home teachers are and vice versa. There is literally no accountability, no PPI’s, nothing.

ESO, yeah, that could work, but I feel for the poor VT coordinator. It’s a thankless job. And obviously the men aren’t doing their priesthood duty.

I believe that visiting teaching and home teaching are becoming obsolete, but I also believe there has to be a way to implement watch care. Which is the point. Not numbers or getting people to come to church. It’s about making sure those who need help are getting it.

Another options is to focus less on MAKING them do their home teaching, and focus more on helping elders and hp’s bring more love of the Savior into their own lives. Faithful home teaching tends to be an outward fruit of an inner commitment. This process will not have the immediate effect of good HT numbers…but it’s the way of the Savior. And perhaps some of the sisters and bretheren who are doing the teaching will also benefit by learning a little about patience, long suffering, gentleness and persuasion (rather than use of force by embarassment).

I know 10 wives who fit into Jota’s criteria, They are the same wives who complain if hubby gets any calling that cannot be completed wholly in the 3-hour block.

I’ll admit, I won’t encourage my husband to Home Teach, because pretty much every Home Teaching message we’ve ever had has been awkward and unhelpful. Maybe I’ve just only had the “bad” (or socially inept) home teachers (heaven knows we don’t get taught regularly), but I just don’t love the monthly lessons.

Best home teacher I’ve ever had? A friend we knew we could call when we needed help or a blessing. He never once gave us a monthly lesson, but he was a good friend to us.

Oh, I’m sorry, Eric, I’d forgotten (I forgot what I’m thinking about WHILE I’m thinking it). You get a pass.

I’m glad I wrote about this because I needed to see another side of it. Nothing’s black and white, is it?

My Relief Society president and bishop probably order Mylanta by the gallon.

#1 — Jota G — I’ve known places where that got to be a trope, almost. People get into the silliest fads, but you are right, I’ve seen that.

Is that happening in the ward at issue? I don’t know, I don’t attend it.

#16 — good for you Annegb.

I know from experience that if you actually do PPIs, home teaching rises. You also find out who needs help, and can get out to help people (including physical labor of moving them, etc.). But, everything takes time. People do get overwhelmed.

queuno, why exactly do you think that they are passing judgment on you? Doesn’t the bishop visit occasionally? Doesn’t the EQ prsident? Are they passing judgment on you too?

And having uncomfortable conversation with the home teacher once a month doesnt help that. Maybe people should be allowed to make choices for their individual families without being constantly judged by the priesthood leadership. Maybe you could encourage the men to take their kids with them home teaching or to their callings….oh wait only the women have to do that

Who’s stopping you, KLC?

As I see it, home teaching involves watch care. It isn’t a one size fits all and I think you know that. As a young single mother, I needed the home teachers. They fixed my washer, took my son on the father and sons and supported me emotionally and spiritually (without judging).

My husband goes to a couple of older single ladies. He chops wood, cleans their chimney, whatever they need. Keep an eye on, help.

You guys who’ve said you don’t want to be preached to, do you preach when you go out? Maybe some do preach, but you are setting yourself pretty high above to assume you’re the only ones in the church who realize this isn’t effective. Most home teachers who go out visit, get to know their families, and adjust, without preaching.

Jenna, I think I’m the myopic one not Jota. I’m a little impatient with wives who complain, but obviously your situation and that of many young wives in the church needs consideration. Monthly PPI’s seems excessive.

As a total aside, I see an attitude in the newly married and young couples that troubles me. Many young women don’t know how to be homemakers; many young parents don’t seem to have gospel goals aka family prayer and home evening. Programs are for the people, not the other way around, I get that. But in the homes where the young families have been taught correctly and no matter the work situation, strive to fully live the gospel (gag a maggot, I’m preaching)—–those are happier homes.

I see so many young men not focused on work and family–they’ve got their nose in a video game. Young women who don’t know how to cook and keep (NOT only clean) a house. They don’t know to live providently. And there’s a lot of whining.

So to the ones who DO, good on you.

Back to home teaching, bottom line, while I do recognize times have changed, I also say I’m hearing a lot of excuses and bitching without a willingness to be a part of the solution.

Exactly. Bill was just called to be the ward mission leader and he was talking about how he needed to get organized and the challenges of his calling. I told him his main job was to learn to love those people, period. Not get them to love him, but to truly love and value them just as they are. Anything else is gravy.

I was thinking how I feel sorry for the young families where both spouses work and both are over stressed and worn out and how hard life is today and then I thought, “wait a minute. It’s no worse today than it was during the depression or the world wars. maybe it’s the resolve that’s weakening.” Don’t know the answer.

Do you know what the crap I’m talking about ? :)

All I can say to that is that it works when you do it. Nothing works when you don’t do it.

Great, PPIs. Another hour away from the house for those same wives to complain about…

Effective ones can be done in about five minutes per person or less. At least in my experience in doing them.

But yes, the whole problem is that everything takes time.

Listen to My Turn on Earth some time.

Do you know what the crap I’m talking about ? :)

Made sense to me … and you’re worth it.

Keep coming back.

[...] Church.  On a more depressing note, there was an example of Relief Society women being asked to assume responsibilities for their husband’s actions.  And there was also a hilarious example of husband/wife [...]