For me, there’s two separate categories 1) Will this make the coming week easier to handle–goes along with resting, or 2) Will I feel the spirit while doing it–rejuvenating my soul–then it is Sunday appropriate. Due to the stress in our house we’ve been spending more of our Sundays resting than rejuvenating.

Which is why I hate these types of lessons, our answers should be varied because families are varied. Calling Sunday ‘Family Day’ diminishes those who are single or married without kids. Growing up I would say ‘Family Day’ when I was talking to someone I didn’t want to explain religion to. If it was someone I was willing to discuss it with, I would say something along the lines of the day is there to bring us closer to Christ.

Well, when one feels that Sunday is just a giant day of “Don’t” that leads to staring at the wall, being able to include family-oriented activities is a good way to keep one’s sanity.

Apparently sanctimonious doesn’t mean quite what I thought it did. I meant to say how can you decline an invitation while stating you try to keep the Sabbath-day holy without sounding judge-y and holier-than-thou?

I’m with you on the subjective part, annegb. When I was a child, playing outside was off limits on Sunday in our house. However, my sister has no problem sending her kids (7 of them) outside immediately after church. Of course, if I had 7 kids, I’d be anxious to get them outside, too!

With a part-active family (my husband is a member but has no interest in church), there are several activities that go on at our house on Sundays that I wouldn’t count as Sabbath-worthy. For instance, my husband often mows the lawn on Sundays. I would prefer he set a better example for the kids, but it’s not worth the tension and fighting to go to battle over it.

I guess in our house Sundays have been the day we’ve traditionally fought about how to keep the day.

Yep. Exactly what I’m trying to avoid.

How do you say, “we prefer to keep the Sabbath-day holy” without sounding sanctimonious?

I understand what you mean, jes, but I think there’s still a way to share our true intentions without sounding holier-than-thou.

When the neighbor called to see if my son wanted to go with them to the store and then the playground on a Sunday afternoon, I thanked her for thinking of him/us and then said, “You know, any other day of the week I would absolutely say yes. But Sundays are church days for us and we try to avoid shopping and things like going to the park so we can enjoy our Sundays a bit more.” I included the “any other day” so she would know it wasn’t the activity I disaproved of, just the day on which it was happening. I also thanked her for thinking of us. It’s now been several months since this invitation was extended, and our families and children are getting along as well as ever before.

I think giving a more honest answer does two things: One, I think it makes clear the type of activities we are willing to engage in on Sundays so as to make future invitations easier to extend (or not extend if the other party understands the activity isn’t one we would engage in on the Sabbath). And, two, I think it opens up opportunities to talk about our beliefs. Since declining my neighbor’s invitation, we have had several lovely discussions about faith, religion, attending church, and family dynamics related to these things. And when I asked if her daughter could join us for church (on behalf of my shy 6-year-old), she willingly accepted. I think this is partially because I’ve been very open about my beliefs.

So, I understand not wanting to put people off by explaining our Sunday choices, but I think there is a way to make it happen without sounding like a complete jerk.

If it was all about “family”, then you could really justify doing just about anything in a group — movies, skiing, backpacking, and so forth. I think doing “holy” things usually includes the family, but doing family things are not always “holy.”

Exactly my thoughts!

Regarding staring at the wall / the “don’ts” on the Sabbath: what this lady said.

#13 Ron

Her son will have plenty of chances to feel the spirit as he grows. I say if the Iphone is the difference between you and the people around you feeling the spirit, or the entire congregation hearing the son’s spirit, then by all means give him the phone.

Well, her son is 13 and occasionally passes the sacrament. I think he’s old enough to understand the importance of being reverant. If it was a little child, I’d probably agree (other than the fact that it sets a bad precidence and can be destracting for anyone sitting behind that family).

I know what you mean about having little kids. I attended church with just my 6-year-old and new baby yesterday. Leaving my 3-year-old at home makes church a much different experience!

I have always thought that, instead of focusing on what we supposedly cannot do on Sunday, we should rather focus on the things we can and should do on Sunday. Sunday should be so full of those cans and shoulds that we don’t have any time to worry about the can’ts or shouldn’ts.

With that in mind, some shoulds:

Attend Church
Read the scriptures alone or with family
Take a nap (yes, seriously)
Visit extended family
Have a family meal
Talk together as a family
Do home teaching or visiting teaching
Have visits from home or visiting teachers
Visit those we know who are sick or in need
Pray together as a family
Perform or plan to perform your calling
Do genealogy work
Plan your week and coordinate family schedules
Have one on one meetings with spouse and/or children
View or read conference talks
Read church magazines or other gospel study materials

That’s a lot of stuff. All that doesn’t need to be done every Sunday of course, but there’s still enough in there to keep us busy on Sunday that we ought not to have much time to worry about staring at the wall or wondering why we can’t go to the movies.

#18 namakemono – There’s a woman in my ward in a similar circumstance. Her husband hates that she goes to church because it takes away from the time they could spend together. However, it sounds like their time together is just sitting at home watching TV. Very unfortunate.