When I turned 18, I honest to gosh thought all my pimples would clear up magically. When I turned 21—hey, I’m a grown-up! Then I thought maybe at 30, I’d magically mature. So far, it isn’t happening. I find myself turning to much younger people all the time for advice and wisdom. Maybe some people never grow up. But I still repeat my mistakes and create wreckage in my life. Maybe 60 will be the magic age.
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I can’t believe it’s conference time already. I just finished reading last conference’s talks (I’m redundant, I listen as much as possible, tape it, and read it in the Ensign—you’d think I’d be translated by now). Read more »

My daughter asked me awhile back how much money Bill and I had in our retirement account.  I got my back up, just like a little old lady who’d been asked if she masturbated and said, “I don’t discuss my finances.”

And I don’t.  I, who am so open about many other things in my life, find the very word “money” embarrassing.    It could stem from being so poor as a child.  Poverty is shameful.  My mother used to borrow from people and never pay them back.  I recall very clearly as a little girl, seven or eight, cringing in embarrassment, but hoping they’d lend her the money to buy bread because we were hungry.  Of course she never repaid her debts. Read more »

I stumbed onto blogging in, I think November 2003?  Something like that.  I’d been put in as the visiting teaching supervisor, one of the crap callings of the church.  It was my second go round and they needed a pit bull, but I wasn’t happy about it. 

(Please forgive my tone, they have me on every medication from here to Sunday and I’m at least halfway not responsible for my actions, the cure is becoming worse than the disease, but I am getting a little exercise, just slap me figuratively, or e-mail me and chew me out if you are mad and I’ll post all your complaints in a follow up post.  I’m getting slapped around quite a bit for blogging at the moment, it’s becoming familiar.  Whine.   gardnera@netutah.com) Read more »

This past Sunday, we received a letter from the Office of the First Presidency called “False Statement,” which read:

A statement has been circulated that asserts in part that the youth of the Church today “were generals in the war in heaven…and [someone will] ask you, ‘Which of the prophet’s time did you live in?’ and when you say ‘Gordon B. Hinckley’ a hush will fall,…and all in attendance will bow at your presence.”

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I’d first intended to do a back and forth with Nick Literski re same sex marriage, then I dumped him for a more famous person (Carol Lyn Pearson) (I mean,  he’s probably thinking “what am I, chopped liver?), then I began to read her book and talk to her and realized that any back and forth would trivialize her opinions and most worthy book (”No More Goodbyes,  Circling the wagons around our gay loved ones”).

 Carol Lyn’s book resonates with compassion, deep spirituality and love for others.  It’s not a book one reads at one sitting (as I normally do).  It takes studying and pondering.  Frankly, I think she should get a Pulitzer, or some Mormon facsimile for her effort.  My copy is already pretty beat up, with dog ears, post-it’s sticking out all over, and marked up passages.  It’s that good. Read more »

As some of you may know, my neighbors have discovered my blog and narcked (however you spell it) me off to the proper church authorities. Read more »

Perhaps that’s a misleading title.  Oh, well.

 I do.  I think he did the right thing and I’m glad Prince William is going to be stationed on a ship in the war zone.  I applaud them and the British people and monarchy. Read more »

          Angela Hallstrom got inside my brain and wrote a book about it.   I suspect somehow she got in some mens’ brains as well, and some young peoples’ brains and some mentally peoples’ brains and probably was invisibly visiting some LDS homes as well.  That’s how good this girl can write.    I know, I probably should write “well” but she is just good, damn good. Read more »

I’m sorry, guys, really.  I remember somebody not long ago posting how women have all these programs and guys have none.  I think that’s a valid point and perhaps you guys should organize something.  The thing is, women organize all these special stuff for each other.  If you guys sit around and sigh and complain, it’s never going to happen.  Women are the do-ers of the church.  No offense. Read more »

I used to visit so many blogs every day—I don’t have a clue how I had the time, but I sure had a good time. I miss that. Being a permablogger somehow takes more time than one would assume—so if you feel left out because a permablogger only visits their own group blog, please realize it’s not because we don’t want to read all the good stuff on other blogs. There’s so much! Read more »

         We’ve been having a bit of bother in our ward lately and I decided to try as hard as I can to support others who are suffering from feelings of rejection and loneliness.  I called another friend to invite her to lunch with a bunch of us and made a comment about her being in the “in crowd.” Read more »

I found this picture as I perused the magazines in our room at Little America—the Tower Suites!! You know, I used to consider staying at a motel–any motel—a luxury. Mostly we slept on the floor at relatives’ homes, or their couches. Once I even booked rooms at Little America–it was a cottage room, for $65, I think. At the time, about 1989, that was quite a bit of money. I walked in, felt intimidated and walked out. I stayed at some other motel in Midvale. Read more »

John McCain looking like a nervous boy scout getting his Life Scout Award.  That’s how it looked at a glance as I watched CNN’s coverage of Romney’s endorsement of John McCain, a few minutes ago. Read more »

Bill and I were early to a temple session last week and we picked up the scriptures to peruse as we waited.  I’ve read the Book of Mormon so many times that I tend to skim and miss a lot these days. Read more »

Having experienced LDS Social Services as a foster child in their care, I have little regard for the institution.  My sisters and I were part of a pilot program in Vegas (Victor Brown, Jr. was the boss—-he was pretty cool) for foster care.  We were in a few good homes, but mostly not.  Many were inactive and two were terribly abusive. Read more »

My friend, Brent Holloway, has given me permission to print the column he wrote for our local paper yesterday.    I thought he had some profound points worth sharing.  It’s entitled “Balm of Gilead.” 

Courage.  Sometimes you see it in the most unusual places – even at church.

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I did a post awhile back about my ward and the struggles most of us had—I wanted to show that Mormons are just like everyone else, not weird or strange.  However, some of my co-bloggers felt it might be offensive (particularly to members of my ward :), most of whom don’t even know what a blog is), but I agreed and deleted it.  I’m glad I did.

 However, last Sunday I looked at each person in the room.  I know almost of them very well and consider most of them good friends.  A goodly percentage are like family to me.  Having no real family structure, I’ve made my ward my family. Read more »

I can hardly believe eight years has passed since I put in all that food storage and prepared for Y2K.  You guys, our grandchildren could be preparing for the second coming, with us hovering unseen from the spirit world, as the rate God’s going.

 I used to make resolutions.  I stopped when I got sick and tired of trying to be good.  But I usually kept my resolutions.  It’s like a promise in my mind. Read more »

I have a feeling I’m totally screwing this up, but this is our house this Christmas. We used to have a reindeer family and light up the lilac bushes in three colors and all the trees in front in pretty white lights and we have three small lit trees and a lollipop row. It was pretty, really, but tons of work.

This is what we did this year. It looks nice and not too much work.

I am off to visit my mom for Christmas and make the pies. God bless us, every one!