I’ve been ticked off and disillusioned because of my experiences re Mormonism in my ward these last few years. The situation with my friend’s son who was convicted of sexual crimes did a number on all of us, but I think it affected me the most (it’s always all about me, in my mind…..well, it is my mind, so there you go. It might be about you in your mind). Because of my childhood and family situation, this neighborhood and the ward have been my surrogate family. Finding out we aren’t a perfect little family was a blow to my psyche from which I haven’t fully recovered.

However, yesterday, a neighbor who is the Switzerland in our ward told me she was pretty sure we’re getting a temple in Cedar City. And instantly, I was on board. I felt invigorated and excited and definitely want to be part of that effort.

Now. I’ve, as much as is possible for me, flown under the radar since about 2006. I’ve quietly done my callings, visiting teaching and leaned on my rep as a crazy person to keep me out of the limelight. I know it sounds contradictory that a crazy person can be ignored, but I don’t get asked to give talks or prayers or lessons because nobody’s sure what I’m going to do. And our ward has split twice, so there are new people who don’t know me and I kind of quietly come and go. Quietly. Seriously. Most of the time.

Well, I did get asked to give a talk (said “no.” “No way in hell, Nyet, never in this life” You get it) and to head a party committee (see previous negations). So maybe they’re thinking I’m getting un-crazy, at least a bit. But I’ve mostly lived apart from the limelight. Meaning being in the thick of things as was my wont before. I’ve actually ordered people not to even consider me for some things because I wouldn’t do it. Forget I exist, guys.

But, I’m easy. I waver back and forth between conflicting groups on the bloggernacle based on the power of other peoples’ rhetoric like wheat in the wind.

And I’m definitely on board with this temple thing. If it happens. Keeping my fingers crossed. It’s 9:50 am. In twenty minutes, we’ll know!