we try to go to church when we’re on vacation because we think it’s fun to see how things are done elsewhere. believe it or not, there ARE slight variations.

we pass my former catholic parish on the way to church every sunday and often comment on the clothing choices there. i’m sorry, but i just have a tough time thinking it’s okay to show up in shorts and a t-shirt to church every single sunday. i know there are exceptions, but as a rule? of course, i was raised by a very strict mom who wouldn’t let me wear pants to mass, so when we attend mass (our kids go to a catholic school, so we probably attend more often than most catholics!), we are always dressed in casual mormon church dress. i still wear a skirt or dress and my husband wears a dress shirt (it took him three years of attending mass regularly to ditch the tie unless it’s a special occasion).

but i hate feeling like we shouldn’t take our kids to see a new temple on a road trip just because we’re wearing shorts. i do take them, but i always feel self-conscious. admittedly, i wouldn’t wear pants to church unless i was making a point.

BUT i have worn shorts to sacrament meeting! last summer, we were in the grand canyon on vacation and realized the nearest service was something like an hour and a half away. we ditched church and decided to spend the day in the grand canyon, only to discover they actually hold sacrament meeting THERE! it’s mostly for the employees, but they get some visitors, and the branch president and one counselor are called from nearby (meaning an hour away) towns. we scratched the morning plans and hung out in the area, eating lunch and waiting for church to start. we were all dressed casually and the kids were even a bit dirty.

we did not feel out of place. i initially did, but everyone was warm and welcoming and no one mentioned it till my husband did. they said that’s just kind of expected, given the area. it was SO fun and i am glad we went. i still regret not walking the two miles to the chapel when i was visiting family in wales. what a kick that would have been!

oh, and the grand canyon branch also does a two hour block. :P they have a half hour for sunday school, then all of the priesthood meets together and all of the women meet together. primary is only an hour long.

My dad is as conservative as they come but every year when he and his mates go snowboarding in Utah (we’re in Australia) they go in their jeans and boots.

We live in ultra Mormon southeast Idaho and we have new and visiting sisters come to church in pants on a regular basis, men in jeans, kids passing the sacrament in tennis shoes even. As they become more familiar with the gospel I see those sisters change to dresses eventually, but until they do it’s not an issue. (Just another one of the reasons I love my ward here.)

My husband and I attended the Logan Temple once while on vacation at Bear Lake and he hadn’t brought any church clothes with him (I had and he hadn’t planned to go with me, but later changed his mind). We went to Walmart and bought him a pair of slacks and he wore his polo shirt. They were very understanding and welcoming and it was a good experience.

When we are on vacation we attend church if it can be done without putting others out or messing with the timing of places we need to be. When we’re camping we usually don’t attend church . . . mostly because we stink like a campfire. ;)

If you’re on vacation and want to go to church, I think you should do your best to dress as appropriately as possible and call it good. Go!

Well, OK then. When visiting my sister-in-law I went to her megachurch in Charleston, NC and I can certainly relate to how our youth in those areas might feel overdressed on Sundays compared to their friends! Maybe in those areas where LDS are a minority we use a Sunday dress code as a marker to distinguish our being in the world but not of it kind of thing. And then maybe it becomes more of a letter of the law than spirit of the law with the unintended consequence of appearing uninviting to those not dressed as we are.

I’ve seen people at church in jeans.

I’m sorry to hear you felt you couldn’t go because you didn’t have the right clothes. It’s a missed opportunity for you and for your mother-in-law. :( I struggle a bit with the whole “good clothes show reverence” and “God wouldn’t want me to let the lack of fancy clothes keep me from church and Him” thing too. Generally I feel that if you have it, you should wear it but if you don’t, you shouldn’t let it stop you. I came to that conclusion after one Sunday where I stayed home because I didn’t have my make-up on in time. I was mad at myself for many reasons but in the end decided I was most mad because I’d let such a stupid thing keep me from taking the Sacrament.

I have mixed emotions, but I’m in a different generation and more old school.

We’ve camped with our kids at Duck Creek on Cedar Mountain and there is an outdoor meeting organized, complete with Relief Society and Primary. It’s pretty cool to meet with your family outdoors and no one cares what one is wearing. We’re all camping, after all. Based on what others have said here, other wards in Utah have drop in visitors who aren’t in Sunday best.

