27 years ago this month, Rob and I were sitting on a white couch in the Celestial Room ( a beautiful all white room that represents heaven) at the temple, waiting our turn to get married because we chose the busiest day of the day of the year to seal the deal, when a sweet white-haired elderly man made a beeline towards us.

It was very crowded at the temple that day, what with a million weddings going on, so when the elderly man sat down next to us, we didn’t think anything of it. I was decked out in my wedding dress and Rob had on his white tux. It was obvious what we were there for.

The old man turned to us and asked, “You kids getting married today?”
We nodded.
He said, “Let me give you the best marriage advice you will ever get. ”
We leaned in close so as not to miss a word of the wisdom he was going to utter that would make our marriage solid.
He dropped his voice to a whisper and said, “Don’t do it on a hill.”

What? What does that mean, don’t do it on a hill? What hill? And is he talking about THE it, the one we saved ourselves for and were eager to try on our honeymoon?

Rob and I were very confused and shot each other looks of concern.

“You know, don’t do it on a hill because my wife and I tried that once and we rolled right down. It is much better to do it at the bottom of the hill, since that is where you are going to end up anyway and it hurts a lot less when you haven’t rolled down the hill buck naked.”

After an awkward pause, Rob replied, “Oh, yes. Of course. That makes perfect sense. Thank you for warning us.”

With that tiny bit of encouragement, the man started to tell us another gem of sexual advice, but mid-sentence a middle-aged woman darted across the crowded room, straight at us.

“Dad! What are you doing? I hope you aren’t saying anything embarrassing to these people.” She turned to us and said, “I’m sorry. We try not to leave him alone because we never know what he is gong to say next, but he slipped away too fast this time.”
“Sure, no problem. He was very nice and gave us a bit of advice for our wedding.”
The old man winked at Rob and smiled at me.
“Oh dear! I hope it wasn’t too bad.” she sighed, her cheeks flushing.
“Um, no. It was fine.” Rob said.
The old man turned to his daughter and said,
“All I said was they shouldn’t do it on a hill.”
In an instant she grabbed his arm and hauled him up and away. They were gone before he could even finish his thought.

At the time, it was a hysterically funny moment that broke all the tension and stress from our horrifically messed up morning ( we’ll save that story for another day, thank you very much.)

Now that we are caretaking our three elderly parents, we have an understanding of the elderly man’s daughter. We get it.

But we also agree that his advice was the best ever and frankly, the only one we remember from our wedding day.