9 Comments | leave a comment | RSS 2.0 for this post | trackback |
Good for you! |
God would not speak through man if he could speak to you. A friend told me that when I was struggling with a calling and she pretty much solidified my confidence to say no to things I know are wrong for me from now on. |
Been there, done that. I know how hard it is to say No. Congratulations on having the courage to know your own heart and limitations and being true to yourself. I know of two couples who left the church because they never said No and they got burnt out. They attend other churches with paid ministries and told me how nice it is to not have to do anything but attend services. I know that if I got asked to do something right now I would laugh out loud and would tell the bishopric they should get their own cable show – the idea of me doing one. more. thing. is that hilarious. If Heavenly Father was depending on me to throw a Ward Party, the cultural hall would be filled with the lovely nature sounds of chirping crickets and nothing else. |
#3 LIZ – If Heavenly Father was depending on me to throw a Ward Party, the cultural hall would be filled with the lovely nature sounds of chirping crickets and nothing else.” Amen to that! I served on my ward’s Activity Committee (before they were discontinued) and they |
Having been raised “in the church,” I was brought up with the concept that one doesn’t turn down a calling–ever. I don’t think this was ever stated aloud by my parents or leaders, but it seems to be pervasive in the culture. I have turned down only one calling in my life but probably should have turned down a few more. Most of the time, I think callings are inspired. I’ve been on the receiving end of inspiration that seemed crazy and yet turned out to be a really good call for the organization and the person called. However, not all callings are issued based on inspiration. When my marriage was falling apart, and I was serving under a bat-sh!t crazy Primary President, I asked to be released. The Bishop (who I disagreed with on many, many issues) then called me to serve as the ward choir leader. Looking back, I think he may have been as crazy as the PP. I had already explained my situation in detail and that I felt like I needed to have Sundays be a day where I could come to church, recharge, enjoy Relief Society, and then return home ready to deal with the stressors there. At the time, my oldest was only 15-months-old, and the idea of coming to church an hour early to direct choir practice while worrying about my toddler roaming the halls was just laughable. I didn’t even have to pray about that one. I knew it wasn’t inspired and turned him down flat. Several months later when my life had settled down, my friend told me that she (the other counselor in the Primary at the time) and the Bishop both had felt I would become “inactive” if I didn’t have a calling. I don’t offend easily, but I actually found that sentiment offensive. I’d been inactive for several years and made my way back to church on my own. I had no intention (and still don’t have any intention) of moving backwards on that path. I’ve never believed in extending callings to improve another person’s church attendance. I get that other people need to feel important and needed, but anyone who really knows me knows that isn’t my thing. I attend church because I’m supposed to. Sometimes, I even attend because I want to. And, most of the time, it makes me a happier person. So don’t be afraid to tell some leader to go jump if you’re asked to fill a role you know isn’t inspired. |
Good for you – more folks should do this |
“I attend church because I’m supposed to. Sometimes, I even attend because I want to.” Thank you thank you thank you. |
#7 Karen – You’re welcome, you’re welcome, you’re welcome! :-) |
The “no one turns a call, ever” mantra comes from a time when there wasn’t that much variability between members, and leaders already knew everything about their flocks. We live in a more highly impersonal age. It’s fair to say that leaders only know a fraction about the lives of the people in their ward, and they rarely have enough information to go on about family conflicts, etc. |