I don’t care if women wear pants and hell, a lot of guys and boys wear levis, as well as sneakers.

I agree with Silver Rain, people might wonder but not gasp in shock, point their fingers and as a group shun the visitors.

But I’d be LOL and wondering if we were being punked if somebody walked in wearing a swimming suit.

My sister attends an evangelical church and they wear whatever they want. I hate the way our church members assign value to each other based on economic conditions, but it is a female characteristic to notice what other women are wearing and compare, so it’s not only a church issue.

All things being equal, in most cases, it’s possible to be relatively clean and neat. Personally, I think that’s what matters. I get my back up when men (and sorry, the pronouncements come from men) tell women how to dress to look acceptable to the Lord. We Mormons take that ball and run with it and keep score in our heads all to hell.

Still, the idea that worship should be a serious and respectful matter, while not politically correct, isn’t without merit. How one approaches that should be an individual decision.

All THAT back and forth (I’m a Libra, after all) being said, one time Sarah and I walked unknowingly into a fancy Sunday Country Club brunch as guests of a member dressed down. Sarah was wearing flip-flops and we both had on shorts and casual shirts (well my friend did, as well). People dressed in suits and designer dresses looked at us like we were circus acts and they wanted to hold their noses. It was kind of funny. We weren’t allowed to eat in the main dining room. For my friends’ sake, we were gracious about it, but I’ve never forgotten how I felt. And the protectiveness I felt towards my daughter.

I never want to make anybody feel that way.

Here For the most part we dress in our Sunday best but we dont look down on those who dont. My Friend attends an early morning service at her church where there are some who go in their PJ’s….

Or, “How not packing a skirt prevented me from taking the sacrament”

well that’s just silly. you would not have been prevented from taking the sacrament had you have decided to attend the meeting in pants. being prevented from doing something is different from deciding not to.

i do think our cultural dress code is an interesting subject to consider. but if you think your mother in law may have had a good experience in attending church with you, i think you could have just gone – and sat towards the back if your were concerned about your casual clothes wiggin people out.

casually dressed attendees may buck mormon cultural norms, but someone in jeans would not be prevented from worshipping.

#17 Renee – “being prevented from doing something is different from deciding not to”

My thoughts exactly! I’ve been keeping up with the comments here via my phone for the past 48 hours but just couldn’t bring myself to spend the time to type out a comment on my phone’s keyboard. Now that I’m at my computer, I can comment more easily.

When we have blessed our children and invited my in-laws (non-members) to attend, I’ve told my mother-in-law that most women wear skirts or dresses to church but that she doesn’t have to. I think it’s appropriate and fair to prepare her so she feels as comfortable as possible in a possibly uncomfortable position. And my statement is true. Most women in my ward do wear skirts but not all. We have a nice, elderly Indian woman who regularly wears slacks to church and a few others who have occasionally shown up in pants. No one has ever commented (at least within earshot of me) nor have these women been kept from participating in any way.

Choosing to not pack Sunday attire may have resulted in a less comfortable attendance at church because of your awareness of social expectations, but certainly wouldn’t have stopped you from taking the sacrament.

Follow-up question: NH, If your mother-in-law made the offer on Friday evening, why didn’t you try to find appropriate attire during the day on Saturday?

My parents (both converts but active members for over 35 years) once visited us and also didn’t pack church clothes on accident. When we realized the problem on Saturday, my mom and I went to the local thrift store to find appropriate Sunday attire for her and my dad. The clothes were second-hand and certainly not ones they kept long term, but it allowed them to attend church and feel more comfortable in the environment (though my dad was still in tennis shoes rather than dress shoes). They could have attended regardless and, like many other commenters, have attended local wards in jeans while camping, but had the time to make an effort to rectify the error.

I like the story about the hippie (long hair, and dressed like a hippie) who visted a church, and couldn’t find a seat, so he sat on the floor. Then one of the staid and dignified elderly men in the congregation went over and sat down on the floor with him.

I can’t remember the whole story. Is that an LDS story?

It made me giggle but also made me wonder what the motivation is.

I would suspect the motivation is, “Don’t cut yourself off from God because you are afraid of what society thinks about your clothes.”

