Why You Can’t Attend Your Friends’ LDS Wedding but Should

I read the article above and it reminded me again how ridiculous I think this policy is. When I got married 26 years ago both sets of parents went to the temple ceremony with Rob and I, but none of our siblings could attend. Neither could any of my bridesmaids and only 2 of the groomsmen. Why not? Because they didn’t have temple recommends. At the time I didn’t give it a thought because everyone knew and accepted The Rules.

But now I am older and have seen all kinds of life and I don’t generally put up with unnecessary crap anymore.

I have a dear friend who got married when she and her husband were in their early thirties and although they were both temple worthy true blue Mormons, they had a civil wedding so everyone could attend and then they got sealed a year later. Lots and lots of people had opinions about their choice. I was surprised at how upset people were, especially the comment that they were setting a bad example for the youth in their ward. I gotta say, their wedding was magazine stunning, which is not hard to do when both the bride and the groom look like models. I guess the thought was they made civil weddings look too appealing.

I silently applauded my friend and agreed she did the right thing. All their family attended and no one was left out. How is that a bad thing?

The part that really burns my butt about this issue is that in countries that don’t recognize temple weddings as legal, it is routine to get civilly married first and then immediately marry in the temple. That shows this is not an ordinance problem, this is a man-made rule that can be changed.

I am thinking the only way this craziness is going to end is if we all vote with our feet. I am encouraging my kids ( if and when they decide to marry) to get married civilly first and then get sealed in the temple afterward. Yes, I know that means they will wait a year and you know what – I don’t care. I do care that no one is left out on their wedding day and if the American version of our church doesn’t like that, then they can choose to change the rules to match the rest of the world.

And as for that claptrap story I was told when I was a Young Woman, the one President Kimball told about the young couple who got married civilly and then DIED (Yes, Died!) on their wedding day so they weren’t together in the eternities, that is when I will delight in reminding the teller that luckily we have temples and I would do their work so they can be sealed. After waiting a year, of course. To make sure the dead people are worthy and all.

PS. I think it is great there is website about this Family First Weddings and I hope change comes. This really is quite stupid for a Church that has its own official essay on the importance of families.