Come as you are includes come in whatever state of belief/non-belief you have, as well. Questions are welcome the same way flip-flops are. Don’t let “trappings of the world” prevent you from searching your heart and finding communion, and don’t keep a wall between you and God just because you don’t look/think/act like the rest of the people around you.

The invitation is extended to all and you are welcome at the table. You can show respect and reverence whether you paid $1,000 for your suit or whether you’re in hand-me-downs from your cousin’s friend’s sister.

I am sorry to say that “come as you are” is not something I’ve ever felt in my ward. You’re right but with many Mormons it’s “come if you’re perfect.”

#25 annegb – “…with many Mormons it’s ‘come if you’re perfect.’”

I was discussing a clothing-related issue with my sister and we came to the conclusion that the adversary likes to use things like clothing choices as a way to divide us from one another.

When obeying commandments becomes an issue of pride, you’ve wandered into dangerous territory. We were discussing what qualifies as being judgmental in relation to others’ clothing choices at church. Noticing that someone else is wearing something you wouldn’t be comfortable in (for whatever reason) isn’t necessarily the same as judging that person. But, when you start feeling superior because you’re dressed “better,” or more appropriately than another person, you’ve crossed the line.

It’s unfortunate that we feel the need to introduce pride into the equation when attending church. But it’s really hard to walk the line of being as obedient as we can without then looking at others for comparison. Thankfully, in my ward, we have a wide variety of styles seen every Sunday so that even wearing a jean skirt, sandals and a t-shirt (not uncommon for me) one can feel acceptably dressed.

You know, PfP, my #25 was unnecessarily snarky. My ward is pretty cool about how people dress, although none of us is above preening when we feel particularly cute in our new clothes (I am no exception), but we’re all middle class and nobody wears Dior. My comment was based on what I perceive as an exclusionary attitude based on total conformity on the part of some. Many in my ward are very kind people. None of them read this, but I was unfair.

But on your point, I don’t think Satan cares what we’re fighting about as long as we’re fighting with each other.

I attended church at a branch next to Yellowstone Park once and saw lots of tourists in Jeans. I also attended in Honolulu. No swimsuits, but plenty of flip Flops, Hawaiian shirts and lava lavas. That said, I think people may be more judgemental in non -tourist areas. I know someone who was called in by her bishop because she wore slacks to church, even though there is no church policy requiring women to attend in skirts and many slacks are more formal looking than many skirts.

when we lived in hawai’i, ALL of the men (two different wards we were in) wore ties. they may have worn slippahs, but they always wore a tie. the girls might have been more casually dressed, but aside from the shoes, they still looked nice.

it was a BIG adjustment when we moved to the mainland and i was called out on dressing too casually. i was wearing a white linen skirt with a pink 3/4-sleeve v-neck 100% cotton shirt and a pair of “fancy” flip-flops (more like sandals, but i guess, yes, flip-flop-ish in appearance?). the sister said i was wearing a t-shirt and flip-flops, which i guess was technically true? it still looked nice, though. :\

#30 Ray

To dress up is to show that we are going somewhere special and doing something special. When we start wearing casual clothing to church on a regular basis, church will no longer be something apart, something special. It will be no more special than going to 7-11 for a Twinkie.

I only go to 7-Eleven for caffeinated beverages by the gallon. What kind of crazy person eats Twinkies??? ;-)

I totally agree (well, except for eating Twinkies). As great as the concept of “come as you are” may sound, attending church should be something special. And how we dress–as well as how we act (see my post about keeping the Sabbath)–denotes how we feel about the activities in which we are participating. If I showed up to work in jean shorts, a tank top, and flip flops, I’d be saying something about how seriously I take my job (I’d also be saying “fire me!” by breaking the dress code). We dress up for all sorts of special occasions. Church should qualify.

I eat Twinkies. I freeze them. But I’m going to change all that when I get 70.

I was always taught that dressing appropriately for church was a matter of showing respect. The big question when some one dresses more casually for church is do you not have the clothes (for whatever reason, and we can ALL end up in that situation), or are you too lazy to make the effort? And I’m not talking about being dressed to the nines. When I went to Army Basic Training I made sure I took Church appropriate clothing, although I would have been all right going in fatigues. In our years in Military Branches we frequently had members who had just come from 24 hours of duty straight to church in their fatigues. Perhaps the biggest question to ask is “Is my clothing modest?”.